To cancel holiday and not pay?

[worstnotholiday]

I've got a holiday booked in October. Only booked on 3/3 and paid £120 deposit for four of us. Two adults two children. £230 to be paid every month thereafter. However my circumstances have changed overnight. My husband has left. I have no money. No hope of paying this. Will be waiting the next few weeks to get my uc claim set up and living out of what's in the cupboards till then.

I've just tried to cancel it online and have found that the company want £780 to cancel it?! My insurance apparently want £100 per person for a cancellation claim. I just do not have it. The payment will bounce next week and I'll never be able to pay them either the £400 or the £780 they expect (the whole remaining balance is only £900! If I had £780 I'd be able to find the extra!)

Wtf can I do? Dh will not help me. He's done this in the most cruel way possible and I have no chance of getting a penny out of him. Indeed, I have little chance of even having a roof over mine and the childrens heads come October let alone a fucking holiday. Aibu to think that this is a con? This "debt" will ruin my credit rating. The insurance was rather pointless too. I'm so defeated.

Also your local authority will have a discretionary fund so check that out

He can 'want you out' as much as he likes but that doesn't mean you should get out. What a twat. Just thinking that he can end a marriage and not ever have to support his dc. He must be deluded.

My friends dh left her and four dc and in the same week he wanted half the equity from the house. He honestly thought he was just going to be able to force her to sell the house. He was self employed so fudged his books so he didn't have to pay maintenance. He seemed stunned when her solicitor told him that he wasn't just going to be able to,throw his wife and four dc out on the street.

@worstnotholiday you will have to make this decision for yourself according to what you feel is best and would work in your particular circumstances (of course!), but my children would both have been fine to have been at home by themselves at 12, and they were sometimes left to enjoy being at home in peace whilst I was at work. If your 12 year old is sensible and not an anxious type then they would not necessarily have to be looked after by anyone. However as I said this depends very much on you and on them! Just don’t panic about all the logistics.

Are you in England OP? And are you legally married? (Apologies if I've missed this)

A pre-nup isn't legally binding in England. It's generally taken into account if basic conditions are met ie everyone involved was of sound mind/not under duress at the time & little has changed since it was made. But it will still be discounted if it leaves one party in a marriage seriously financially disadvantaged relative to the other upon divorce. If there have been major changes in the marriage - most particularly children being born - it will likely be set aside. No judge will honour the detail of a pre-nup that leaves an ex-husband loaded & an ex-wife & children destitute.

Please seek quality legal advice as soon as you can.

All the best to you

As said above...
A prenup in UK law is not automatically legally binding but will be upheld by a court so long as it meets the qualifying criteria, which have been set by the Supreme Court and further reviewed by the Law Commission:

The agreement must be freely entered into.
Both parties must understand the implications of the agreement.
The agreement must be fair.
The agreement must be contractually valid.
The agreement must have been made at least 28 days before the wedding.
There should be disclosure about the wider financial circumstances.
Both parties must have received legal advice.
It should not prejudice any children
Both parties' needs must be met

Definitely get the legal advice

@worstnotholiday the thread has evolved but to address the earlier point about the T&Cs of the booking: please ring the supplier tomorrow earliest to tell them that:

You have been abandoned & are without money;
You do not yet have any income from UC;
You can not make the next payment at all nor will you be able to in the future;
I am worried sick, this affecting my MH;
What can you (holiday provider) do to help me ?

It is a brief call, although you may be in a queue to speak to a human.
Inform them that you cannot pay at all as you now have no income or assets to meet the original contract. Get this logged & follow up in email to confirm.

What they do for you IDK. But it less likely that they will chase you if they know up front that you are very unlikely to pay & already this is affecting your MH. You may come to some form of agreement.

If they play nasty, look into Citizens Advice Bureau or Christian Against Poverty helping you to reschedule this a debt, minimising any payment or at a push cancelling the debt.

Who is the ‘Lead Passenger’ on the holiday booking?

@worstnotholiday. Just reading through the thread.

What a fucking bastard he is!
Plus his enabling parents.

He’s tried to stitch you up & punish you by his mealy-mouthed tight-fisted inadequacies.

MNetters are a remarkable source of practical advice, heroic grit, tough life survivors & coruscating commenters - truly a nest of vipers on your side.

You are not alone in this.

Before I take a big deep breath & return to the thread.

As a priority, finding a shit hot family law specialist is the best investment of your time you will make.

The financial element may be covered for you if the practice accepts Legal Aid clients or does pro bono work.

Why if you are poor are you to be denied recourse or the protection of the law? Particularly if there are children involved ? This is why we have a legal aid system & some lawyers work pro bono. Hence with a calm mind, determination & the resource below, look for a family law specialist to help you

solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

Don’t over think if you qualify or deserve a lawyer to help you - just get this ball rolling.

You are in shock & with kindness I say that you are in shock & likely catastrophising your circumstances. Tomorrow morning hit the phone, ring round the family law specialists, particularly any doing legal aid, in your area - see link above & image attached.

It may be that you cannot find a Legal Aid solicitor near you, so when you ring round local family law specialists, explain your circumstances as other arrangements may be possible.

He is relying on you being passive, worn down & ready to pluck/cherry pick what he wants. Get legal advice so that you are far better informed & in a better tactical position to resist.

Putting the holiday to one side, you need to see a solicitor.

To correct some of the comments on this thread, the courts will uphold a pre-nup provided certain conditions are met (both sides receiving independent legal advice, full financial disclosure, neither side signing under duress). However, even if the conditions are met, they will overturn it if the result is clearly unfair int he circumstances. Given that there are children involved, if the agreement leaves you and your children destitute the courts will throw it out. His actions designed to deliberately impoverish you (not paying bills, taking a mortgage holiday and then refusing to pay the mortgage, etc.) will also go down badly with the courts. You may be in a much stronger position than you think.

I note that, while I was typing that, someone has posted about legal aid. For clarity, legal aid is only available if the case involves domestic abuse (which includes financial abuse), child abduction or you are at risk of homelessness. However, even if you don't qualify for legal aid, you may find a lawyer who is happy to wait until the divorce is finalised so that you can pay them from the financial settlement.

So sorry you are going through this.

I haven't read through all of the comments, so apologies if this has already been mentioned. I work for a water company and they have a team dedicated to people who are struggling financially, often due to a life change etc. They can offer discounted water tariffs etc. So, if you haven't already, I would contact all of your utility providers to explain the situation, tell them you will not be able to afford the bills and ask what support they are able to offer.

Don't forget other support too, such as:
Citizens Advice
Food bank
EAP (if your employer has one)

Things seem bad now but you can make it through the other side xx

He's a total arsehole OP. Good luck.

I think the line to take is to repeat and emphasise that you and your children have been abandoned by this man, who has plotted and planned to leave you destitute. He'll probably try to play a line you're some kind of gold digger and of course that's why he had to have the pre nup, but remember it's all bs and won't wash. He has abandoned his kids and is attempting to dodge his responsibilities to them. It's not a good look.

@worstnotholiday I'm si sorry you are going through this.

Firstly, contact all the mortgage/utility companies and explain the situation. Some if them can help.

Co tact the council,and ask if there already hardship funds or similar. I work as a housing officer and we have even allocated LIADS of money to help people, as has a neighbouring department. They are giving out money for all manner of things, not means tested. And the mo ey has given to be spent.

Look up your local assistance scheme (ours comes up under Norfolk assistance scheme ) and "local area" Borough charity.

Forget the holiday, I cant imagine they'll chase you.

I know you’ve said you can’t afford a lawyer but honestly you can’t afford to not have a legal expert on your side.

The fact there are now children and his actions prior to leaving intended to leave you destitute means he has very likely nullified the pre-nup you signed. He's very likely shot himself in the foot on that one. I think you are in a much stronger position that you think you are

As a holiday cottage owner I am sorry this has happened to you - I would carry on fighting for a refund. T&Cs have to be fair and this does not seem to meet that definition. If you have legal advice attached to your household insurance policy I would contact them and see what they say.

I do not accept bookings via an agent so I have the final say on refunds and in this case I would definitely have refunded as you wanted to cancel so soon after booking and I would have plenty of time to resell the dates.

It's always worth trying to book direct with the owner - not only does it cut out the booking fees and get you a better deal but most of us are generally very reasonable when "life happens".

Can you ask to move the holiday to another year? I did this in similar circumstances and they waved any rearrangement fee

You need to report ur card lost/stolen so that they cannot take any money from the card.

Hi OP,

We are very sorry to see that you are experiencing this. We are going to move this to Legal as you may be able to get some helpful responses to help you navigate this time.

Do let us know if there is any other way we can help.

What a total, total shit!

OP you must have good legal aid, even if you go deeper into debt for it. If the worst happens, well insolvent is insolvent but a good lawyer may stop it coming to that.

Short-term - how many bedrooms does your house have? Move yourself and the girls into the biggest and let out the others to make the mortgage payments (my mum did this years ago when my dad was sent to prison and she too was suddenly left w no money, no job, 2 tiny children and all the bills to pay)

Just posting again in case you didn’t see this earlier - I’d definitely recommend going to Citizens Advice Bureaux to get a financial health check. You’ve had some good tips here but they are expert at maximising your income and minimising your outgoings. You also need legal advice regarding getting a decent financial settlement especially since it sounds your OH will not play fair. CAB may be able to help with legal representation (some have that expertise others do not) or they may be able to help you find someone locally.

Bloody hell OP, he sounds like the lowest of the low. Listen to the knowledgeable posters on here, but absolutely agree you need a full time job, 8 year olds can go to after school care and in a situation like this your 12 year old will need to be responsible at home. You need to increase your income.

Op, I am appalled at his calculated behaviour, what an absolute shit he is.
I used to work in the High Court and would say to you do not leave your home! To get you out is very difficult, and I have seen cases where it has taken at least a year from a Mortgage company starting repossession proceedings to the actual occupants being evicted. Remember that with two DC's if you are evicted the LA has an obligation to house you.
My instinct is that your H and his parents have been too clever by half. Assuming that you are in the UK a pre-nup is a very dodgy area especially as you have two children, a good solicitor may be able to find you a barrister who would act on a pro bono basis as to challenge a pre-nup in this country is pretty unique and a useful experience, should it all go to Court.
I feel so sorry for you, I found the way he had decieved you and your DC's absolutely appalling, please look after yourself and keep us all updated (perhaps start a thread on the Relatioships Board)
Good Luck, there are many of us out here thinking of you