3 kids in 3 different schools - would you consider it?

[Saffrondoormouse]

Have you had experience of sending your children to more than two different schools at the same time and if so how did you cope?

My kids are 13, 10 and 18 months. Eldest in local secondary, middle one due to go to secondary in 2023 and little one will start nursery in 2023 / primary in 2024.

Middle one has mild SN and although I think he will cope ok in a secondary (with support) i’m also considering a number of other local options with units / Sen specialism that might be a better fit. Some of these are local some are on the other side of my Borough (Barnet).

My main concerns are:

1. coping with all the admin three schools will create - currently find keeping in top of two challenging at time

2. managing the school run - middle child is unlikely to be able to walk home by himself, at least initially, and I don’t like older one walking back I. The winter when dark but I can’t be in three places at once.

3. events clash: parents evenings / concerts etc

4. extra uniform cost - having to buy middle one new blazer tie etc

Would you dismiss a third school out of hand or would it be possible with a lot of juggling?

Middle child has an EHCP which gives us a range of school options that we might not have if he didn’t.

The eldest will become increasingly independent, and with your age gaps you will always have to juggle the needs of the two younger ones.
My nieces have been at three different schools the last two years; eldest in 6th form, middle at a different secondary, youngest still at primary. I haven't heard that it's been an issue. Admittedly the middle one has I think relished travelling a bit further for secondary and being a bit independent.

All of your concerns are very vaild. I would certainly avoid as much as possible.

Have you looked into the SEN support in much detail at the secondary school? I'd do a thorough investigation and I guess that would be the ultimate deciding factor.

Could your middle child have transport provided by the LA due to needing a specific school due to SEN? A lot if my friends children with EHCPs have transport provided? Just something to think about

I have 3 currently at 3 different schools.

15 at grammar - gets bus to and from, has done since Y7
14 was at SN school (bus) now in the SEN stream of nearest secondary - walks to and from
10 at primary, I still drive to and from but hoping to move to some walking in the summer term in prep for joining her brother at the nearest secondary.

So I will move to 2 schools in Sept and looking forward to it.

Can’t lie sometimes the admin of 3 (parents eve, slightly different term dates, shows, assemblies, sports events, etc) has been challenging. I/we (husband works away a lot) have not made it to everything. Sometimes the balls get dropped.

Mostly it’s ok though.
Grammar uniform is expensive and no chance of passing it down. Maybe some chance of DS2’s blazer and school tops going to DD but they are v different shapes and sizes so maybe not.

But they are all going to the place that’s right for them - well, waiting to see about DD and the secondary as she’s not there yet - and that’s the most important thing I think.

Oh and DS2 had transport for all of his primary at the Special school. Pros and cons for that too.
Have to be here for pickup and drop off. So sometimes ran late for DD drop off if bus was late.
Sometimes screeched around the corner to catch the bus if she came out late and we had a habit of sprinting to the car in case the bus was early.

If you think the middle child will do best elsewhere then I’d strongly consider it. Your eldest will be 14 by the time your youngest is at nursery so they really should take on the majority on their school admin themselves and they definitely should be able to get themselves to/from school especially as you’re in London so it’s not unlit country lanes with no pavements. My SIL has 3 at 3 different schools in a similar situation including the middle child having mild SEN but the eldest has been mostly sorting himself since he went to secondary so she only really has to juggle 2 schools.

I had three at three schools for two years (for complicated reasons). The school run wasn't too bad but I did find it hard to keep on top of the logistics (three different school newsletters - too much to remember!). It's certainly doable though.

Mine have mainly all been at 3 different schools and always will be now we know where little one is going. You get used to it but I am not very involved like some parents.

In the schools! Suitably involved with the children I think

I has 3 in 3 different schools for years- was absolutely fine.

A few logistical bumps over the years but easily ironed out.

I'd always look at individual child and try and pick the right school for them.

Isn’t this just having three children rather than the three different schools? We have three DC in two schools and clashes are unavoidable. This week it’s the two that are in the same school that clash (one has a school play and the other has a sports match and all three have the dentist, which I booked six months ago as it’s impossible to get an appointment). Not sure how we’ll make it work, but it would have happened even if they’d been in the same school.

Thanks really helpful responses - it’s great to get perspective on this.

Another consideration I have is whether putting middle one in a different school will make him more aware of being different to his brother? He started to be aware of the fact that he needed more support than other kids after 2 years and it does get him down a bit sometimes.

About 2 years ago I mean.

@Saffrondoormouse

Another consideration I have is whether putting middle one in a different school will make him more aware of being different to his brother? He started to be aware of the fact that he needed more support than other kids after 2 years and it does get him down a bit sometimes.

Wouldn’t putting him the same school risk highlighting the differences too? If his brother is doing well and he’s struggling that may be more obvious if they are in the same school. And a school that is more equipped to deal with his needs may allow him to thrive.

With the middle child I would absolutely chose the school that is the best for them not the most convenient likelihood is eldest will sort self and it will be two school runs which it would be where ever you chose.

Good point Karma.

3 schools and a college with 5 dc here..
Logistical living hell.

I have 3 kids in 3 schools.

Eldest year 10 state comp. Loves it. Best school for her.
Middle year 8 private school. Loves it. Best school for him
Youngest year 2 state primary. Loves it. Best school for her.

Yes it's hard work, but I feel I owe it to the kids to provide them with the best school for their individual needs. So that's what I do I guess.

Only thing I'd be careful it's to stick to same LEA as some can have fairly different holiday dates/ half terms. I have 3 in 2 different schools and the different insets are annoying but they are able to stay home alone or dh work from home. My niece's half term and Easter are a week out from ours. Different holidays would be a nightmare.

I have three children at three different schools, across two different LEAs. Honestly it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Each one has a different app, different ways to pay for lunches and trips, different inset days etc but I’m kind of used to it. The apps really help me keep on top of all the fundraising PTA type stuff, and the older two manage their own school stuff really.
The school run isn’t an issue as the two older ones are at separate Boys/Girls schools so both catch a bus, leaving the younger one to be taken to primary school. If the older ones need picking up after an after-school activity there’s time to collect the little one, then head straight over for the older one.
Parents evenings haven’t clashed yet and the older ones are still online. It’s rare that I’m pulled in different directions and when I am there’s wrap around care at the primary school and the older ones don’t mind waiting in the library or at McDonalds for a bit if necessary.
I would say if it’s the right school for each child then go for it.

Different school term dates
Multiple school fairs
Multiple charity collections
School funds
Book fairs
Dinner money apps
No recycling uniforms
After school club logistics
Shall I go on?

I have 3 in 3 different schools. Soon to be 4 in 4 schools.

Eldest is a teen so takes herself to school.

I do the school runs for middle 2. I luckily have time between the schools drop/pick ups. But I spoke to the schools and have permission to drop off late and pick up early with the elder one if needed. Although they both have there own needs

My youngest will start nursery soon and dad will be doing the drop off and I'll pick up at lunch time. (My only considered option for her as she's non verbal and every member of staff is makaton trained)

We made it work. My children are at schools that suit them and fit them. Unfortunately that means they have to be in different schools. It isn't easy and sometimes we do need a extra pair of hands

I'd ask your middle child where he would like to go discuss the options and pros and cons of each. Then support that. I'd do 3 at 3 schools if it meant each child was in the best fit school for them. Not ideal logistically but doable.