Inheritance split - how to split when siblings have different numbers of children

[Benja1405]

Divorced parent died - two married sons in will, one has 3 children and one has 2. What do you feel is the fairest way for the estate to be split? Lawyer thought 50/50 between the two sons. Son with 3 children thinks 55/45 in his favour is fairer as he has more children. Just interested in views, thanks.

[dumdumduuuummmmm]

@alphons I see your point. But when all the siblings are the other side of 45yo, things are very unlikely to change. Stepchildren are a completely different matter
But you can never be sure. The DC are sons. They could go off and have a whole second family with a 20 something new partner.

[Bumply]

My Mum gave fixed amount to each grandchild (£1000). Smaller amount to great grandchildren.
Then the rest was split equally between us children

[EmotionalSupportWyrm]

I've got an elderly, wealthy, friend with 3 dc. Her dd has 2 dc and not a lot of money, her ds1 has 2 dc and is comfortable, her ds2 has tons of money (he's something big in banking) and 4 dc. She has agonised over this as she knows the potential for upset as the DD and DS2 really don't get on.

She has written into her will that all of the DGC get a set amount as she loves them equally (I'm guessing £5-£10k each) and then the rest is split equally between her dc - even though ds2 doesn't "need" it and the dd really does. She would love to be able to really help out the dd but feels the fallout would destroy any remaining relationships. It really can get toxic around inheritance.

[SabrePrattler]

If I were her I'd bung my less well off child some ££££ as a gift while I was still l alive. And have the will splitting things three equal ways.

If one of your kids is earning £20K and another is earning £500K it's not favouritism to help the lower earner out.

[GoodThinkingMax]

She has written into her will that all of the DGC get a set amount as she loves them equally (I'm guessing £5-£10k each) and then the rest is split equally between her dc - even though ds2 doesn't "need" it and the dd really does. She would love to be able to really help out the dd

Why doesn't she help out her DD while she (your friend) is alive?

The thing is, a will is more than the cash. It's the final statement about the love & regard that the testator has for her family (or heirs). To leave unequal amounts can suggest unequal love.

I've seen the distress & harm this can do in a family - I had an aunt who was completely left out of her father's will. There had been no falling out, no distance - there was no explanation. It was awful to witness her distress. Fortunately my mother & her other sister pooled all the money & re-split it 3 ways instead of 2.

It wasn't much money - only a few thousands each, but it was what the will seemed to symbolise.

[Chickenmicken]

Should be 50:50. A person should not inherit more than their sibling because they have chosen to have more children or houses or pets.

[RomeoOscarXrayIndigoEcho]

In Scotland you cannot disinherit your children. My Mum died many years ago meaning inheritance from her parents came directly to my sibling and I.

My Mum had living siblings who inherited. We got the legal minimum which had to be split in two and the siblings each got twice as much as our "legal minimum" (before split)

Silly thing but it hurt. I was very close to my Grandparents and to only get the legal minimum was weird. Mum's living siblings were/are affluent and set up for life. An equal share would have made a massive difference to my sibling and I.

Felt like we were being punished for the fact our Mum died so many years ago (when we were tiny)

To add to this when I asked for certain items from my Grandparents home (nothing of value, just sentimental and relevant to me given shared interests) I was told over and over "oh that's been promised to cousin a, b, c" my cousins from the living siblings and did not have the shared interest with my Grandparents.

I was too young back then to know about the deed of variation. I'd have asked about it.

[TizerorFizz]

I’m not sure anyone should be punished in a will for doing well in their career. Some people don’t need the money but it’s the thought that counts. They are surely not less lived because they are better off. It’s important to show love equally via a will and indeed before. There’s nothing worse than favouring the less well off at the expense of others who might have worked harder and been more diligent. If everyone is treated the same, then there are no arguments.,

[EmotionalSupportWyrm]

@SabrePrattler

If I were her I'd bung my less well off child some ££££ as a gift while I was still l alive. And have the will splitting things three equal ways.

If one of your kids is earning £20K and another is earning £500K it's not favouritism to help the lower earner out.

She does - but she can't give a substantial sum as DS2 is her executor - he would have full access to all her accounts and would see that money had already gone to the DD - if it was within 7yrs of my friend dying then it's counted as part of the estate anyway and he would adjust the rest accordingly..

I've told her that I don't think she should try to second guess relationships after she's gone, and just do what she thinks is right - but frankly she's the glue holding them together at this point and I don't think the DD and DS2 will maintain contact after she's gone - no matter what happens (I haven't said that to her).

I'm just glad none of my siblings were like this when our DPs died. There was only a small amount, it was below probate level, and we just agreed between us to give each of the GC £1k, give a gift to the hospice and then split what was over, only a few thousand each. The sibling without kids was more than happy for that to happen - partly as she really couldn't be arsed to do all the paperwork around the death/funeral and was very grateful to the two of us who did it all!

I really do think the more money is involved the worse people behave!

[TizerorFizz]

More money means more flexibility. However my DM has left equally to 3 DCs. I know I have way more than my siblings but we’ve worked for it! They didn’t bother. I’m no different from them in terms of love an affection. I’m equal so I get an equal share, despite my siblings having less money. That, though, was their choice.

[RealityTV]

It should be a straight 50/50 split!
What your brother is trying to do is be unfair.
Imagine if the one brother had NO children! Would it then be fair to give him even less because he had NO children? No! 50/50 would have been the right thing!

Why do relatives always look to get more than their fair share! The 55/45 brother is greedy. To take money from his brother is awful!