Daughter been charged with Theft breached of trust, any ideas on likely outcome please?

[charliebird1979]

Ok this is really hard for me but here goes.

My daughter has been charged with theft breach of trust. She is a single mum currently seriously struggling financially. She is living with her 2 year old son in temporary housing and was facing homelessness. I'm not saying that this is an excuse, i'm just trying to give you all the facts.

She stole £800 in cash and around a £1000 worth of jewellery from her grandmother (my mother). She took the jewellery because she knew that her grandmother would be able to claim it on the insurance. She used the money to pay off housing debt in order to keep a roof over her and her son's head.

She had previously gone to her grandmother and begged her for help but her grandmother refused despite being extremely well off. My daughter then tried to obtain loans before she took the money and jewellery out of desperation.

I have begged my mother to drop the charges but she is refusing to and my daughter is now terrified of what sentences she might face and whether she will lose her little boy.

My daughter has no previous convictions at all, infact she has been the victim of serious crime. She works with disabled children for a living and this recent incident was completely out of character and done out of sheer desperation.

I am so torn out of love for her and my mother. Whilst my daughter did something terribly wrong, I also blame my mother for not helping her. I can understand why my daughter did what she did because I believe most of us would do anything to keep a roof over our children's heads.

Does anyone know how long she is likely to go to prison for? Will she lose her child?

Thank you in advance

[TheCraicDealer]

I don't understand why you asked her to leave tbh, knowing she'd struggle on her own. How can you lambast your mother for not looking out for your daughter when you asked her to leave your house with pretty much nowhere else to go?

I appreciate your DD has had a rough time, and I wish her all the best.

[charliebird1979]

shootingstars she had most of the jewelley and has returned it but she sold some. She admitted to this and gave the police the receipt for £800.

colditz I agree that i'm a terrible mother and that I should've let her stay with me but it was too much having her and her son in my house. He was keeping me up in the night.

iloveshortshorts thank you so much, that does make me feel a little better.

quietlysuggests Thank you for all your advice.

Just feel I should add that she has pleaded guilty to all charges and has been honest and upfront throughout the investigation.

[WTFisABooyhoo]

i'm with colditz

there seems to be a lot of blame being dished out to other people, her grandmother, the lodge not helping her but actually OP you are part of the reason why she was in such a terrible situation.

i'm not saying you did the right or wrong thing asking her to leave. but i also dont think that you can say your reasons for not helping her are perfectly valid but her grandmothers reasons are not!

[ShootingStarsss]

You say in your op you blame your mother for not helping your daughter but if you hadn't of made her leave she would never of been in that situation.

I feel very sorry for your daughter & grandson & I can also see how your daughter has got into this situation, she was desperate

[charliebird1979]

OK everyone I am a terrible mother, there you go i've said it and admitted it!

Now please could we go back to what I have actually asked about which is what sentence is she likely to get and will she lose her son?!

[ShootingStarsss]

Sorry op I don't mean to be harsh but just feel you could help your daughter a little more.

She won't loose her son and as others have said I think it will be a fine and community service, obviously it's up to the law though.

[soapboxqueen]

The sentencing guidelines can be vague so they can allow for the particulars of the crime e.g. why a sentence my be extended or shortened due to the seriousness or other mitigating factors. As others have said, if it is a first offence, without any intimidation or violence, I wouldn't imagine that she will be given a custodial sentence. However, she may well lose her job as she is in a position of trust. Not many people would feel that a person who could steal from an elderly person was trust worthy enough to be around vulnerable adults.

As much as you feel she has "mitigating factors", she stole from someone else. It does not matter if her grandmother could afford it or not. It is still theft. Yes her grandmother could have helped her but she is under no obligation to, even if it does make her not very nice. Doesn't mean she deserves to be stolen from.

[starfishmummy]

I suspect her job will be at risk. She may be very good at it but someone working with disabled children needs to be 100% trustworthy.

[iloveshortshorts]

Its good that she plead guilty, they will take it all in to account (first conviction, she has a job, she has a child, even turning up on time when she goes to court) when sentencing.

Her solicitor will have to tell her the absolute worse outcome (they have too) i.e she might go prison, but i doubt she will.

[Repeatedlydoingthetwist]

I am actually gobsmacked. I completely second everything that Colditz said. Who are you to judge your own mother for not helping when it sounds to me like you've done bugger all to help her yourself?! Especially with the other factors you have mentioned - you knew what she'd been through but couldn't let the two of them stay with you because you were being kept up at night?! Wow.

[Viviennemary]

I think it's pretty despicable to steal from a grandmother. Still I hope your daughter has learned her lesson. A community service order will probably be given in her case. And she won't lose her child. And I don't think her grandmother is under any obligation to give money. I'm sorry you are facing this difficult situation.

[iloveshortshorts]

charli you are not a terrible mum as you have come here and asked for advice which shows you care.

Your daughter made the decision to take from your mum she is not a horrible person (from what you say) she just made a very bad decision. x

[waltermittymissus]

You've some cheek, slagging off your mother!

You should be ashamed of how you've treated your dd and gs.

[BettySuarez]

Sorry but I'm another one who thinks far too many excuses are being made here.

The jewellery was old
My mother is well off and has savings
not to mention 'my daughter is a rape victim'

What kind of excuse is that?

[QuintessentialOHara]

As far as mothers go, you have behaved disgracefully to your daughter.

I hope you have learnt a lesson when you realize that you kicking out your daughter and her child, because the child kept you awake, has resulted in her losing her job.

Shame on you. I hope you finally get your sleep, now that your child and grandchild are on the streets.

[charliebird1979]

"Done bugger all to help her myself!?" I let them live with me for 18 months!!!!!

And yes I begrudge being kept up in the night when I have to be up at 6 and work a 12 hr day! You try living like that when you're my age!

She won't come back and live with me anyway, she hardly talks to me which is unsurprising as i'm a cruel, wicked mother.

Also yes my mother shouldn't be under any obligation to give money but I do think she could've been a bit more sympathetic, especially as there is a small child involved.

[NorthernLurker]

I'm with Colditz too. You had room in your house for your child and her child and you wouldn't let her stay. Your daughter, the single parent, victim of domestic abuse and rape. No wonder she stole from your mother. What family feeling could the lass be expected to have?

I hope you and your mother have been in touch with her solicitor. Your behaviour is, frankly, some small degree of mitigation for her.

[charliebird1979]

Once again can people only post if they have some genuine advice please?

We've established that i'm an awful mother and i'm not a troll! I just want advice on what sentence she might get.

Please don't post if you are just going to be nasty. That's not what mumsnet is about.

[YoniMaroney]

Your age? You appear to be 33. Not exactly old.

And acting like a 10 year old tb.

[YoniMaroney]

Sentencing guidelines: sentencingcouncil.judiciary.gov.uk/docs/MCSG_Update9_October_2012.pdf

[QuintessentialOHara]

Why do you care what the sentence may be?

Trying to work out whether you can cope with the child for a couple of weeks, or whether you shall aim to have the child taken in to care?

[charliebird1979]

1979 is not my birth year.

[NorthernLurker]

Youve had your advice on sentencing. Repeatedly posters have told you she's unlikely to go to prison. Which frankly doesn't let you off the hook. That's not 'being nasty' that's being honest.

Impressive you can work a 12 hour day btw - with your lack of energy and your athritis.

[crazynanna]

I usually,on stories like this, like to see both sides.

But I,too,am finding the part a bit difficult to understand where you didn't let your daughter and grandson stay with you for a while.

My dd1 and her dh, some years ago,found themselves homeless quite suddenly (their rental was repossessed), and I had them, with my 3 grandchildren under 4 years of age at the time, stay with me and dd2 in our very small 2 bed flat. I slept on dd2's floor doe 8 weeks, whilst the 5 of them had my larger bedroom. It was cramped. It was noisy. It was,at times, stressful. But in my wildest dreams, I could not ever see me not doing it...and would do it again in a heartbeat.