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Legal matters

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Original poster

Whose responsibility is it to pay for DD's Car insurance mot etc

67 replies

bobs · 19/05/2012 17:28

DH bought DD a car last year - registered in his name with her as the main driver and him as an additional driver. He paid for insurance but now it is coming up for renewal along with tax and MOT - probably a service in there as well - he is refusing to pay for anything, saying that she should. she is just doing A Levels and has a part time pub job, but with the best will in the world, she cannot afford to pay it all - probably in the region of up to £1000 total She is paying for petrol already.
I guess she would be at fault if found driving w/o an MOT or insurance, but is it legally DH's responsibility to pay, and if it just sits in the drive surely he would still be responsible in some way. I know he could fill in a SORN to say it is not being driven, tho I can't see him bothering with that

OP posts:

Hervana · 19/05/2012 17:53

*she will not be able to use the car

earlyriser · 19/05/2012 17:54

and you are married to this man because?

mumblechum1 · 19/05/2012 17:54

OhNOMyFanjo, as the OP says, it's not her dd's to sell.

Hervana · 19/05/2012 17:54

She can't sell it-she's not the registered keeper

DPrince · 19/05/2012 17:55

The owner of the car must be the person who is the main driver. My friend had her sisters car and was insured as the main driver. Car insurance was null and void. imo its your dd responsibility. You'd dh oils simply sign a sorn and park it off road. Legally once that's done the only person held responsible for it being driven would be your dd, with a possible two charge on top. I assume you wouldn't allow her go drive it with no insurance. Her other option is go 'i can't afford a car so can you sell it?' She doesn't need a car

Oakmaiden · 19/05/2012 17:55

It did bother me, but I am sadly inclined towards the "head in the sand" approach to difficult situations...

AmberLeaf · 19/05/2012 17:55

Change the ownership then, the documents must be in the house?

Fill it in and send it off.

Then when you have the documents in your DDs name back-sell it.

Original poster

bobs · 19/05/2012 17:57

She's off to Uni - hopefully - in October so only really needs it for another 4-5 months - I thought he's at least fund it till then. She is picking up DD2 from school every day for me as I went back to work last year...at 51 yrs after 19 yrs not working!!!! AHHHHH what happened to the halo smiley???

OP posts:

Hervana · 19/05/2012 17:57

Blimey I've just realised you are actually married to this man-the way he was behaving I thought he was your ex

Don't you have a joint account? Guess you should both cough up really (and did you not discuss before he bought it for her the set up wrt insurance etc? Surely it must have occurred to you at the time??))

DPrince · 19/05/2012 17:58

Amber that's illegal. He has to sign it over.

TheProvincialLady · 19/05/2012 17:59

He sounds like a real charmer...why on earth do you put up with him?

Advise your DD to leave the car and use the bus/walk etc. She doesn't have the money to run a car yet and sadly her father has got some sort of bizarre thrill out of setting her up with one and then criticising her for not suddenly having thousands of pounds a year to run it. As far as life lessons go, she would be sensible to learn now that when you are an adult, you buy and run your own car and if you can't afford it, you don't have a car.

Original poster

bobs · 19/05/2012 18:04

Oh you do all make me laugh...yes a lot of people have asked me why I married him...mmmmmmmm! - and he might as well be my ex....soon will be after 20 yrs marriage as is a complete and utter twat/tosser/etc/etc
I have the registration docs here - which there's no way on this planet - or any other - that he would fill in to transfer to her.
Oh - and I've already booked a holiday for DD to Magaluf with her friends - she pays for the spends. After Uni she will be paying for everything ut until then I don't see why we should't support her if we can

OP posts:

Original poster

bobs · 19/05/2012 18:11

Hervana - yes I did tell him at length what everything would cost at the time and did all the research in insurance etc - he ignored it all, didn't even put me as an additional driver which would have been cheaper for some reason.
Joint account? no way!
As for both coughing up - already pay for way more than he does on the the house/girls etc. I have drawn up numerous budgets over the years demonstrating that he has x2 more income than me and pays for 1/2 the amount that I do. He is not badly paid, but I remember once when the girls were small, him criticising me paying £30 for a pair of Clarks winter shoes (the only shoes they had!!!
Tight tight tight - until it comes to spending money on himself!!!

OP posts:

DontmindifIdo · 19/05/2012 18:16

oh well ,then tell her not to pay, get her to stand there and tell him she won't unless he transfers the car to her name as the owner is the one responsible (if he does do that, i'd give her the money on the understanding it's sold when she goes to uni)

Original poster

bobs · 19/05/2012 18:22

Could try that, but all that would happen is he would transfer the car, which would make her responsible for paying for it and then expect her to sell it and give him the proceeds when she goes to uni. Can't see him agreeing as he seems to get a thrill out of making life difficult. Plus he wouldn't be bothered to sell it - it would just sit in the drive forever...and ever...and ever !!!!

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 19/05/2012 23:06

Tell her to park it up somewhere on private land somewhere off the road (do you know anyone with a farm or something?) and let it rot, and get rid of your "D"H, he sounds like a charmer.

Original poster

bobs · 20/05/2012 00:22

Planning to trixymalixy...planning to. seen a solicitor a few months ago just to know my rights and now waiting for the right moment.......thought I'd wait till kids finished school but looks like i won't quite get that far - plus he's now being nasty to them

OP posts:

differentnameforthis · 20/05/2012 01:47

Not helpful now, but all this should have been discussed when she got the car, no? Like, 'we will fund the first year & after that, it is your responsibility' type thing.

I can see both sides. She wants the luxury of a car, she should pay for all that entails. Yet, you all should have discussed what was expected after the first year, imo.

I don't think that defence of 'my dad refused to insure & MOT it' would stand if she was the one driving without insurance/mot. As far as I am aware, the driver is responsible for making sure the vehicle they are driving is road worthy & that they are insured.

Isityouorme · 20/05/2012 06:48

Whatever happens she must not drive that car with no insurance.

Original poster

bobs · 20/05/2012 10:48

She realises she can't drive the car unless insured etc
Unfortunately in our household it has become "I will fund" and "he will fund" on the basis that I have paid for everything for the girls since they were born - all the paraphernalia you need before birth - cot etc - all their clothes, food (for all the family), swimming & dance lessons, Brownies, pocket money and then allowance when older. Oh - and private school, school trips etc. DH paid for the household bills - anything on DD. Up to 2 yrs ago I paid for anything needed and always made "the terms" clear (i.e. this is your monthly allowance, it will never be increased and if you need more, get s part time job, or I will pay for a girly holiday this year, you will pay the spends out there, but after you start uni you are on your own holiday wise if you want to go away with the girls - or boys!) From an inc/exp view I was paying out way more than him and it never bothered me - easier to pay than ask DH I guess, and if e.g. I could afford a prom dress, then I did. 2 years ago something happened to me finance -wise and I had to get a job - luckily a friend phoned me out of the blue and offered me one...amazing - hours to fit around the girls etc. But I told DH he would have to start paying for the food and other stuff and make it a more equal footing. Get this...to begin with he gave me a joint credit card which was good for a year. But then when it was up for renewal he made an excuse for not given me the new one and from then i had to pay for everything and show him the receipts every month and produce a spreadsheet for him to transfer the money over. Absolutely demeaning!!! we are not at the point where I showed him how much i had spent on food for the house and the girls for a year, he took off £100 pm "austerity measures" and I now have to ask him to transfer a set amount over every month. I just know that one month he simply won't do it and I'll go into the red.
DH IS difficult to deal with and I have explained that with kids you have to be consistent and tell them what's what. He refuses to do this and blaims me for the fact he does not get on with them and has big big resentment that I do. I spoil them as much as any other parent, shout at them, have smacked them when little (loads in the case of DD1) and am always having a go at them for "stuff" But I would't do it any different and whatever he says, that makes me a good parent
Sorry - long rant to get it off my chest

OP posts:

DontmindifIdo · 20/05/2012 16:08

Leave him now. Actually, throw him out, your DCs will respect you for it.

AmberLeaf · 20/05/2012 16:14

Yes I agree, leave the bastard

Original poster

bobs · 20/05/2012 17:34

Plan to - just got to get the right timing re the girls - DD1 currently doing A Levels, DD2 doing a couple of GCSEs a yr early atm.
Actually we had a really good talk today - one where he actually listened for a change - milestone!!! I am now very blunt with him and have told him I realise he is never going to change, however good his intention are. He says he loves us and wouldn't do anything to hurt us but I think it might have actually sunk in that he does hurt us (- mentally that is, not ever physically), and he actually seems quite shocked.
Out of interest, can you actually legally throw your husband out???
Advice from solicitor - try to go for a separation agreement, divide all assets and divorce after 2 yrs - cheapest option with least aggro. If he plays silly buggers I would have no hesitation in going the unreasonable behaviour route - tho his is very insidious.
Hey ho - life is SUCH fun :)

OP posts:

Original poster

bobs · 20/05/2012 17:35

Oh - and I must tell you - he emptied the dishwasher for the first time in 20 yrs today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

ChocHobNob · 21/05/2012 09:41

DPrince : "The owner of the car must be the person who is the main driver. My friend had her sisters car and was insured as the main driver."

This isn't true for all insurance companies though is it? It's not that uncommon for a car to have a different registered keeper to the main policy holder. In the cases of cars given as gifts, borrowing someone's car, leasing a car, inheriting a deceased relative's car for example.

Some companies wont provide insurance when the main driver and RK are different, but some will. Some specify the RK needs to be a relative of the main driver.

Quotes online give options for having a different registered owner to the main policy holder. I've just insured my car myself like this. The car is registered in my name but as I only have a provisional licence, my Dad is the main policy holder and driver because he will be using the car for day to day purposes and taking me out for lessons until I pass my test. We've sorted out insurance under those conditions.

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