Ah. Well if you don't know what you want, I am not surprised that you are having difficulties working with your legal team. It is very hard to represent a client who cannot say what they want to achieve.
Don't be put off by thinking you can only discuss what is legally achievable. That is their job to explain that to you. Tell them what you WANT, even if it sounds nonsense. Then you can work towards each other and hopefully find a middle way that at least gives you something you can work with.
Reading between the lines, you appear to be saying, your ex is a twat and has behaved in twattish ways and lost your trust. What you WANT is for him to become a nice, kind, trustworthy person.
Obviously there is nothing the courts can do to give you what you want - a twat will remain a twat I am afraid.
But what your team CAN achieve for you is a clear order, with clear boundaries and clear consquences for breaching those boundaries. Thus ex remains a twat, but within parameters that you understand and you can control to some extent.
I hope that makes sense.
I often ask my clients, if I had a magic wand and could get them whatever they want, what would they ask for? That is our starting point. But if they don't understand from me the difference between what they WANT and what they are likely to GET, then I have failed in my job.