Help any legal beagles out there or anyone with similar experience

[Tenalady]

I have a very old friend from my childhood who's wife is saying that we are having an affair. Cant go into too much detail but it isnt true. She is now posting to everyone on FB with the same surname, which a lot is my family and I wondered if there is a way of legally stopping her from causing so much damage. My DH will go into a coma if this doesnt stop soon he is so sensitive.

Sorry to step in....

Harassment is defined as a course of conduct, so doing something once doesn't count. The purpose of a letter is to let someone know that conduct is causing someone distress. Subject to what I posted earlier about a court thinking it should be actioned as a libel rather than harassment, continuing to keep the allegation on the internet might amount to continuing conduct.

If the facebook stuff is in addition to other conduct then you'd stand a better chance under the PHA.

That's how I understood it Collaborate. Not certain of the criminal test but had an inkling there had to be at least two 'offences' so to speak. That's why I am about the constant advice this is a police matter

I am not a lawyer, but agree that a lawyer is needed.

I would report her to facebook for violating the terms of membership. Worth a go at least.

She sounds deranged though. How did this all come about?

Thank you all, you have been wonderful and quite entertaining too which has distracted me for a while lol!

All I can do is block her on FB myself and tick a box that it is for harrassment, there is no means of corresponding with a human on FB. Three other of her friends have now sent me messages on her behalf and I have blocked them in the same manner. Maybe sometime soon she will run out of willing friends to use.

The last message said they had contacted the ex via FB and got a tel number from her for my DH. I did respond to this threatening legal action if I or any members of my family or friends were contacted by her or her accomplices.

I guess I sit and wait and see if I hear anymore. If I do, I will get to a solicitor and have a letter written. The thing is the damage has already been done, I know now that family members have definitely been sent messages, so its a bit like locking the door once the horse is bolted.

Just a thought, if she has used her dh fb by means of his password without his permission and stolen messages from his account, isnt this illegal too?

Yes, but he would be the victim and it would be up to him to make a complaint.

I'm not lawyer but all this about involving the police and suing for defamation seems like taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Apart from reporting the problem to FB in the first instance I would write formally demanding that false allegations are removed/end immediately otherwise you will be seeking legal redress.

It sounds as though the women's marriage is breaking down and relationship breakdown is very much like a bevreavement. When a spouse dies it isn't unusual for the other spouse to blame the deceased for leaving them and/or be angry with health professionals and God for letting their loved one die. With relationship breakdown a spouse can feel bereft at being left and look to blame someone else for the breakdown and become angry about lawyers and judges. This might be irrational but it is the way human beings react.

Although the behaviour is annoying has it done real damage or would reasonably minded people see her as just another scorned wife with a problem?

I agree, STIDW. People going through a marriage breakdown find it very hard to accept that their own actions have almost certainly contributed tothe breakdown - they usually blame the other party 100%.

Thanks ST and Mumble, I understand what you mean, I have been the dumped one in my first marriage and all the emotions that goes with it.

I cant say that I would of hunted anyone or their family down, particularly if I didnt have full facts. The amount of my family she has upset has left me feeling just very angry as she seems to get some kind of sick kick out of what she is doing.

Today she has set up an email account in her husbands name and is sending to my email address now pretending to be him! This cannot be the actions of a sound person.

I have been in my bed for the last two days, not eating and barely sleeping trying to pretend this is some horrible dream and anxiously anticipating the next trick she cooks up.

Hoping to see a solicitor tomorrow to have a letter sent to her to stop.

Leo4, sorry to pile in with everyone else but the Wiki definition of defamation is not an accurate summary of the English law.

OP, your first and best port of call is to report to Facebook and try to get them to take down the posts (and whatever else they can do under their policies to deal with abusive posters). I gather they get pretty overrun with complaints, so unfortunately it may take them some time to deal with.

Your civil legal options are to get advice on a civil claim for libel or harassment (which is a civil wrong as well as a crime). Sometimes a warning letter from a solicitor is enough, at other times not. While harassment injunctions are not too hard to come by, including for internet communications, defamation injunctions are not, and neither would come at all cheap (think thousands of pounds).

Is it at all possible you could try mediation with this woman? Would her husband, your friend, assist?

Blimey Tenalady. This is obviously really getting to you and I'm not surprised. I hope you manage to wade through this thread and pick out the advice you think is best and get a speedy resolution.

Best of luck.

EldritchCleavage you're right about LEO4 it's typical of law students who haven't done the job yet to respond as such.

The reality in daily practice as a solicitor is far simpler. If the civil litigation dept at my firm got a new enquiry such as this, they'd reject it. Why? Do solicitors really want to go to so much trouble by wading in to the middle of this catfight? The answer is NO! They wont want to touch it with a bargepole. In the grand scheme of things who really cares what some nutcase says on facebook.

Complain to FB and ask them to take the posts down.

Agree, A1980. And spare me the various people who did law A-level and are still boring on about their 'legal knowledge' 20+ years later.

It is early days for the OP-she shouldn't act in haste because the woman causing the problem could come to her senses in a day or two. These cases do come up but generally once something has been going on for a much longer while and is therefore quite serious.

Hi, its not just fb ladies, she has contacted and messaged members of my dh family. Also acquired a telephone number of my dh ex to get our details and she as I understand has obliged!
Approached a solicitor but they couldnt help, told me to go to police, seems like its a merry go round, dont suppose they will be interested.

What on earth have you got to do to get assistance. I am really beginning to understand why folk may commit suicide when they are bullied and stalked etc. Never realised that the help everyone says they should of sought isnt really out there, poor buggers,

Not saying Im at that stage, just get why they do it now. Havent heard anymore from her now since Sunday so maybe its over, goodness knows! When I feel stronger, I will go to the police, just dont want to deal with anything at the moment.

The thought of mediation seems impossible, she is quite crazy, after all she has form and has attacked a poor suspect some years ago in the high street. I wont be going there, I dont think.. . . . .

I'm sorry to hear it, OP. Write down everything she has done, keep screenshots and printouts of posts and messages, by her and by others supporting her. That way when you go to the police you'll have all the evidence in good order.

Leo4 never said that the Wiki definition of defamation is an accurate summary of the English law. She said it was the Wiki definition. It's obvious it's not a legal text. A perfectly good place to start to give someone a flavour of whether what they have on their hands is defamation. People don't come on MN (or certainly shouldn't) for fully comprehensive legal advice, just pointers. Leo4 has given just that.

I've read back through this thread and can't see that Leo4 has said anything misleading. It's more likely a civil matter (yes). It could amount to criminal harassment if it continues/gets worse (yes it could, even if just enough to justify a first instance warning). I'm a criminal lawyer.

Don't see the need for the sarcasm directed at Leo about her studies. An important trait of a good lawyer is the desire to use knowledge to help rather than just show off.

Good luck OP. The more I hear the more it seems you should go to the police after all, despite some on here saying they would not touch it.

I'm not having a go at Leo (the A level comment was not directed at her, it was an aside), I just gently pointed out it wasn't accurate. The inaccuracy matters, in this context.

Leo accurately stated that she was providing the Wiki definition. To take that definition as being meant as anything other than a Wiki definition is to treat the information inaccurately.

Sure, but it is important for the OP to know the Wiki definition doesn't apply here.

It's perhaps also better for a law student to refer to statute or case law before using Wiki. I once had marks deducted for footnoting a reference to Wiki! Basically, because I was late with an essay and couldn't be arsed as it was an area of law I hated and was in a rush! Not sure a judge would like to be referred to an extract from Wiki!

Gosh Tenalady what a nightmare for you! I cant offer any legal advice but can tell you about my poor BIL who suffered the same level of harrassment from his ExP. Amongst other things she stole from his private bank account, padlocked his vehicles in their driveway, threw him out of the house at christmas, poured bleach on his clothes, got his teenage children to text offensive messages, pretended to be them messaging me & his brother, told the police he was harrassing her (he wasnt) putting lies and vicious stuff on fb and yahoo and on and on...
What worked for him was ignore her calls, texts, ignore the kids texts and calls, close facebook, ignore people she got to contact him, and basically blank everything. The people who know him know she's lying and theyre the ones that matter. Everything else can go to hell. He now has peace of mind and is moving on in his life.

I suggest you take the same approach as frankly, there is very little you can do anyway.

Oh, and she rarely bothers to contact her as she knows he wont reply