Forced To Agree To Contact

[somersdale]

I am a single mum with a 2 year old child, from an abusive alcoholic man. We were never married and never lived together. Since my child was born, I have tried to keep the man away, due to his drinking and abuse. He was never interested in our child, only in me. But he would make threats about our child to make me compliant.

Over the past two years I have been subjected to all manner of abuse, and when I don't let him in to my home, he stalks me and harrasses me by phone, email, and post. Finally, he applied for a contact order, when I stopped giving in to him. The problem is that he is a lawyer, who works in family law.

At the first hearing I was forced to agree to contact, despite my complaints of domestic abuse, alcoholism and injuries to my child. My barrister told me that I had no choice but to agree.

Since then, my ex has continued harrassing and stalking me. He is under a non-molestation order and the Police are considering prosecution. Social services have been involved throughout, and have serious concerns.

Cafcas have done their report, they express concerns about the drinking, and the effects of it on our child. But at the same time they advise increasing contact. They made no attempt to contact any of the social workers, police officers or anyone else. They seem to believe that it is a case of '6 of one and half a dozen of the other'. My solicitor tells me it is my word against his.

What am I to do? My solicitor and barrister both tell me that if I don't agree to increasing contact, then the court may make an order against me (in fact, they told me I could go to jail!).

Without any proper assessment or investigation, without anyone speaking with any of my witnesses, social worker, police, etc. I am supposed to go to court next week and agree to allow my child to spend unsupervised time with this abusive, alcoholic man, who is on a non-molestation order, under police investigation for harrassment, and has only ever threatened my child if I ever left him.

What do I do? I feel totally unsupported by my solicitor, my barrister, and the court process - all of whom seem to think that because my ex is a lawyer, his decency and integrity can be assumed!

Would ss provide a report, for your sol to submitt to court? Rather than wait for the court to contact them? Surely your sol should be chasing that up too?

I'm sorry, I realise you may not want to give out all details, but sometimes it is a bit hard to get a full picture from bits and pieces. I think I understand you better now.

Well I'm absolutely amazed that your solicitor hasn't gathered all the evidence possible from SS and the police, in order to point out to the judge the failings in the Cafcass report - particularly as you state:

(Cafcass) made no attempt to contact any of the social workers, police officers or anyone else.

What are they relying on when they imply it's six of one and half a dozen of the other?

You might want to contact the police yourself to see what the up-to-date position is with regard to a possible prosecution.

I know this is difficult online as you can't say too much, but I think you need a solicitor who will fight for the safety and well-being of your child - and you. This one is either lazy or incompetent (or both) by the sound of it, or there is some connection to your ex that you don't know about. It sounds very poor to me.

Either that or your legal team are aware of issues with regard to your conduct that we aren't!

Perhaps you should contact Women's Aid?

www.womensaid.org.uk/
You might want to contact this organisation for advice - you can email them:
www.maypole.org.uk/

Yes I agree with Olgaga, your solicitor doesn't sound up to the job. I've had 2 solicitors who have taken totally different approaches, I have to say my current one is much better. The first didn't listen, charged me a fortune for the privilege and was reckless. My current one is cheaper and much more level headed

I have just written a similar thread for advice myself. I can really sympathise with you.

I have just spent 3 years going through the legal system over my eldest son and 5 cafcass officers later I can assure you they are completely useless, inept and incompetent!! They have too many cases and not enough time. I have not come across a single report over 2 different boroughs that wasn't full of rubbish & untruths and that couldn't be pulled to pieces I even had one officer's report struck out she was such a lying devious cow. Problem is when on legal aid as I was they generally won't allow you to call a court officials words into question and if you fight against their non-commonsensickle recommendations they pull your funding!!

Have you ever considered self representing rather than having a solicitor, you can get away with far more than any legal counsel could. I applied for litigation friendship for my final hearing and got my unqualified yet highly on the ball partner to represent me and my solicitor said I got more than he or a barrister ever could have.

Ahead of the court hearing I would suggest you get SS to write a report about their concerns, I would then take a copy on the day, make one available for your solicitor and fax a copy to the court.

During the proceedings it would be fair for you or your solicitor to ask the court if they have seen the update from SS.

What does the CAFCASS report say about his parenting? Does it mention alcohol? I do wonder if his defence is that he doesn't drink when with your dd.