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Legal matters

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beneficiary Of a will… will they contest it all the way !

74 replies

Lifesforloving1 · 10/04/2022 18:13

Evening,
I am looking for some advice.
My Gradma has recently passed away, it has been a massive shock but she left myself and my sister her house- as you have probably heard before family members are not happy ( her blood children ) I completely understand where they are comming from, but this was her wish and it’s been put in her will ? With two witnesses present ( one being a solicitor ) also a little write up, saying this was her discussion ect ect …. I have been getting nothing but nasty text messages, phone calls and voicemails. It has really upset me ! ( asking me to do the right thing ??? )
I have been my grans career for years- ( they are saying we made her do it ) which upsets me even more. I haven’t responded to any of there nasty messages.
2 days ago probate was started, it has now been stopped my my uncle as they are saying it’s being contested. I’m so stressed with it all. Is this the start of it being contested ? I’ve heard it costs a awful lot of money ? But who knows ??

OP posts:
70kid · 10/04/2022 22:29

I’m the executor of my late parents will
They left half to my sister and half to my son
I am and was perfectly happy for this
Other people are outraged 😂

Yes it’s been a pain sorting everything out but I’m glad that my sister and son will be an excellent position from this gift

LuluBlakey1 · 10/04/2022 22:55

@RedHelenB

Seems unfair on the face of it so I can see their pov.
No one has to leave their estate fairly. Why do you think that? They can leave it to who they wish to leave it to- the person they loved most, or were closest to, or who they think most deserves it or to a charity they are passionate about. They don't have to leave it to anyone.

I know someone who inherited a house from a woman whose hair she had cut for years and was quite friendly with. The woman was single, retired and her family (brother and nieces and nephews) never bothered with her. She became terminally ill and over the couple of years she was ill, her hairdresser looked after her. She left her the house. The family were furious but the will explained clearly why she had decided to do it and had been properly made and the hairdresser knew nothing about it.

A person is entitled to leave their estate as they wish. A husband or wife may well have a claim, a child might but after that the chances of success are reduced. My DH and his sister were left the estate of one of their grandmas. She had two other grandchildren who she had not seen for years and she saw DH and SIL every day while they grew up. My PIL looked after her for many years, living round the corner. She explained why she had made the decision in her will. The cousins were not pleased- although they never went to see her when she was alive- and DH and SIL felt guilty but the solicitor was very firm in saying it was what grandma wanted and she had been very clear about it and was entitled to have her wishes carried out. There was a threat of them contesting it but she wrote a letter of reply to their solicitor explaining the position and it was clear they had no chance of overturning it.

HollowTalk · 10/04/2022 23:06

Had your grandmother fallen out with the others? Did any of them visit her regularly or do anything for her?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 10/04/2022 23:53

Just out of interest, did your DGM have a reason for specifying blood children? Did she have adopted/fostered/step children whom she wanted to differentiate - or others of the generation below her (e.g. friends' children) whom she considered to be as much/more like children to her than her biological ones?

Notsandwiches · 11/04/2022 00:07

@HollowTalk

I think it was a bit unfair for your mum to have to be executor when she wasn't inheriting anything. How does she feel about that, particularly given all the aggravation now?
If mum was a beneficiary she couldn't be executor.
LifeIsHardAlways · 11/04/2022 00:41

@Notsandwiches that isn’t true, you can be a beneficiary and executor

VanGoghsDog · 11/04/2022 01:17

It's a witness to the signature you can't be if you're beneficiary, not executor. It's common practice to leave something to the executor (assuming it's not a bank or solicitor).

MindTheGapMoveAlong · 11/04/2022 01:20

The will sounds perfectly valid and watertight.
Don’t be bullied. Don’t respond to messages or return calls.
Don’t make any offers to the uncles & aunts or even your own mum (though she could claim expenses for dealing with the executor ship - most family executors don’t). Anyone contesting the inheritance will have to go to court for a decision & that costs. They’ll have to put their hands in their pockets and pay up front.
I bet the ones disputing the will didn’t step up to look after your grandmother, or offer you any help, did they?

toomuchlaundry · 11/04/2022 01:34

It is quite common to skip a generation when writing a will but would assume would take into account all grandchildren. I assume in this case she left the house to the GC who looked after her

1forAll74 · 11/04/2022 01:59

I can't tell you how many times I have heard this same story in some familes. where people get all bothered about someone's money and a will etc, and want to contest it etc, Its shocking behaviour from greedy, money wanting individuals.

caringcarer · 11/04/2022 08:44

A will is just that really. It is the wishes of the deceased, what they wish to leave to people. Their money so up to them what they do with it or who they leave it too. Your DGM wanted you and your sister to inherit so don't let jealous relatives get to you. Leave executur and solicitor to deal with it. Screen shot nasty text messages in case it goes to court but as your DGM left notes as to why she did what she did, which shows she was of sound mind, you and your sister will win.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 11/04/2022 11:00

If mum was a beneficiary she couldn't be executor.

Not the case at all - it's very common. It makes sense that your loved ones would be both the ones you wanted to inherit your money AND be the ones you trust to execute your will.

It would probably look suspicious if you used an unrelated solicitor as executor and they also stood to inherit; but having your adult children or grandchildren as executors and beneficiaries is very normal. In fact, being an executor is a big, drawn-out, very time-consuming role that many people would (not unfairly) not be willing to accept if there was nothing it it for them, unless, say, their children did stand to benefit.

intwrferingma · 11/04/2022 19:33

@70kid

I’m the executor of my late parents will They left half to my sister and half to my son I am and was perfectly happy for this Other people are outraged 😂

Yes it’s been a pain sorting everything out but I’m glad that my sister and son will be an excellent position from this gift

You are an excellent person!
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 11/04/2022 20:39

I'm a little surprised at people nominating just one of their children as sole executor. Maybe it's just me, but I'd expect them all to be named, unless any were very much younger, lived abroad, estranged or had a disability/learning difficulty/other condition that would render them unable to do it.

It's not really any of my business at all, but if I were making my will and I had two or three children, all in a position to be able to do it competently, I really can't see why I'd specifically choose just one of them instead of making them joint executors.

Soontobe60 · 11/04/2022 21:36

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I'm a little surprised at people nominating just one of their children as sole executor. Maybe it's just me, but I'd expect them all to be named, unless any were very much younger, lived abroad, estranged or had a disability/learning difficulty/other condition that would render them unable to do it.

It's not really any of my business at all, but if I were making my will and I had two or three children, all in a position to be able to do it competently, I really can't see why I'd specifically choose just one of them instead of making them joint executors.

I’m the executor of my mother’s will. She did also have her sister, my aunt, but she died some years ago. I’d say that for a simple estate, having more than 2 executors could be unnecessary, if not confusing. I do talk everything through with my sister, my brothers couldn’t give a damn what happens though!
VanGoghsDog · 11/04/2022 21:43

My mum has three children. My brother is a useless waste of space and simply would not act, plus he wouldn't behave well and would cause arguments - my mum knows this despite him being the golden child. I don't get on with him but my mum knows I'll just carry out her wishes.

My sister is 9 hours away so not much use, plus dreadful with money and admin, also has CFS so would just spend ages moaning about how much work it was.

So, basically, mum has named me with a cousin as fall back (not acting together, just if I can't act).

I don't think either of my siblings care about not being executor, my mum asked my cousin in front of my brother apparently and he didn't comment on it.

Lollypop701 · 12/04/2022 11:14

Op your dgm left notes to say she understood she was giving the v to other relatives that would expect money with supporting her in her later life… bloody brilliant. I bet you miss her, she sounds like she was a canny lovely lady!

Lollypop701 · 12/04/2022 11:15

Without supporting.. oops

GeorgiaGirl52 · 12/12/2022 01:13

My aunt (who had no children) left her estate to two of her five nieces and her house to one of her eight great-nieces. She had a friend take her to another town and met with a lawyer there. The friend was asked to notify the lawyer when my aunt died.
Six months later, three of the nieces had her declared incompetent, took over her affairs and put her in a nursing home. Two months after that she died. The custodial nieces tried to file the will they had (10 years old) leaving everything divided equally. However the out-of-town lawyer had the more recent will which he filed.
Aunt was very direct about her reasons for the change. Niece#1 had not visited her in three years (lived 12 miles away). Niece #2 had borrowed over $20,000 and paid back $800. Niece #3 had taken/stolen valuable items from aunt's home and sold them on eBay. She left the evidence (IOUs and eBay listings) with the lawyer. He told them if they contested that the executor (Niece #4) could demand repayment of loan etc. to the estate.
They thought they had put one over on her, but my aunt was a smart cookie.
It sounds like your grandmother was too.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/12/2022 01:20

colosmbo · 10/04/2022 19:23

Odd to exclude your mum. Tbh if my mum died & left everything to my dc & excluded my siblings & me I'd find it odd but we do get on.

On the other hand I'd you were 50 with your own home and your kids were 20s and starting life, doesn't it make sense to pass to them directly rather than you holding on to it for 30 years and then going to your kids once they're fully established in life?

felulageller · 12/12/2022 09:17

Are her children married?

I can see why she'd go straight to DGC in case either of her DC's remarried, then died then her inheritance would go to their spouses not her DGC.

It makes perfect sense!

helford · 12/12/2022 09:42

@Lifesforloving1 I was in your situation, fairly recently, mum left entire estate to me, siblings came out with with every allegation going and them both being very wealthy, meant they could take it to court.

However, proving undue influence or the testator not having capacity is extremely difficult...

Undue influence? the main witness is dead.

Capacity? again, so long as on the specific day the solicitor was happy, then the fact they didn't have capacity the following day is irrelevant.... but a wise solicitor will consider capacity, so in my mums case referenced her memory, the reasons she was changing her will and made notes on her sound state of mind.

Only the High Court can hear a Will claim and your family will need at least 100k and if they lose, another 100k to pay your costs, none of these costs can come from the estate, which is another myth.

The block on probate will last 6 months, an individual cannot keep blocking it without good reason (evidence) as you can bring court action against them for doing this needlessly but what my family did was change who blocked probate, starting a new process... in the end, the costs of just using a solicitor was too great.

NWNF ? they can forget that, you might though.

My advice to you is ignore their demands until it goes legal and they start court action.... be very careful who you use, vast majority of solicitors are useless, some i spoke too didn't even understand the law... and have no idea how to defend High Court action, chose one with exp.

Of course all this depends on whether you ever want a relationship with your family, i and my siblings will never speak again, though even if i had changed the will, i think they would have still hated me.

Feel for you, its extremely stressful.

TizerorFizz · 14/12/2022 09:23

@helford
They should have instructed a barrister for you. They go to court regularly.

helford · 14/12/2022 09:37

TizerorFizz · 14/12/2022 09:23

@helford
They should have instructed a barrister for you. They go to court regularly.

@TizerorFizz Sorry i don't understand what you are saying.

Who is "they"?

Why would anyone appointment a barrister to defend a false claim before court action or evidence has commenced/been produced? do you have any idea of the costs involved in using a barrister?

Not all barristers have experience in the high court or in defending against a Will claim either.

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