Could I contest "D"H's will?

[MrShitsWife]

We've been married over 25 years, four children (teens to early twenties) and have accumulated a large number of assets. For the first 15 years I was the main breadwinner and dh concentrated on doing up our homes and his own job/hobby. Ten years ago the company I worked for closed and the only work for me was on contract in the the far east, as my area is very specialised. With young children I didn't want to away for protracted lengths of time, and as childcare was becoming increasingly difficult (nannies didn't want four young children when they could have a baby and a toddler) we decided I'd become a SAHM.

It's been pretty shit. Dh has resented giving me any money for housekeeping, never mind clothes etc, and I ended up doing various jobs to supplement the odd £20 he'd give me. This was not helped by a very nasty legal case we were fighting which could have resulted in our losing our house. Anyway by 2010 that was resolved and our main asset started to give a good income. Money still was given very begrudgingly but my menial job had turned into quite a successful business, enough to at least put food on the table etc.

In 2012 I was rung up by one of my in-laws to be told I should be aware of my husband's will, it was written in such a way as to leave me very little. Our main asset is left to the children, all "D"H's hobby stuff is split between two of the children and I am left with the remainder, but out of that remainder I have to pay the inheritance tax due on the assets the children have inherited. This would mean I'd have to sell all remaining assets, including the family home, and would just have enough left to buy something considerably smaller, but no income etc.

I saw a divorce lawyer at the time, and felt much better regarding what would happen in the case of divorce, but they were not able to comment on the will as a) they were not probate specialists and b) I had copied it without dh's knowledge.

Things have moved on since then, dh has been a bit better, I'm now allowed 8% of the income, and no longer have to beg for it, but the main asset is now worth 65% of the total, so I shall be in a pretty bad situation if he were to die.

So, after this epic post, could I contest the will? Would this mean it would be me v the children, not something I'd really want. This has come to a head now as part of the asset is being sold and dh is putting the money into something else which he plans to leave solely to our son. It is not going to be in joint names (according to dh, I'm planning on fighting this and have seen a solicitor again). The main asset is not in joint names, I stupidly went along with dh at the time of its purchase, and he's refused to put it in joint names since.

I know a lot of the above is much more to do with relationships, but I'd really like to get he will bit clear in my mind. Sorry for the epic length.

Nothing useful to add, but divorce. What a horrible man!

It's not true that all beneficiaries have to agree for a will to be varied - it is only those affected by the variation.
So, for example, my grandmother left all her jewellery to and everything else (which was only cash) to my father. He varied the will to pass the cash on. I, the only other beneficiary, did not have to agree to this or even know.
And I don't know what he did, I only know what I got as a result of it. I have no idea what my father may have given my siblings or cousins (we don't talk).

The way, for information, this 'avoids' inheritance tax is not direct. The tax is still payable by the original Estate if it is over the limit (grandmother's was not, Cameron's dad's probably was).
The way the tax is avoided is by skipping a generation. For example, my father is probably worth the best part of a million, so his estate will pay inheritance tax. There was zero point him increasing his estate by the £250k my grandmother left as that would just make his estate bigger and more tax to pay when he dies. And he doesn't need the money (obviously).

So, passing it down to me who does not have a huge Estate means his estate doesn't suffer the tax when he does.
It is possible to do this via a gift but if the donor dies within seven years some or all of the amount is included in the original Estate so the inheritance tax is still due.
The deed of variation of the will prevents that happening.
The govt has actually said they want to abolish the ability to do this, I think they started consultation on it a couple of years ago but they've not done it yet.

I agree get all evidence of assets. If he won't make provision for you in his will, he sure as hell is not going to be financially reasonable in the event of divorce (speaking from experience).

If he did die and even if you get your fair share by appealing the will (whatever the term is) - there could be repercussions in the future with the DCs.
It might seem that they will happily hand over a fair share to you but money does funny things and imagine in 10 years time now adult DC has financial difficulties. The fact that 'Mum took my share of Dad's money' or similar might be brought up. Or if one gets more than the other it could cause friction between them in later years.
Arguments about money can cause splits in families.