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Original poster

Ex wants to take kids to N Ireland

48 replies

mrscolour · 31/07/2011 21:49

Hi, me and ex split up in February. The children normally see their dad every saturday and every Thursday for tea. My dd (5) has been having overnight stays for a while and ds (2) has only just in the last couple of weeks started to stay overnight with his dad.

As our mediation fell apart, we our now making our arrangments through solicitors which feels like such a waste of money. Over the summer holidays my ex asked for 3 long weekends with the kids and on one of those long weekends for the children to go with him to Ireland to visit his family.

I have agreed to the long weekends as long as overnights were built up gradually for ds but I have not agreed to N Ireland. My solicitor said this was reasonable as ds has only just started having overnights. I am not saying that he cannot ever take them, jsut that it is too soon.

My ex today said he was going to take me to court over this.

My question is - does he have time to get a court order to take them this summer holiday?

OP posts:

Bandwithering · 01/08/2011 15:35

I totally understand the OP's concerns. It's very easy for people who are still with their children's dads to say 'oh you should let him take them, he has 'rights'.

OP, I'd say no. Tell him to take you to court if he wants to spend all that money taking the children to see his family. Use the dangerous dogs as another reason to oppose him taking them out of england.

Northern Ireland is very nice, but as a pp says, if he's unemployed, he could settle into life as an unemployed sahd with the support of his family.

GypsyMoth · 01/08/2011 15:45

well i'm not with my dc dad and i think you'll find parents have very little rights,actually its responsibilties,once it comes to court. the children are the ones with rights. rights to a decent relationship with both parents.

what breeds are the dogs.....remember op has mentioned them before,but cant remember them being official 'dangerous' dogs or banned breeds

the unemployed 'could' settle in ireland bit wont wash in court either.....

DrGruntFotter · 01/08/2011 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Boshankles · 01/08/2011 15:53

If I was him I'd go to court.
He'll get holiday contact.

GypsyMoth · 01/08/2011 15:56

Drgrunt........op herself mentioned the job issue!!nobody is shouting about anything....the op ASKED about it

DrGruntFotter · 01/08/2011 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

malinois · 01/08/2011 16:03

OP - I'm not sure if this is helpful, but not all airlines require photo ID on domestic flights (including NI). BA and BMI for example don't required any ID.

BooyHoo · 01/08/2011 16:50

i have to be honest and say i think if this went to court and you used the dangerous dogs as a reason not to allow contact, you would be laughed at. your ex will simply say that the dogs will be kept outside for the weekend. it really is a feeble argument in this case.

GypsyMoth · 01/08/2011 18:52

i think op is hoping there wont be enough time for it to even get to court,assuming he wants to go before schools return in sept

i think he could get an emergency hearing if he waits in court,have heard of this where one parent has witheld passports. but what prevents him just going legally anyway....it is still within the uk and he has PR?

BooyHoo · 01/08/2011 18:54

well even if he doesn't get to court in time for the summer there is nothing to stop him taking them at midterm.

weblette · 01/08/2011 19:01

I never had to produce photo ID for my dcs when flying to and from NI, none of the airlines require it.

The NI bit is irrelevant tbh, and as for mentioning the riots suburb the bits they happen in are tiny.

OP - as has already been asked, would you feel different if he were taking them to the North of Scotland? I do understand your concerns, I'm not sure you're focusing on the right bits to object to.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 01/08/2011 19:07

You dont need photo id for children under 16 if they are with an adult.

HappyMummyOfOne · 01/08/2011 19:26

I can see why he wants to fight you in court.

Turn the tables and imagine that they live with your ex and you only see them for a few hours each week week and are not allowed to take them on holiday. I would imagine you would be very unhappy and fighting for more access yet it seems ok the other way round.

allnewtaketwo · 01/08/2011 19:35

So, just to confirm, the childrens' father wants to take the children to see their grandparents for a weekend. What's the big deal? All this talking about whether to let him or not?

Will you be asking his permission next time you want to take them away for the weekend to see your family. So there's a flight/boat trip - big deal?

GypsyMoth · 01/08/2011 19:55

he's doing a good job of building up his access too. op,you dont own the children,they arent yours,just wondering how many more hoops this man has to jump through?

Collaborate · 02/08/2011 00:49

There are 3 different UK jurisdictions: 1. England & Wales 2. Scotland 3. NI.

You need the permission of all those with PR, or the court, to remove a child from any one of these jurisdiction to any other.

BooyHoo · 02/08/2011 07:58

thanks for this collaborate. when i think back now, the reason i would have been able to take my son to england was because EXp didn't have PR. the OP's case is different.

DrGruntFotter · 02/08/2011 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GypsyMoth · 02/08/2011 10:12

So the op, mrs colour, also needs her exs permission to leave jurisdiction assuming he has PR?

Collaborate · 02/08/2011 11:25

That's right.

allnewtaketwo · 02/08/2011 12:32

So just to check. A PWC needs permission from an NRP with PR to take children to Scotland?

Collaborate · 02/08/2011 13:02

Yes.

Collaborate · 02/08/2011 13:02

Unless that is you have a residence order, in which case you have the court's permission to remove a child for up to 28 days.

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