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To be cross that dh expects me to pay for exactly half of household expenses when he earns twice what I do?

3 replies

theredsalamander · 22/09/2011 17:05

Our finances are very separate. This worked fine when we were just a couple who both worked full time but now we are married with two children and I work part time to spend more time with the children I think it should change.

We've just run out of oil, (heating) and it will cost £1100 for a top up. Normal joint account balance never has enough cash for such a big payment in one go (over a year, monthly payment accumulating enough maybe). I have no savings, have very little spare cash (eg I rarely go out as I can't afford drinks/taxis/new outfit etc) but he has lots. It would take him three days work to earn enough to pay for the oil, he has enough in his account to pay for it already anyway.

His exact words "Oil is a house cost that we budgeted for and not an addition which I am happy to pay for"

Now I am rubbish with money, I will absolutely own up to that, in fact one of the reasons I am so skint is that I am trying hard to pay off a loan. Without the monthly loan payment I would be much more comfortable and would be able to contribute more to family outings trips etc- he pays for all "extra curricular" activities holidays/outings/meals out/etc, but I can't pay half of the oil cost. I do not want to "owe" him the money I want him to pay it so I am not in debt to my husband as well as the sodding bank.

AIBU? Or because I am rubbish with money is he right in not financing my obligations whilst I am paying the loan back?

I am posting this at work and wont be able to log in for a few hours but hopefully you will be able to give me some perspective on my return!

Thanks in advance.

OliviaMumsnet · 22/09/2011 20:32

Hi there I will move this to legal for you now
Thanks
M Towers

OliviaMumsnet · 22/09/2011 20:33

Et Voila
Hope you find some good advice here OP
Best of luck

OliviaMumsnet · 22/09/2011 21:10

Because Gigondas reported her post and said "can you post in legal?" and asked me to delete (which I read as delete the thread") so I thought moving might be better than losing the thread completely.
What she meant was delete her post, she had posted on the wrong thread.

Sorry! mea culpa! Blush
Perhaps relationships might be better though?

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