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Original poster

Surname change for my 4 year old

38 replies

oopsadaisyme · 02/05/2014 22:55

This is a bit complicated, so bear with me:

My now 4 year old's birth cert is his fathers surname

His father now using his original surname, his actual fathers, as I now find out my son was registered in his step fathers name!?

Both me and my eldest have my surname, and I have requested the school use my surname as his 'known by name' - which they have done

We have no contact with 'Dad' anymore, he is not using the surname my son was registered with, so I don't see any problem with me legally changing his name to mine and his brothers?

So how can I change it officially??

OP posts:
Original poster
oopsadaisyme · 14/05/2014 07:29

Not that easy as I know his work helping him 'hide' - have enquired about child support, and they said they can do a 'collect' service but will charge me for it, and will be more hassle than it' worth -

My son is 4, I can't believe what he has done tbh, but did the same to his previous wife and 2 children (even found out he has another child who now 17 that she didn't even know about)

I just want my son in our name now

OP posts:
nomoretether · 14/05/2014 07:41

Are you not going through the CSA?

Original poster
oopsadaisyme · 14/05/2014 07:51

Nomore I did make an initial claim through CMS, but stopped as he disappeared off the planet - my fault, re-opening today, but because of his profession they are saying it will be difficult to get anything off him, and will charge me for a 'collect' service??

OP posts:
Collaborate · 14/05/2014 08:24

I don't get this concept some people have about a change of name can be informal and therefore consent of all with PR is not necessary. I agree with everything PRH has posted. The law says simply that you cannot exercise certain rights conferred on a parent with PR without the consent of the other. Change of name is one of those, as is change of school or removal from the country.

Original poster
oopsadaisyme · 14/05/2014 08:35

Collab so a father that has totally disowned his 4 year old son, has rights??? or if I was to change his school or move country I would need to contact him?? How on earth do you contact someone that does not want to be contacted? Or have to ask permission from??

OP posts:
ScarletButterfly · 14/05/2014 08:54

I'm currently going through this, but mine is much simpler as birth father previously signed a statutory declaration giving consent for various things, including name change by deed poll. Even if you can get a deed poll form without the letter of consent, it is not valid. Applying for the deed poll itself may not be the issue, the issue is that wherever you go with the deed poll form (schools, doctors, passport office etc) they all have to be certain that you had consent to change the name in the first place or else they shouldn't use it. As previously mentioned, you can apply to the courts for permission, and they will most likely grant it as long as you can prove you have tried to contact the father. Personally I would send a letter to his last known address by recorded delivery, maybe contact his parents or siblings, emails if you have previous email addresses? The court or a solicitor should be able to advise what steps have to be taken to prove you have tried to contact him.

Original poster
oopsadaisyme · 14/05/2014 09:02

scarlet thanks - I have spoken to a solicitor an he told me would cost a fortune - as long as I have something for him to sign I will go to his work address and get him to sign myself - I do not want to approach him, but it is so important for us

OP posts:
Meglet · 14/05/2014 09:08

Marking my place. XP is long gone (nothing in 5yrs) and wouldn't allow me to change the dc's names out of spite but intial enquiries have established that the courts may allow me to double barrel the dc's names without their dad being involved (it's not safe to track him down). I had some involvement from the police and WA so have records of why he went and when.

It's different if you wish to totally remove the dads name and they have contact though.

One day I'll have the guts to fill out the forms, spend the money and try it.

LocalEditorWiganandSalford · 14/05/2014 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meglet · 14/05/2014 09:10

And I believe that a 'dad' who was abusive and has been gone for 2/3 years should have PR removed. He wouldn't recognise his kids in a line up so shouldn't have any say whatsoever in their lives.

ScarletButterfly · 14/05/2014 09:17

Meglect- I'm not entirely sure, because as I said, my situation is relatively simple now, but could you not apply to the courts without proving you have tried to contact him on the basis that he has no contact, and trying to track him down would be dangerous? If there is proof that he is a danger to either you or your LO, they can't expect you to contact him and surely policies will be in place to deal with that?

LocalEditorWiganandSalford · 14/05/2014 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meglet · 14/05/2014 09:18

local yes, same here Sad. If we found xp and asked him he would be livid I'm doing ok and raise hell again. It's safer to keep my head down.

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