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Original poster

Advice needed regarding wills of unmarried grandparents. Please help me sleep tonight.

33 replies

ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 16:12

I'm going to do bullet points as it is easier. This is all complicated and I am struggling to get an app at CAB.

My maternal grandma has dementia and is in a home.
My mum was an only child.
My Grandma has been with her partner for 47 years but never married.
My non blood Grandpa is dying and in a nursing home.
He has made a will.
He has 2 chn from previous marriage.
He has power of attorney over her.
His dd has power of attorney over him.

What happens when he dies in regards to the contents of their home? My Grandma's things are there. He has stated in his will that certain things are to go to certain people and that the rest of the contents are to be sorted out by his 2 chn and me and my sister. But that is HIS will for HIS things.

Does this include my Grandma's things? Legally?
I am so confused.
How is this actually going to work?

His chn have been a bit funny and have upset him quite a bit wrangling over what was put into his will. They have the only key to the property which I am not happy about.

I am thinking about going to see a solicitor but not sure.

I don't want my nan's things like letters etc being thrown out.

Feeling panicky about it just writing this.

OP posts:
phipps · 16/10/2010 16:14

Is your non-blood Grandpa your father's father or partner of your Grandma who is in the home?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2010 16:18

His will cannot state what happens to your grandma's property, unless your gran willed everything to him, and she dies first.

Georgimama · 16/10/2010 16:24

If the house is his rather than in joint names, it's probably going to be a bit difficult from a practical point of view when he dies because the property will pass under his will and they will just go in and deal with all the contents.

Can't you contact them and say you want to remove her personal papers for safe keeping? They can watch you if they like. But if his will says the contents are to be sorted by his children and you and your sister, I don't really understand the problem anyway. You will be there when they go through the stuff.

Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 16:28

Mind frazzled.
He is my dead mum's step dad. My nan changed her name to "Mrs Grandpa" but they never married.

She has no will and moved into a home earlier this year.

Do not have "dibs" on clearing out the house if that is what is written in HIS will if my nan's things are still in the house?

My nan is unable to make decisions and barely recognises me.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 16:28

Sorry meant do his chn have dibs....

OP posts:
Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 16:29

House is rented.

OP posts:
LucindaCarlisle · 16/10/2010 16:30

Is the grandma at bullet point one the same person as the grandma at bullet point three?

It may depend on who dies first?

Is your mum still alive?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2010 16:35

As it's rented, the house will need to be cleared fast after his death. Can you speak to his children and ask to clear your gran's stuff now? As Georgimama said, one or both of them could be there while you do it.

Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 16:35

I am so sorry for the rambling. It's so bloody complicated I can't even get it straight in my head let alone explain it.

I just don't fully trust his chn.

OP posts:
LucindaCarlisle · 16/10/2010 16:37

Age concern or "Age UK" are also good with advice in this area.

Find out the details of the "Power of Attorney" If and when your Grandma dies you could apply for probate as grand daughter. Make the application BEFORE grandpa gets round to it.

phipps · 16/10/2010 16:38

Who lives in your mums house now?

Could you not take the things you want now?

Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 16:45

Age uk. Hadn't thought about that.

Grandpa has been a bit reluctant to accept things and wants it done afterwards really. I wouldn't have a problem going throught things with them there. I just feel I need to be be legally prepared for if his chn become awkward.
They seem to be suspicious of everybody. I feel it will be all on their terms.

OP posts:
Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 16:48

Their house is empty as he is in a nursing home and my Grandma is in a dementia unit.
Really missing my mum.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2010 16:50

Can you contact his children easily? I know you said they've been a bit odd, but are they approachable?

HeadlessLadyBiscuit · 16/10/2010 16:56

I don't think you can get power of attorney because someone has to be of sound mind to be able to give it to someone. If you are only interested in things of sentimental value, couldn't you ask the grandad's children to come with you and see what you are taking?

LucindaCarlisle · 16/10/2010 17:00

The Court of Protection operates now under new rules and procedures.

THe OP as nearest blood relative has ( I think ) more rights if and when granma passes away.

HeadlessLadyBiscuit · 16/10/2010 17:04

Really LC? Gosh I didn't know that. Hope that speeds things up for people rather than a useless probate for a year

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2010 17:04

It looks as though grandpa's going to go first though; no point in the OP trying to claim rights over her gran's stuff if she dies three years after the house has been cleared.

(Sorry to be so crude, OP. :( )

LucindaCarlisle · 16/10/2010 17:07

The way I see it is that you as Grand daughter could apply for probate. Assuming that grand dad and grandma are not legally married, then I think that you would be entitled to apply to be the Administrator of the estate of your grandma.

Georgimama · 16/10/2010 17:09

She's not actually his grand daughter though - I mean I'm sure they think of each other as such, but they aren't blood relatives.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2010 17:11

Lucinda, she can't apply for probate until her gran is dead. By then, there may be no estate if that estate comprises solely of her "things" (rather than a full bank account etc), if those "things" have been claimed/thrown out by gran's DP's kids. :(

Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 17:12

I just wanted to be reassured that the "right" to sort that his chn have that comes through the will does not include my Nan's things. As I undertsand it, my Grandpa cannot will my nan's things.
I am over thinking and getting worked up I know.
Thank you for your replies.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2010 17:16

No, grandpa cannot will gran's things. :)

The problem is that when grandpa dies, will his DC know what is your gran's stuff, and what is his? Clothes are obvious, but jewellery might be difficult (eg, if he'd gifted her a necklace that had belonged to his late wife, it should go to Betty, but his DC might feel differently.)

Georgimama · 16/10/2010 17:17

They don't have the right to chuck out your nan's personal effects and her partner cannot will them, no.

That doesn't mean they won't chuck them and there isn't much you can do about it if they do, particularly if those things are confined to personal effects of little or no financial value. That's your problem and why you need to get at the stuff, pronto. Tell a lie - say your nan has been mentioning a name or something and you wanted to get at some of her photos as might trigger a response? Then just take whatever personal papers and things you can find.

Original poster
ConvexBetty · 16/10/2010 17:20

I don't want to have to think about these things when I am waiting for "that call" but I am the kind of person who likes to be prepared for what might happen.

OP posts: