Bedroom drama!

[0MrsP]

So we currently live in a 4 bed house.. 3 large doubles and 1 very small double. We have.

17 year old boy
16 year old boy
9 year old boy
6 month old baby.

Currently 17yr old has the smaller of the larger bedrooms.
The baby has just moved into the second biggest bedroom.
The 16yr old and 9yr old only stay with us for weekends so they share the smallest.

They are all moving in permanently this weekend and bedrooms are causing so many rows!

Everywhere is freshly decorated.. the nursery is done out for a baby, the other rooms are neutral colours. It's a sudden surprise having the middle 2 move in with us.

Who would you put where?

My 21-year-old is at uni at the moment but his bedroom is still his bedroom, this is still his home

Absolutely, but when he is here part time doesn't it make sense for him to be one of the ones sharing? Otherwise for 30 weeks of the year your have 2 sharing and an empty room.

That said, OP if it's an option I think I'd risk baby and 9 year old in together. Possibly in the biggest room and see if you can split it. Then you and DH in the next and the older boys in their own rooms. If this is achievable it means everyone gets their own space and no favourites. It is amazing what children get used to sleeping through. Our DD is ever such a light sleeper but she happily slept through her brother being sick all over his cot etc.

He isn't going to uni..
My room could actually be divided as it has 2 windows.. I might look into this, all the big rooms are a decent size anyway so this might just be the perfect solution!

I would still put baby in with you the snoring they will get used to. Get a small size cot from
Ikea and take out any wardrobe, other furniture to fit it in.

If a cot still won’t fit then get a double loft bed again from Ikea and cot underneath with comfy chair to feed baby.

I think OP wants to put the baby in their own room

My friend had this issue. She created 2 rooms out of the biggest. Plaster board wall that can be removed again. The rooms are small but they have their own space. Definitely the best idea and actually quite simple with the right layout 😀

I'd go for a trial of the two youngest sharing, and if after a month it's not working, split your room.
I think you are right to want to keep things super "fair". Tricky stuff!

You cant expect kids to share if theyre not proper siblings, so that rules out the 16/17 year olds sharing. Either the middle two share or baby needs to go back with you.
If my parent had moved in other children and expected me to share I'd never have forgiven her. You have brought the new baby into the equation, you really need to put the others at ease. Perhaps bring baby in for a short while giving 9 yo that room, then move baby back in 6 months then those two share.
I get the impression you expect the older 3 to suck it up and the baby to have a large bedroom to itself, which sounds the least ideal.

Theyroam are you implying dc without the same dp's aren't siblings?
My dc have different df's and share a bedroom - am I a terrible dm?

the 16 and 17 year olds aren't related at all.

I'm not sure that's an issue actually , but the fact the 9 and 16 year old don't get on is. I have 2 dds who just don't get on. Neither could share a room with the other. It would be horrible for all of us.

I'd put the 9 yo and baby in together. I did the same - mine love sharing wtih the littlest.. My 11 year old has moved rooms now, but he still chooses to go in with his little sister.

I wouldn't give up the sitting room.

Theyre not related, havent lived together, no history of being brought up together. So you cant make random children share bedrooms when theres no former intimacy, its unfair.
That may come in time, its not biology. You wouldnt move in an adopted child to instantly share with your bio child, they need to create their own intimacy under the same roof at their own speed. Bedrooms need to be somewhere they can escape to during that process, not somewhere they cant relax.

Often in the creation of stepfamilies/ having more kids, parents think the kids relationships are at their pace. They arent, are likely over a year behind and also not through choice-it's forced. So to make those kids share when they dont really know each other and have no link is cruel imo, it takes away the very safety a child needs at home. Not that I think op is doing that, but it does require consideration. Its the kids home too.

Could you sit them all together, minus baby, and get them to discuss and decide.
Make a proposition and if they don't like it let them discuss to see whether they come up with something better to ensure everyone is sleeping well and doesn't feel left out.

You could trial the 9 year old in the nursery with the baby over the summer holidays, see how it works before you spend any money.

If it doesn't, splitting the larger room into 2 could work. If you did that, you could put the youngest 2 in there and use the conservatory as a playroom. If that is still too disruptive, either the 2 brothers share the split room and you use the conservatory as a playroom by day, chill out space/study for the older one by night. Or maybe the 2 older ones might choose to share it with the conservatory as a teenager lounge for them only.

Alternatively, you could look into converting the conservatory into a bedroom for one of the older boys - adding a solid roof, replacing glass with walls, insulating it. It might cost less than an actual move. Realistically, one of the older boys are likely to leave home in the next few years.

What courses / interests do the elsest two have? You may be able to sell a room share to them if they get to share the biggest room and you can stretch to redecorating, high rise beds with chairs / sofe bed underneath etc. to give more grown up teenage space, but not if one if very academic and needs to get their head down whilst the other is studying art / design and draws with background music.

Alternatively, have the baby and the 9 year old sharing in the larger room and see if there's some way to build a tunnel around the 9 year old's bed to reduce noise. My 9 year old shared with a 3 month old on holiday as we were all in the same room. He woke up twice in the week, whilst baby was up 4+ times each night, and he was sleeping next to her cot. don't presume the littlie will wake him up every time. He will get used to the noise and hopefully baby will start sleeping longer spells.