Tell me about having four children

[BrutusMcDogface]

Hi all! I'm currently pregnant with our surprise number four, and have been through all the emotions!

Today I am mainly terrified. Had a day out at soft play and just kept thinking how much harder it will be in times to come when there are four of them.

Please help! Tell me it'll all be ok and rub my back sympathetically! Or, tell me it's bloody hard work and give me some tips to help us all cope!

Thank you!

[Christobel51]

My four are 6.5, 5, 3 and 4 months old, so I'm still getting used to it! The oldest two are at school and the mornings are hectic trying to get everyone ready, but you will manage. 😊
Try to be as organised as you can the night before!
The 3 year old goes to some pre school sessions so that helps, ( although increases the number of school pick ups I have to do in a day!)
Going out is ok.....the 6.5 year old is quite responsible and the 5 year old is ok too. Don't really trust the 3year old not to run off but he's getting better at staying closer to the pram and stopping when I ask him ( shout!) I do have to keep my wits about me in very crowded places, but you get used to it
I tend to be more picky about where I go now....there is a local park I never go to now ( unless as part of a big group who can't be persuaded to meet up elsewhere!) because the play area is massive, shaped like a kidney bean so you can't see from one end to the other and its surrounded by a lake on one side and a river on the other and isn't sufficiently secure. When the three of them star burst I have no chance of keeping tabs on all of them!
And soft play is ok as the oldest three can basically be left to their own devices to go round.....soft plays are designed to be safe places for them to play and my three are all good climbers. I've also taught them that if they can't climb up something then they aren't big enough to go on it...... I don't help them up, as then they probably can't get themselves down!
As for cars we have a 2009 Seat Alhambra..... It's ok but the boot is too small really with the fourth seat set up on the boot......Not sure what we're going to do when's it's camping season, but we will figure it out.
My three absolutely love my baby to pieces and would be without him and he has slotted right in to our family. Good luck and have fun. X

[TheSecondOfHerName]

Mine are now 17, 15, 13 and 13.
When they were all under five it was quite exhausting. I rapidly became the most organised person ever, from necessity.

[BrutusMcDogface]

christobel - I love your response! Thank you so much and congrats on your little one! 💐

[BrutusMcDogface]

TheSecond - seems like this little one might be the making of me, haha!

[LinoleumBlownapart]

Congratulations. I found other people's opinions harder than actually raising them. Going from 1 to 2 was difficult. Also having young children is difficult but as they get older it's more fun. I wouldn't change my family for anything. I have 5.

[BrutusMcDogface]

Thank you, linoleum !

I found 1-2 the hardest, too. 0-1 was amazing and 2-3 was pretty straightforward. I'm looking forward to 3-4 being a doddle! 😉

[RandomMess]

3-4 was the easiest IME!!!

[BrutusMcDogface]

Sproglets - I already can't cope with my washing, eek! I think I'll have to get rid of most of our clothes.

want - that sounds perfect. I think the next couple of years will be tough but will be an investment; the thought of four grown up children is lovely

[BrutusMcDogface]

Great, Random! That's what I like to hear!

[Elllicam]

This is such a nice thread. We are currently ttc number 4 and this is very encouraging. We have a Mercedes Vito 9 seater (planning ahead).

[BrutusMcDogface]

Good luck, Ellli !!

[MinorRSole]

We recently switched to a 9kg washing machine, it's a thing of beauty. Poor dh thinks I'm joking when I call it the love of my life.
Would highly recommend it

[Needmorehands]

Hi Brutus, I am currently pg with our surprise number 5 and totally with you on going through all the emotions! What are your age gaps? (sorry, have skimmed through thread but missed bits.
As others have said, it will be busy/chaotic - mostly the latter here!
Also agree with others who have said baby 4 just fits in around the others! She is my pickiest eater, but with an older sibling with ADHD and another with ASD she very quickly learnt that school run time = nap time in the pram! Don't even think of getting baby out of pyjamas for the school run :D
Cars - I drive, and love, our Peugeot Expert Tepee - its a van, which means we don't lose boot space by having the third row of seats - used to have zafira, then renault espace but boot space nowhere near big enough for the number of seats :(

[RandomMess]

Clothes - keep just what the DC need and wash a load everyday. I think when they were little it was a load every evening hung up to dry overnight DH helped. I used washable nappies too

Hung to dry on hangers where possible and then straight away in wardrobe. No ironing ever!!

I walked to school so baby could be ready and out in the Pram whenever and wheeled out - less stressful than driving.

Pre-school lunch pick up. Had a car seat that clipped into a base that I could then put on pushchair that had a buggyboard attached. It was a cheap graco mirage rest of time I used a better car seat and always put in pram but godsend for that sort of shuttle run.,

[isittheholidaysyet]

Mine are 12, 10, 8, and six. I'm a SAHM

I found it just as easy or hard as having 3.

Firstly, you become a chilled out parent. (You don't want to wear a jumper? Fine, don't! You don't like your dinner? Fine I'll leave it here for when you are hungry. Etc.)
I find it easier to think of the house being theirs as much as mine. Make sure it is children friendly and child accessible (if they can reach toys/books/toothpaste/toilet roll etc, they won't need your help to get them. Make sure the main areas are child safe for the older ones if you are not in the room for 5 mins)

School run...organise the night before, lunches done, bags packed, clothes laid out where child can reach. Strict routine, no playing/TV before school (unless you have very early risers) baby gets offered a feed before the others are woken (6.15am ish), and then another once kids are dropped, baby soon learns to take the early morning feed! Don't worry about dressing/breakfasting little ones, unless you are going straight on somewhere, if which case you may need to bring clothes and breakfast with you on the days it all goes wrong.

Car: we have a VW sharan.

I recommend a sling and a double buggy, if DC 3 and 4 are close in age.

[flutteronbynow]

Congrats Brutus! We have had a Ford S-Max since having 4 kids which I drive if it's just me & the kids (we have 6 now, so we also have an 8 seater Mercedes Vito for when we're all heading somewhere!!) I'm on mat leave at the mo but will be heading back to being a full time teacher in a few weeks. I get up at 6 & (when working) I'm out of the house by 8 at the latest. My 7 month old & 2 year old will be going to creche & the 4, 6, 9 & 10 year olds are all in school. It's a juggle but we get by! Thankfully my husband has his own business so is a bit more flexible & can be here in the mornings to get the 4 bigger ones out to school. I take the littlies with me & drop them/pick them up. It's all the clubs & after school activities that will actually be what kills me off! You need to be a very organised person. And I'm not! Which reminds me...I need to get myself a new 2018 wall planner! But I love it! Life is never dull & we really enjoy being a big tribe! Good luck. X

[flutteronbynow]

Oh & we got a tumble drier at Christmas. I. Love. It. It has changed my life! I never thought that (a) I would love a machine as much as my dishwasher, but I do, and (b) a machine would be able to make me so bloody happy...but it does. I've become very easily pleased since being a mum of 6 crazy, mucky, messy kiddos!

[BrutusMcDogface]

Oh my goodness, flutter! You are an actual, real-life, superhero!! Htf do you manage 6 kids and teaching full time?! I take my hat off to you and find you quite an inspiration!

Starting to tell more people and reactions haven't been quite as bad as I'd expected!

[BrutusMcDogface]

I will absolutely be getting a sling; my last little one practically lived in hers for a long time! No need for a double buggy again, though (thankfully!)

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

I have three close together then one a bit younger.

Three little kids and a baby was wonderful.

Three teens and a little kid nearly broke me.

Three young adults and a high school kid is nice though. I really like the feeling that we are building this big happy supportive extended family. I'm looking forward to the matriarch years. Only kidding not really

[UnitedKungdom]

Tinkly that sounds lovely! Mine are all within 5 yrs so very close in age. I can't wait to get the youngest (due next week) up a bit and all of them a tiny bit independent! God I miss having rights to my own body and time and arms. I feel like I'm parenting with my head stuck in a jumper with them all so little.

[WeaselsRising]

Ours were 5.5, 4 and 2 when DC4 arrived. Looking back the early years were quite hellish and chaotic. I coped by going out to work PT and DH working nights because I just couldn't bear being at home FT.

It got better when they were all at school. Being a similar age they all liked the same sort of activities. Laundry was never ending and at one point they only had uniform plus 2 sets of non uniform clothes each; major fail when they went to grandma's for a week in the summer.

You find that your own relatives will look after a friend's DC for whole days but won't watch yours for an hour. You don't get invited anywhere, until you meet another family with 4 then you almost die of gratitude.

On the plus side we had some fabulous holidays where they always had someone to play with. They are adults now and keep in touch with each other independently of us; they genuinely enjoy each other's company. If they fall out there are another 2 to go to.

We had DC5 when our youngest was 15 so we effectively have an only child now. That is a whole new ballgame. The others are very much a set and treat DC5 as an inconvenience. None of them has had children of their own either, which is telling.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

God yes to making friends with other people with loads of kids. One year we went camping in France with my best friend and my sister's families and we had 12 kids between us.

Even now the eldest are grown up they reminisce about the best holiday ever (I think they just turned into a huge feral pack while we drank wine in the sun).

[PuddleOfInk]

I am one of four. It was bloody hard growing up for lots of reasons.

Also good parts too, and I love my siblings.

[BrutusMcDogface]

Puddle - please elaborate? Then maybe our children won't find it bloody hard growing up....