Anyone else crippled with exhaustion?

[Slickbird]

I need to know this just isn't me!!! I have three (I know, lame compared to many of you - - and hat's off to you!. My eldest DD is 8 yrs, then I have a DD who is 20 months and then a DS who is nearly 10 weeks old. I am finding it really exhausting, but moreso, my bones and muscles ache all over from all the constant bending, lifting and being on my feet for 14+ a day. My hands and wrists are particularly bad at the moment and I'm just wondering if anyone else suffered this to start with and that it will get better? I feel it's because I had two pregancies close together, where I was unable to keep fit due to SPD and terrible sickness amongst other things. I think my body is just struggling to cope with the physical graft of it all. (btw, I'm 36 so, not as young as I used to be!!)

Anyone? Anyone?

Thanks.

i hear ya

i'm knackered most of the time at the moment it just seems unusually busy for some reason.......although i've done jack today

do you get time to do 'gentle' exercise like walking? if you have particular problem areas it may be as well to see the doc, if you have pains in your hands and wrists it could be linked to arthritis

No, not really had the chance for exercise yet, am hoping to get back in the pool soon. I am seeing doc on monday and was going to ask, I am scared it could be linked to artritis too (although no family history) but its really just come on since I'm lifting toddler and chunky new born.

i wouldn't worry too much, its harder each time

i really felt the difference in my body with my last pregnancy compared to previous ones

but your DS is only 10 weeks old so give yourself time to recover properly, it is tiring because you have others to look after too and you can't 'rest' as much as you probably could with the others

I know, you're right, I do forget he is only very young, and I think I've been more impatient wth my overall recovery this time, which ironic given I have more children to deal with than before!! I guess being up through the night certainly isn't help as I'm getting very little chance to recover.

Thanks for advice

I'm tired but actually feeling relatively ok. I think I was expecting to feel alot worse. I have a 6,4 and 2 year old and a 4 week old.
I think its ebcause I am so relaxed about things this time. So chill out, do the importnant stuff and leave the rest.

OP - my wrists were really bad after having the boys but settled within the year. Once they're out of nappies, that helps because it's your wrists that do a lot with the twising and pulling etc.
I'm tired a lot of the time but actually after ds4 I don't feel as bad as I did after ds3....but am also a coup[le of stone lighter than after ds3 so that might be helping my general feeling of wellbeing.
I do agree that you expect more of yourself after each one and yet it's actually more demanding adding to the already existing number of children!
You're not alone, though!

I to felt this after ds3. I agree more children and more pressure are part of the problem but I also found that my poor diet didn't help. I don't know about you but I just grab rubbish i.e a bisciut,chocolate, packet of crisps (I won't go on I'll only embarass myself). But try taking pregnacare (or it's cheaper alternatives) and fish oil capsules (suppose to be good for joints but if you can include it in your diet even better). Also nuts, almonds, cashew nuts etc all good.

I'm no dietician but I've got to say it worked for me. But I also agree that gentle exercise and time is a great healer of aches and pains. This stage is really hard because you feel like your always needed by someone and I think that it takes a while for things to settle down into a manageable pattern.

Good luck at the drs.

I'm so glad to hear this! (Not that I'd wish ailments on others, I don't mean that...)

Frank I do notice the way I have to lift them when changing nappies, or holding youngest when feeding, it's awkward angles, but just the general constant lifting of them is a strain. I also wondered if it might be the joints struggling a bit because they all soften in pregnancy with the hormones and maybe that's why it hits them so hard after?

Zola I generally eat very well but obviously like anyone, am prone to snacking on things that aren't the best, but I usually have a good breakfast and dinner, and always have a few pieces of fruit in the day - with a few custard creams thrown in! My God, those are addictive. But I have also just started taking cod liver oil to see if that helps.

Bronze I agree, I'm trying to lower the old standards, and tend to just try and get one main thing done in the day (like, washing, shopping, hoovering,cutting the lawn etc) and just see how it goes. The first few weeks were ridiculous, I was out and about everywhere, trying to prove to myserlf that I could carry on as normal, but ended up knackering myself and getting dizzy spells! So I have tried to calm things down a bit. Good luck to you with 4!

Oh my! I'm so relieved you posted this, though obviously not glad to hear how tired you are - you poor thing.

I too only have three kids, twins who are nearly 4 and a 5 month old and I'm really feeling the strain. My knees seem to have gone from all the kneeling down and sitting on the floor I do with all three of them and my back is like an old womans!

I'm just turned 34 and am finding it so much harder than I did with the twins when I was 30.

Have you tried soaking your hands in hot water? My husband is a physio so his hands are very painful by the end of the day and he finds that helps relieve the ache a little - good excuse to have a bath!

I also second the supplements ( I have a superfoods green drink) and trying to eat healthily. I am guilty of the "i'm breastfeeding and looking after small children so will eat 6 penguins" bad diet and am really trying to eat bananas/yogurts instead. Drinking lots of water seems to help with the fatigue as well.

Hope you find some rest soon!

Oh god yes yes yes..... I am so tired I don't actually know myself any more. I also have 3 (aged just 4, just 2 and 5 weeks). I found the transition from 1 to 2 relatively painless so I wasn't expecting to be quite so poleaxed this time around. In retrospect DH and I have realised that no, we had not perfected our parenting technique with DD2 it's simply that she was a very very easy and content baby! Although DS' behaviour is completely normal he is a LOT more demanding than DD2 which caught us off guard! I had a section (as I have each time) so have been physically pretty fragile - but there is no room for that. I laugh ruefully when I think how pampered I was after my first section, lying in bed with DD1, this time I was tramping to and fro from nursery and hoiking everyone in and out of the car - and driving - after 1 week! The last two times DH was around a lot more, but this time he is ridiculously busy (self employed, new business which is really starting to take off brilliantly - good, of course, but means I have little or no help from him). I know it is an endurance excercise and things WILL improve once DS starts sleeping for longer periods, but honestly, if it wasn't for the fact I am bf, I swear I'd be an alcoholic by now.......

Oh - I meant to add I'm also 36, feel about 56 at the moment thoogh..........

You're cutting the lawn

I've only got three too, but I remember when DC3 was tiny my hands were cracked and split & seemed to be allergic to everything. My back ached from falling asleep breast feeding, and I felt about 100.n I was super skinny because I just didn't have time to eat or sit down in between the school run, nursery run and breast feeding etc.

A couple of years on and things have returned to normal and I feel I am myself again. Give it time and try and treat yourself a bit when you eventually can.

Slickbird, I've only read your first post so don't know what advice you have been given.

I had terrible aches and pains as you have described for at least a year after my dts were born (they are 2+3 now and ds1 4+3). Thumbjoints and elbows hurt all the time. my back still isn't right. Also had a problem with standing when I got out of bed, my feet hurt so much.
I'm sure it was exhaustion and I still have painful days now (had a full on day yesterday, pushed 2 shopping trolleys - a dt in each one - around a shopping centre for 2 hours) and could hardly walk in the evening.

I was very fit before ds1 was born so the exhaustion of parenthood is a shock.

HAve your iron checked, I was recently given IV iron and have much more energy after that although it hasn't helped wiht the aches and pains.

My fingers and hands and arms ached every day when I woke up for quite a long time after having my DC (at 35 and 38 yo). Am ok now...(at 41)

Oooooh, thank you all so much, I can't tell you how much this makes me feel better!!! I was really starting to worry, but seeing what you've all endured too, does reassure me. I also spoke to a friend who is a midwife last night and she said she reckoned it is the hormones affecting your joints that make taking the strain so hard.

It's good to know it should pass. I have had my iron levels checked (which I do have to watch for) and they are ok.

Hatty I do find having a bath eases things a bit and I may look at other supplements too.

Nelly I sympathise that you are having to do so much of it on your own, it is hard going, but wish you guys the best with your DH's own business.

Eye I know, far out. I'm doing it before the hayfever season kicks in big time for me. I find it strangely enjoyable, but it is tricky finding the time.

Thumjoints def the worst here too. And back and ankles! Oh well, fingers crossed they will get better. Thanks Botty Loopy and er...Shite for posting with your experiences too.

That'd be 'thumbjoints'!

Slickbird, I have 4 and I feel completely shatterd all the time, not physically but mentally. It started about a year ago. I do not know exactly what changed at that time but it seems that from 1 day to the other I was just ubnable to function normally and the simplest task becomes like climbing mount Everest!

I thought at one point I was depressed but GP said just very tired. I feel like Nelly that I do not know miself anymore and am becomming nore and more "short fused". DD4 just stopped BF a week ago (thought this would never happen after 2 1/2 year) and I can sleep a bit better at night but still do no see any real difference. I think if I was listening to myself I would just go to bed one evening and just sleep for at least a week.

Dh must be starting to feel that I am crumbling inside because he let me have a lie in middle of the week and took total charge of the DCS before school (waking them, feeding them, preparing their lunch box, making sure all homework is done, checking their clothes and cleanliness, walking them to school).

The problem is I feel even more crap now because it seemed like a breeze to him!

Oh BTW Dh did not say anything like "what are you complaining about, it is a walk in the park!" He really insisted that I stayed in bed because I deserved a good rest.

I just feel like that because the DCs seem to have responded top him much much beter than they respond to me!

Ok, so maybe he should do it more often? Like every other day!

Yes, I was going to say, it's totally different, 'having a shot', even for a weekend - day in, day out, week in, week out is a different matter. It's the 'groundhog day' factor on top of the exhaustion that makes it difficult. Make sure you get time to yourself one evening to go do something completely for you (says me! I'm still trying to get that sorted, but I WILL do it!) I think if you go the whole week with not even two hours out to go do something you enjoy, then you will feel the strain even more. I'm trying to find another singing group as I used to do that a lot but haven't found a new one since we moved a year and a half ago.

Is there anything you like doing Gorionine?

Slickbird
sorry I posted and then disappeare for the weekend (!) but glad you have had a decent response to the threaqd and know you're not alone! I think that, yes, the softening of joints during pregnancy does affect things and certainly after giving birth, I felt that some of the joints took longer than others to get back to normal!
Good luck finding a singing group!

Oh yes, I know exactly how you feel. It's not so bad now they are a little older and all at school, but when they were similar ages to yours I found some days absolutely back breaking and I was always completely exhausted. I'd ache in the mornings before I'd even done anything too!

I am still very tired at the end of the day (and sometimes fall asleep in the afternoons for 20 minutes ) but I don't physically hurt all over like I used to. It does get better - honest

I could easily crawl into bed and sleep during the day when ds4 naps - only thing that stops me is I'm scared I won't wake up in time to collect boys from school!