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Legal matters

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Request from violent ex to have contact with baby

37 replies

4SucksFake · 26/01/2011 19:37

Hi - am posting this on behalf of a friend.

Back ground to the situation is:

  • her ex beat her violently last year, whilst she was breastfeeding their 4 month old daughter
  • he was charged with and found guilty of assault and sentenced to 15 weeks imprisonment
  • following the attack, the social workers got involved and produced a report stating he cannot have unsupervised access.
  • friend offered him access at a contact centre (this was prior to the court case) which he did not take up. He has therefore, through his own choice, not seen his daughter since the incident
  • he has contributed no money, sent no cards etc or shown any interest in the baby since his arrest - even going as far to tell the police that he has disowned her

He was released from prison two weeks ago and friend has now received a solicitor's letter requesting that he has 3 hours unsupervised contact per week. The solicitors have given her 1 week to respond.

What she needs advice on is :

  • does she even need to deign this request with a response? (And can his solicitors just impose a unilateral response time on her?)
  • if she must respond, can she simply state that she is not willing to make any arrangements outside of a court order?

She does fear for her daughter's life if he has unsupervised contact. And would never agree to contact outside of a court enforced order.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 26/01/2011 22:26

yes,families need fathers are very good,and regardless of their name,they can help mums!!

also www.wikivorce.com

cestlavielife · 26/01/2011 22:49

i agree that in these cases it is actually better to go tocourt where CAFCASS will eb invlved.

but as was said, mostl likely outcome is that he will get some form of supervised contact - if that goes well then it will move on - but in an ideal world he will have shown that he is in fact safe....

court arena provides safe secure place to bring all reports etc - it isnt as intimidating as it sounds - it is formal in a room but not necessarily a court room - can be just a room with tables. and times between eahrings and ordering CAFCASS reprots etc means it can drag out - which is good news when is small baby and there are these concerns.

Resolution · 26/01/2011 23:17

Just noticed this thread.

Who told her that child care costs are not taken into account for legal aid? Of course they are, provided of course the parent is working and the child care is needed to enable the parent to work. PM me if she needs to go back to the solicitor and wants to quote chapter and verse. she could also ring the LSC help line and they'll confirm this for her.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 23:30

they weren't taken into account for me resolution. this was 5 years ago though. have the rules changed in that time?

Resolution · 27/01/2011 00:17

No, not at all. They haven't changed one little bit. The first form you fill in is called Legal Help. As part of the assessment process there is a part for the solicitor to put in child care costs. Google "LSC eligibility calculator".

You were badly advised.

If you've paid costs when you've been wrongly told you're not entitled to legal aid you should be able to get your money back.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 00:19

well it was my solicitor who told me my childcare costs were not taken into account and worked out that i was not eligible for legal aid. i think i paid about £1400 and then when i realised she wasn't actually doing what i wanted her to do i just self represented and did all my own letters.

Resolution · 27/01/2011 00:21

Still it will be worthwhile contacting them. Ask for your file and see what evidence there is that you were told you weren't eligible to receive legal aid.

Resolution · 27/01/2011 00:22

wouldn't turn down the chance to recoup £1400 personally.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/01/2011 00:23

goodness i am seething now that i paid all that out!! i am definitely going to ask for my file. thank you.

babybarrister · 27/01/2011 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

4SucksFake · 27/01/2011 21:09

Thanks all for your continued advice.

Very interesting that her childcare costs should have been taken into account. I will get her to look at that calculator.

As regards who she would be happy (friends/family) to supervise with the contact - no-one from her side. The restraining order is also against her immediate family as he has threatened and harrassed them. And her friends are scared of him. Which only leaves his friends/family to supervise the contact which is far from ideal.

Babybarrister - I have spoken this over with her tonight and I think she is going to reply saying she rejects the request, in line with social work recommendations. And leave it at that. Then at least she has shown she has responded.

OP posts:
Resolution · 28/01/2011 09:10

Just to clarify - Boo is in Northern Ireland, where child care costs aren't taken into account in a legal aid assessment. In england and Wales they are taken into account, provided the carer is working. You can't take them into account if the child care isn't needed for work.

Don't know the position in Scotland. Sorry...

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