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Original poster

well off to court for him to force the sale of the house

56 replies

Happylander · 20/07/2012 20:35

Well my ex has been threatening to do this and I have finally had a solicitors letter stating that I have 28 days to reply to say that I can get mortgage in my own name (I can't) or that I have found someone to come on the mortgage with me (I haven't) or that I have put the house up for sale (no I haven't).

He does not pay anything towards it, did not contribute any deposit and has left me with debts. His sole reason for forcing this sale is because he does not want his name on it. I don't want him on it. He is nightmare with money but I can't do anything about it right now and I don't want to sell this house it used to be my Nan's.

The best part though is his solicitor tells me I have to pay him rent because 'you continue to live in the property to his exclusion' he left this house to go be with OW!!!

Can I seriously be expected to pay him rent?? Is he going to win??

I have been crying all day about this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 09:48

No he doesn't want to buy with her as he is in the Army and moves every few years they are moving into rented accommodation next month. She also owns her own flat that she rents out. It is purely that he wants his name off as he does not want any connection to me!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/07/2012 09:50

How much is the mortgage in total and how much compensation are you due to get, would that be enough to pay more off and get the mortgage in your name only?

Honestly I'd put it on the market and just erm not sell it, tell him that getting his name off the mortgage will happen as soon as the house is sold...

No-one can force you to accept a low offer on it!

RandomMess · 21/07/2012 10:01

Also could you get a lodger in? If it's only 2 bed you could share your room with ds???

It sounds as though you are desperate to keep the house for sentimental reasons. (Completely resonable)

If that means paying him some rent to get him to shut the f*ck up until you can get his name off the mortgage then I'd do whatever I can to do it.

Just thought if you rented a room out, it would pay for his 18% of the rent (!) plus gave you some more money to save to put with your compensation to reduce the mortgage amount so that you can have it in your name only.

Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 10:03

Thing is though he will then take me to court for not actively trying to sell it and being obstructive. Plus if it isn't the house he will then move onto something else to take me to court for. He seems to enjoy this well him and his toxic family.

He has two ex's and neither of us have a good relationship with him and he has treated us with both the same kind of contempt. Apparently though he is just unlucky to get two bitches for Ex's....yeah right LOL. He thinks he is perfect and has never done anything wrong...erm how about an affair and walking out on your child, not turning up when it is his contact weekends as he has social things to go to or weekends away and holidays. I stupidly believed him when he said his ex was a bitch and extremely difficult and that he only had a one night stand after her affairs. I know differently now. One good thing I am glad he is not sharing this house or my life any more the lying, selfish twunt!!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/07/2012 10:10

I'm talking about buying time for your compensation to come through.

Write back and say that you will be instructing an estate agents within a fortnight etc.

Recognise he's game playing and let it wash over you.

Everytime his solicitor writes reply with what actions your are taking and that they have to allow you a reasonable time frame as the housing market is difficult at the moment.

RandomMess · 21/07/2012 10:32

Have you got a trusted family member who could and would go on a joint mortgage with you in the future, for example once the compensation money has come through?

Actually can't you say that you'll sell the house/take his name off once he has repaid your mum the £x amount that he owes her...

Start putting the pressure back on him...

Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 10:44

No there isn't anyone to come on mortgage unfortunately. Never thought of saying that about paying my mum back. however, it is unlikely to work as he won't even by our son a pair of trainers!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/07/2012 13:27

Yes but he DESPERATELY wants to come off the mortgage - that is a bargaining tool for you to sort out the finances.

He pays back your mum = more money to put against the mortgage which means he in turn can come off it as you can take it over Wink

RedHelenB · 21/07/2012 13:42

Is it definite you are going to receive compensation? If so, I thinki the idea of marketing it & stalling for time is a good one & will save you court fees.

Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 14:15

Yes most definitely the Dr was struck off the medical register for negligence and I have already received a small amount to pay for CBT but I have to wait until I have been treated for a full settlement figure in case I can't get over some things that affect me as it affects my job and my ability to stay in it and be promoted. I have to have at least 20 sessions and they don't start until end of August which takes me into the new year and then I have to wait for them to work out exactly how much which could take another few months and then you have the battle with the hospital insurers which could take months.

If I put it up for sale he will demand a quick sale and will just take me back to court making out I am preventing a sale and that will still mean I have to pay costs. He has nothing to gain out of this so he isn't bothered that it would sell for less than it is worth only that his name is taken off as soon as possible.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 14:20

Bugger I am crying again. This is my home and I have spent all morning playing in the garden with my son. It is all going to be taken away from him. I can't afford a 2 bed flat let alone a house with a garden. All I will be able to afford to buy is a small one bed flat at a push if I can get a mortgage and will only be able to rent a small one bed. I have just been looking on the web for places.

I just don't know what I ever did to him to make me hate me this much to force me out of this lovely home that was my Nan's and not caring how much this affects our son. I could never do this to someone and I certainly wouldn't be with any man that would this to their child. It is disgraceful. How am I going to pay him rent while it is being sold as well. I am tired of crying and being so stressed all the time and all of it is down to him. I hate him.

OP posts:
olgaga · 21/07/2012 14:27

Oh dear, try not to dwell on all those negatives, I think you have a very strong case here. I just can't see you being turfed out in these circumstances - his threats sound rather empty to me.

RandomMess · 21/07/2012 18:51

What is the legal stance on him being able to force sale when he has an obligation to see your ds housed?

In the meantime I would look at renting out a room as it will give you some financial breathing space - perhaps fund seeing a specialist solicitor?

Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 19:03

I have a lodger and I don't have any trouble paying bills etc just don't have a lot extra for solicitors as mine is £195 and hour and good.

However, this afternoon my sons wonderful godparents have told me that they will go on the mortgage with me as they could never allow us to be thrown out of this house and into a flat. Isn't it amazing how they can think that it is not fair on my son but his own father can't. I don't how I will ever repay them for their kindness. I am crying again but tears of just happiness. I did not even ask them, they said they had discussed it a lot and made the decision months ago that if it did look like it was going to court they would do it. They have already looked at mortgages etc to make sure it is possible before telling me.

However, I am not letting that twunt know until the last possible minute and I will think of stupid things to ask his solicitor so she has to reply to every single email I send to bump up his bill LOL.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/07/2012 19:05

So so so so happy for you, just remember to get his name off the deeds and that he accepts that there is no equity either now or in the future once his name is off the mortgage.

How are you going to get him to repay your Mum, is that even a written agreement anywhere? That is certainly something to ask his solicitor about.

Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 19:14

He will never repay it and has already told me that. Would be case of fighting and fighting for it and so in the end not worth it. I would have done if he was successful at getting me thrown out but I don't have the energy now. You live and learn. Never will I give a man any of money or let any man be in a position to have me thrown out my house. This has been way too traumatic for me and to be honest I would rather be on my own.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/07/2012 19:15

Be strong, cut him loose and ensure you claim maintenance through the CSA Smile

Original poster
Happylander · 21/07/2012 19:24

Thank you and I am doing. One day karma will come back round and bite him in the arse Grin

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 21/07/2012 19:33

That's great - get him off the mortgage & gain financial control - perfect!!! Do it as soon as possible, playing silly games & bumping up his bills really won't make you feel better - focus on the good people in your life like your ds & his godparents!!!

Muffintop101 · 22/07/2012 21:23

And remember, he is only entitled to 18% of the equity, not 18% of the value of the property. You can set off any claim for occupation rent against the mortgage interest you have paid on his behalf. Whether the mortgage provider will allow him to come off the mortgage is a matter for them.

A proper offer in the above terms would probably mean a judge would not order a sale and he'll have to argue with the mortgage provider to come off it. You can only use your best endeavours to get him off. It's ideal that the godparents can assist to help you make the break from him.

Muffintop101 · 22/07/2012 21:25

The above regarding the 18% of the equity only applies if the trust deed does not say specifically he is entitled to 18% of the value of the property itself.

olgaga · 22/07/2012 22:47

Pleased to hear this! Keep going, you'll come through. Your child's welfare is vastly more important than your ex's pathetic attempts to portray himself as a "victim" to justify his own position to his new squeeze, which I suspect is what this is all about.

So sorry you're having to go through this.

Original poster
Happylander · 23/07/2012 20:15

Thank you. I have spoke to his solicitor today and she said that after reading my emails she has to speak to him. I just kept saying 'do you honestly think this is in the best interests of our child?' I also asked how much rent and how the hell can I be expected to pay rent to someone that does not even pay the mortgage and she said 'well it is not unreasonable that he asks as he can not live in the property' I pointed out that it was him that chose to leave and he can come back and live in the spare room if it means I keep my house LOL. She seemed pretty useless actually and it also seemed as if she had not been told the full facts i.e. that he does not pay any of the mortgage. Mind you she said she would get back to me with how much rent he wants and I said 'i live on the breadline as it is are you happy that me paying him rent will probably mean we starve' no answer.

I have decided to keep it going for as long as possible and then say that I will get his name off if he gives me the money to pay the rest of the loan off. Worth a chance.

Also spoke to the mortgage company who said it should not be a problem to change the name on the mortgage. My friend has more in savings than the mortgage is worth so should not be a problem.

Fingers crossed.

Oh the idiot is not seeing our son this weekend because I told him what I think of him for trying to throw us out. Not really sure why that means he can't see our son but he said it is because I had a go at him. In the past 7 weeks he has seen our son once as he is too busy going out and going on weekends away.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 23/07/2012 20:26

I would all those facts to his solicitor in writing Wink

I did she that she could do with being filled in on the rest of the story Smile

olgaga · 23/07/2012 23:15

I agree with Random, write a letter to her to "confirm your conversation of 23 July 2012" and get everything in there. Have you also spoken to your solicitor? Send yours a copy of the letter too.