AIBU to deny my family of visiting newborn?

[Bakings]

Just wanted to get a second opinion on this, my baby is currently 3 weeks old and it's just been me him and his dad at home. My mum makes the occasional visit to help around the house and so do my sisters.

However, whenever my ILs come over, they just want to be with the baby which is a bit tough because I EB and it's a bit annoying to have to run into the bedroom every time. Well this morning my MIL was grilling my DH about me caging our newborn and insists we take baby to hers to meet the rest of their family and that I (THE MOTHER) can come if I want!? Bear in mind, she’s planned an entire party for the baby without my consent!

DH said he has to check with me because there's no chance he's taking baby without me - I said no because quite frankly she should've asked me directly and secondly I'm not ready for baby and me to be around that many people. My husband supports me on this. We take our daily walks, short trips to pick up some coffee but nothing overwhelming indoors.

AIBU to not want to take my baby to my ILs? When did you all start visiting your extended family’s houses?

While you truly don't have to explain yourself, there are times when a "little white lie" can save you a lot of grief. Have your husband tell his mother that medical advice is to not take such a young baby out and about where there are too many people.

Let your husband deal with her. The time will come when your ready to visit with your baby, but no need to follow anyone else's timeline.

Congratulations on your new baby - enjoy!

Three weeks old is very young indeed - and very early in your recovery and adapting to being a mum, @Bakings, and if you don’t feel up to visiting the ILs then you don’t have to. You aren’t ‘caging’ your baby - you are caring for them, establishing breastfeeding, settling into being parents, and putting yourself, your baby and your new family first, which is absolutely right, in my opinion.

Would you feel up to some short visits from the ILs - if your dp was able to control the visits, and be firm when you and the baby had had enough?

I have just one grandchild, and I absolutely do understand how excited the grandparents and wider family are - and meeting the new baby is wonderful for everyone - but I was 100% clear on the fact that it was the baby and my DIL - and the new little family that took precedence, and we were very careful not to overstep the boundaries. When they have laid down a boundary, we listen and respect it.

While I sympathise with some of your post I really winced at you saying that she must ask you, not your husband. Why? He is an equal parent.

Because the baby is only 3 weeks old and EBF so they’ll be attached to their mother’s breasts most of the time.

I know this is an older post but I just wanted to say that we don't have anyone come visit unless it's very close family memebers who were willing to have their whooping cough vaccinations, we don't go visit people, no extended family members and no friends until 2 weeks after our babies first lot of vaccines when they are covered with some of their own immunities. While we are out in public we keep the pram facing forward and covered so stranger don't touch or get close. Also an exclusively breast fed newborn should never be away from their mother, they need regular feedings and comfort from the breast.