Please help - threats and intimidation from builder

[cowcreamer]

I'm not sure where to start really or exactly what I hope to get out of this - I just wonder if anyone can offer any insight into my situation or advice on how to proceed. I'll try to be brief.

We had an extension built Jan -April this year. Throughout the build the relationship with the builder broke down completely as he got furious with us for ever questioning or complaining about anything. At the end of of the build he sent us a final invoice but we sent back a snagging list and also the requirement for a building control inspection (having found out he had not organised any of the interval inspections with building control).

He went mad at us and started making threats if we don't pay him all the money and has carried out some of these threats including contacting my place of work and telling them I am mentally unstable and have post natal depression and am aggressive and volatile (our second child was born during the build and we also have a 22 month old), he contacted social services and told them the same, that we were a risk to our children and my husband is abusive. He contacted the GMV and told them I was not safe to see patients (I am a doctor). He has threatened to contact my husband employers with similar and also my Dad's. He has threatened to send bailiffs round. He has told us he wants us to lose everything including our home. Just for the record there is absolutely no basis to any of his assertions about our character.

I reported it to the police over a week ago and they said they would serve him with a harassment notice but they still haven't done it, the harassment is ongoing and they told me to log it all with 101 which I do but I'm worried I'm in danger of harassing them about it! I haven't heard back from the original officer who is supposed to serve the order.

Yesterday a surveyor came around and basically it turns our all our worst fears are realised and the builder has cut lots of corners, it is going to costs a significant sum to fix and there is a chance he hasn't dug the foundations deep enough in which case it might all have be ripped down and started again. The builder doesn't know this yet but he will in due course. You would think it might stop him going on the offensive but I'm not so sure.

We have a solicitor and he keeps mentioning 'my solicitor' in his emails but he clearly hasn't got legal advice because we have never received anything from his solicitor, he has ignored repeated requests for him to tell us who they are and there is no way any solicitor would condone the things he is doing.

I'm so worried on so many levels but my main concerns are:
If we need to try and recover a significant sum from him to fix it all, will he be able to just dissolve his company to avoid paying the debt? The contract was with his company but the money went into his personal bank account if that makes any difference.

My solicitor is talking about defamation proceedings to stop his constant attempts to destroy me professionally - has anyone ever been through this - is it expensive? Lengthy? I just want this man out of our lives. I feel so stupid for ever letting him in - I think we have made every mistake in the book.

Does anyone have any advice, comments, been through similar? I know no magic bullet can take this all away but I would love some reassurance that there is a way out. Thanks

No advice but this sounds horrendous.

You may have been naive (not stupid) but he has done something illegal and needs taking down. Not only has he constructed an illegal building he is now illegally harassing you. You are in the right and you must get legal advice. Yes it might be expensive but so will taking down or rectifying his shoddy work.

Be brave and take him down before he does it to someone else.

...too many 'take him down's. I'd be useless on Just A Minute!

Thanks both. We have legal advice regarding the buildings dispute but I think he feels a bit out of his depth given how the builder is going about things. It's impossible to have any sort of rational communication with him and I think out solicitor is often left thinking WTF?!

I know armchair mental health diagnoses get thrown about a bit on mumsnet but if you look up narcissistic personality disorder it describes this guy to an absolute tee. It's scary because he has no moral compass and seems to be in some weird fantasy world where he thinks he can destroy us - and will stop at nothing to do it.

this sounds awful but it seems like you are doing all the right things with getting an inspection and a solicitor.

I'm surprised the police haven't done anything yet. Maybe contact them again and explain you are concerned about how things might escalate.

With regards to getting your money back. I have friends who successfully took a builder through a small claims court. The process was pretty stressful and because the builder couldn't afford to pay them straight away the pay is in instalments which are something like '£100 a month over the next X many years'. However now they have the hassle of chasing the guy whenever he doesn't pay, and 1-2years down the line are having to go to the effort of getting baliffs involved.

What percentage of the payment have you held back? You might be better trying to go through mediation for me to agree to waiver the remaining amount rather than have to go to court.

Hi thanks. We have kept back nearly 20% of the total fee but unfortunately I think it's going to cost a lot more than that to fix it all.

Even so, if we could get him to agree to just call it quits and for him to stop his campaign of abuse I most definitely would. But I have a feeling he will just continue.

Also if anyone has any advice on how best to navigate with the police or try and get them to act a bit quicker but without making a nuisance of myself I'd be grateful!

This sounds horrendous!

I'm sure you've already got this covered, but does he promote himself as being part of any professional trades organisation?

He's batshit! What a nightmare. Keep on at the police.

I hope this is resolved for you soon

Report him to HMRC for tax fraud. That'll keep him busy for a while. And if he's doing this to you he'll have done it to other people so will have no idea who's reported him.

If you pm me his company name.........

Haha! Soooo tempting although I really don't want to put a foot wrong so that he has absolutely no recourse if it does come to court. I wouldn't be surprised if the tax fraud bit was true though...

That sounds so dreadful.

I have had a lot of work done to properties in the past, and I am a contracts lawyer (though I am on maternity at the moment). People in the past have asked me about what to do in relation to builders and contracts for work at home, and my advice has always been trust your intuition about who the builder is as a person, make sure you trust them, look into the whites of their eyes or whatever the expression is, because the relationship (and their competence) is more important than the contract.

In your shoes I would probably put your and your family's emotional needs first, accept it is highly unlikely you are going to get the money you need out of him and if you pursue it and take him down it will cost you financially and emotionally, potentially, so let it go, get someone to come and sort out the house and try to distance yourself from him, and take the cost on the chin. The idea of "taking him down" sounds great, but I personally would put my dc and peace of mind first. However, some people have the opposite view and want legal recourse.

In relation to the defamation and the allegations, that sounds so stressful, but hopefully it will be clear to everyone that he was being malicious - I think it is worth contacting a defamation lawyer and getting advice about whether any action would achieve what you want, and for you also to find out if it would be helpful for you to get it on record that he was being malicious and how. Presumably what you want is for him to leave you alone and it might be that a court action would achieve the opposite - I don't know. I am assuming that is your motivation and that you aren't seeking damages.

If he is not a great builder and this is how he behaves when challenged, it is unlikely he would have money to pay damages or the remediation work required.

It sounds really stressful, I hope it all works out.

First of all, chase up with the police. Yes they are busy, the more you chase them the more you will be heard.

Secondly, you have the option of the civil route. This means taking out an injunction against him. On this order, there can be the option of if he breaches it, it then becomes criminal and he will (should) be arrested.
You can do this without it costing the earth and relatively quickly. I would talk to your solicitor about this (I am surprised they have not recommended it) otherwise, have them recommend someone within their firm or locally that can deal with it if it is not his area of expertise.
I would do all this NOW. Do not underestimate what he may be capable of. You need to protect yourselves and your family.

I owned a company that dealt with many, many builders over the years. Let it go, do not throw good money after bad. He will declare bankruptcy then set up again the next day.

Thanks very much all for your considered advice. i totally agree with the family more important than money sentiment. And I would only consider chasing him for the money if a) it turns out to be a very last sum and b) my solicitor felt confident we would be able to actually recover some funds (chances are slim however, we have discovered that his business is not registered so he would be personally liable).

I continue to chase the police and now have been given the email address of the PS who is the supervisor of the PC dealing with the case and have emailed him today.

My solicitor took advice from a barrister re going down the civil route - apparently it would be a no go as (at present) his actions are not causing us financial loss, and even though his actions are prejudicial (i'm learning all the lingo) they are not having the desired outcome ie the mud is not sticking and no-one believes him. Therefore the advice was that the civil route would be expensive and not necessarily fruitful.

@xobni I must have terrible intuition because I really did trust this guy at first. He seemed so personable and intelligent. We had two long meetings before we employed him, spoke to previous clients (or were they?) etc. How wrong I was.

Hi @cowcreamer I know you posted this a very long time ago, but on the off chance you pick this up I wondered whether this builder was based in Bradford please? Many thanks

I would try trading standards

there are some builders who have gone to jail for ripping off customers AND there may be other consequences eg banned from being a company director

Thinking about it what about your Insurers Medical Defence etc could they help?

Hello! No this was in West London but I think there are lots of them about sadly. Sorry if you are going through something similar x There's every chance he has moved I suppose. His initials are J P-H.

Medical defence couldn't help as it wasn't actually related to patient care.

If anyone wants an update: eventually the police caught up with him (the officer dealing with the case was on holiday for 2 weeks hence the delay!) and the harassment stopped overnight. Not before he also made malicious complaints to social services though about the safety of our children (not sure if I included that before). They investigated and it was all fine but horribly stressful at the time.

He also threatened my father and threatened to make false claims to his place of work (he is a fairly prestigious professor so he clearly thought he was low hanging fruit).

We spent the next few years slowly fixing the extension, it cost 10's of thousands of pounds which we borrowed from my parents (thank god we even. had that option). We then sold the house and moved somewhere that needed no work and even though it was our first house and the one when both our children were born, I felt nothing but relief when we left.

We never pursued him in court because we were advised that we'd just spend lots of money and although we would clearly win, he had no assets and would simply not pay us. I couldn't contemplate prolonging the nightmare and also what he might be prepared to do if he felt attacked so we walked away for our sanity and the safety of our family.

We have since heard about mutliple other people he has screwed over and have even been contacted by a journalist to tell our story but after much much MUCH thought declined as did not want to poke the bear. He's a dangerous psychopath? sociopath? narcissist? I don't know but he doesn't have any boundaries or morals so I didn't want to test them.

I can't believe people can get away with this in this country but here we are.

In the USA & Australia builders have to be licensed - it has been considered here but as usual our Governments are spineless.

Your builder sounds like a case for a secure hospital

Thank you so much for your reply and your update@cowcreamer I'm pleased that you have managed to find some peace after the long journey and move on with a fresh start 🤗 It's so sad when you trust someone with your home to end up in such an upsetting situation.
We are going through very similar situation but he's not contacted our employers. Instead he's going down the route of threats to rip it all out unless we pay him more money, and today threatened my partner.
We've been advised to get a Part 35 report done, which is going to cost a few thousand £s, but will give us some peace of mind that we can get then get new builders in without original builder claiming to have done the work himself.
Builder has ignored structural calculations, largely winged it & quickly covered things up, and still refuses to send his' evidence' to the building inspector and yet still demanding we pay him more money to cover his costs. He still continues to claim he's laid the new loft floor onto a load bearing wall, despite it clearly being sat on a first floor 1960s partition wall with no wall underneath it downstairs and no steels to support🤦🏻‍♀️
We're still early days of trying to figure things out, but keeping fingers and toes crossed that we can still afford to fix our house and make it a home again 🤞🏻

That sounds so incredibly stressful. I'm so sorry. He sounds cut from exactly the same cloth as our builder. I don't understand how people are prepared to so openly rip people off. And then take the aggressive route when called out on it. It's really quote terrifying.

I really hope you situation resolved soon x x