Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Jewish Mumsnetters

Only those who have been a registered user of Mumsnet for at least 7 days can post in this topic. This board exists primarily for the use of Jewish Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

Moving to a Jewish area as a non-jew

42 replies

SilverDoublet · 27/07/2025 06:10

Hi all, just a quick one as I feel a bit strange to be posting this. We are looking at moving house and recently saw a lovely house which ticked most of the boxes. It's been very hard to find somewhere like this as we have a larger than average family. On doing our research on the house and area, we realised there are quite a few Jewish families on the road and a staunch Israeli family a few doors down. My husband, Catholic, is now concerned that maybe our kids will have to deal with assumptions they are Jewish and deal with unpleasant behaviour possibly? We are not Jewish, so I don't know if this is even a thing, or if it is going on... Do Jews feel unsafe where they live and is there antisocial behaviour towards them in their areas? Also maybe the Jewish families would prefer a Jewish family to buy the house and we'll feel odd living there... Not trying to cause any offence to anyone here.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Helpins · 29/07/2025 07:26

Do the Jewish community a favour and don’t live there. You have a very strange attitude towards Jews.

GentleSheep · 29/07/2025 09:27

OP you said your DH is Catholic but you don't include yourself so I will assume you are not. Perhaps you don't grasp the cost of what belonging to a faith can mean. Your DH should know though, and it's his attitude I take issue with!

You could move to the area and enrich your family's life by making new friends of another faith and culture, learning from them and extending the hand of friendship. However, if you approach this with 'oh dear my kids may be lumped into the abused group' then your mental attitude is all wrong and you really shouldn't move there. You can choose another area and forget all about it, you have the luxury of doing that, others here do not.

Your DH should know better, though. Remember one day it will be the Christians too. Christians are being severely persecuted in various places around the world, it's only a matter of time before it begins in the UK (or wherever you live now). Then your husband and potentially children will suddenly find themselves in the oppressed group and won't be able to run away from it, and they will be the ones people don't want to be neighbours with, or spat on in the street. It's a sobering thought.

Personally I'd rather extend the hand of friendship.

PurpleThistle7 · 29/07/2025 10:25

GentleSheep · 29/07/2025 09:27

OP you said your DH is Catholic but you don't include yourself so I will assume you are not. Perhaps you don't grasp the cost of what belonging to a faith can mean. Your DH should know though, and it's his attitude I take issue with!

You could move to the area and enrich your family's life by making new friends of another faith and culture, learning from them and extending the hand of friendship. However, if you approach this with 'oh dear my kids may be lumped into the abused group' then your mental attitude is all wrong and you really shouldn't move there. You can choose another area and forget all about it, you have the luxury of doing that, others here do not.

Your DH should know better, though. Remember one day it will be the Christians too. Christians are being severely persecuted in various places around the world, it's only a matter of time before it begins in the UK (or wherever you live now). Then your husband and potentially children will suddenly find themselves in the oppressed group and won't be able to run away from it, and they will be the ones people don't want to be neighbours with, or spat on in the street. It's a sobering thought.

Personally I'd rather extend the hand of friendship.

This was a much nicer way of capturing my vague thoughts.

Leebto · 29/07/2025 11:05

Don’t move there, you’re already weirdly othering them, and judging the neighbours on some second hand gossip, you haven’t even met them?!
And how you’re talking about them is weird “staunch Israeli” would any other nationality be called that, do we have staunch Australians, Germans, South Africans, Ah look at them “staunch Australians” talking about their country Confused

as for “But maybe I'm just not encountering it and it is out there...”
yes antisemitism is out there and has been widely reported on throughout the media:
UK records second worst year for antisemitic incidents, charity says - https://www.reuters.com/world/uk/uk-records-second-worst-year-antisemitic-incidents-charity-says-2025-02-12/

SilverDoublet · 30/07/2025 00:21

Leebto · 29/07/2025 11:05

Don’t move there, you’re already weirdly othering them, and judging the neighbours on some second hand gossip, you haven’t even met them?!
And how you’re talking about them is weird “staunch Israeli” would any other nationality be called that, do we have staunch Australians, Germans, South Africans, Ah look at them “staunch Australians” talking about their country Confused

as for “But maybe I'm just not encountering it and it is out there...”
yes antisemitism is out there and has been widely reported on throughout the media:
UK records second worst year for antisemitic incidents, charity says - https://www.reuters.com/world/uk/uk-records-second-worst-year-antisemitic-incidents-charity-says-2025-02-12/

Sorry, I should have put that in quotations, 'staunch Israeli' wasn't my words as such, it was how another parent I know described this family, as they have been keen to discuss the war with anyone at any opportunity apparently.. I know nothing about it. I'm non religious, tend to listen to music rather than the news, and my life is very busy and revolves around work and my family. So I'm sorry if I have caused offence. I am just trying to learn something about it all if we are moving there.

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 30/07/2025 09:27

@SilverDoublet everyone has busy lives with families and work, that's no excuse to refuse to engage with the world. Yes, there are horrible, horrible things happening to Jewish people all across the world. If you spend 1 minute looking outside your music and family, you'll notice all sorts of problems for Jewish people, black people, Muslim people... there is racism and sexism and violence everywhere. if this is a genuine post, I'm pretty confused as to how you've managed to miss this.

I can't stop you from continuing to live within your privileged world, but know that many, many people don't have that option. I really, really don't think this neighbourhood is for you if you are refusing to engage with the wider world at all.

SilverDoublet · 30/07/2025 12:22

PurpleThistle7 · 30/07/2025 09:27

@SilverDoublet everyone has busy lives with families and work, that's no excuse to refuse to engage with the world. Yes, there are horrible, horrible things happening to Jewish people all across the world. If you spend 1 minute looking outside your music and family, you'll notice all sorts of problems for Jewish people, black people, Muslim people... there is racism and sexism and violence everywhere. if this is a genuine post, I'm pretty confused as to how you've managed to miss this.

I can't stop you from continuing to live within your privileged world, but know that many, many people don't have that option. I really, really don't think this neighbourhood is for you if you are refusing to engage with the wider world at all.

PurpleThistle, I am aware of what is going on in Gaza, I have not digging deeper into what is going on for Jewish people all across the world. But I asked the question as I am aware of issues. But I am not in UK, media coverage is different here, with other issues taking precedence.. It is not 'my privileged world'.

And yes I probably do have a much busier life than you, with elderly parents living separately and alone, 4 young children, elderly aunt who we are moving to a nursing home, full time new job and training. Thanks for your understanding.

OP posts:
Helpins · 30/07/2025 12:25

SilverDoublet · 30/07/2025 12:22

PurpleThistle, I am aware of what is going on in Gaza, I have not digging deeper into what is going on for Jewish people all across the world. But I asked the question as I am aware of issues. But I am not in UK, media coverage is different here, with other issues taking precedence.. It is not 'my privileged world'.

And yes I probably do have a much busier life than you, with elderly parents living separately and alone, 4 young children, elderly aunt who we are moving to a nursing home, full time new job and training. Thanks for your understanding.

Out of interest, which country are you living in?

BrinkWomanship · 30/07/2025 17:24

OP I think you’re asking questions in good faith but the prejudice you’re showing unwittingly is very ‘othering’ to Jewish people. As a secular Jew, I’m slightly offended TBH. We all lead busy lives and I appreciate it’s hard to get past the biased headlines so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

If you give a little more info about where you might be moving, then someone will be able to help you. Each Jewish community, just like Catholic communities, has its own distinct character so it’s hard to answer your query.

Also, please have a think about how shit it is for us Jews to have to have security at our schools, places of worship and in our streets. No one else has to. Perhaps the odd word of empathy or sympathy would mean you wouldn’t get so many posters on this thread’s backs up. Antisemitism and anti-Zionism is at an all time high and Jewish people around the world are genuinely frightened for our safety. I know I am.

SilverDoublet · 30/07/2025 19:20

It was not my intention to offend so I am sorry. There are not many Jewish people here as far as I am aware, this is why I ask.
Are you in London or another city in UK? I didn't know Jewish people were afraid for their safety in my area but perhaps they are.

OP posts:
Helpins · 30/07/2025 19:27

SilverDoublet · 30/07/2025 19:20

It was not my intention to offend so I am sorry. There are not many Jewish people here as far as I am aware, this is why I ask.
Are you in London or another city in UK? I didn't know Jewish people were afraid for their safety in my area but perhaps they are.

Anti-semitism exists in every single part of the world. Google the country you live in and ‘anti-semitism’ and there will no doubt be articles you can read to learn more about it.

Letstheriveranswer · 30/07/2025 19:50

I think you can safely assume that the majority of Jewish people in the western world are currently very afraid.

Jewish schools and institutions have needed security for many decades.

Every single day (literally every single day) we are seeing the most disgusting antisemitic abuse online and sometimes in person. Very often, people use the code word 'zionist' in that abuse because they think the REAL problem are the Jews who want to have their own safe country and be left alone to live their lives, same as any other people want.

Surveys show that half of Jewish people have considered leaving the UK due to antisemitism in the past couple of years. So if you do buy this house you may not have Jewish neighbours for more than 10 years or so.

People have a range of views on the details of the war in Gaza but my belief is that the majority of Jews recognise that if Israel did not retaliate at all, there may very soon have been no more Israel and that affects all of us. You will not find many people willing to enter into conversation about it because there is so much misinformation and lies being told and usually the seemingly innocent questions, once answered, uncover pretty antisemtic beliefs.

As for the 'staunchly Israeli couple'......Israel and the Jewish community is extremely close knit, and almost every single person in Israel knew someone murdered or taken hostage on October 7th. People are traumatised and locked into constant vigilince, checking the news constantly, talking about it, fear, anger, processing and reprocessing events. On top of that there is the war, the rise in antisemitism, the ever increasing climate of fear to also be processed. Maybe your friends could consider all of that and realise that their neighbours are likely struggling with PTSD?

Whether or not Jewish neighbours are friendly will depend a lot on a)whether they are ultra-orthodox..the more religiously observant that people are, the more likely they are to keep themselves to themselves. It's not personal.

b) whether they feel you are othering them, or c) asking them if they agree with what's happening in Israel (already quite a leading question in it's tone)

Also, Mumsnet is full of people asking faux innocent innocent questions about things related to Jews, and the war, and they probably ask knowing full well that within 10 posts it will descend into a snakepit of antisemitism. This happens every 3-4 days. Hence suspicion here about your initial post and follow up questions.

If you are looking for safety, an uncomplicated life and neighbours you have common ground with so your kids can play, you might be better off looking for another house. You have the choice to walk away from exposure to antisemitism.

Oldglasses · 31/07/2025 18:37

I live in quite a Jewish area and there are all sorts around from Muslims to orthodox Jews. Everyone seems to rub along OK. I don't go around talking about Israel to all and sundry, everyone just goes about their own lives. My rabbi lives about a minute's walk and my synagogue is just under 10 mins walk away, but there's also a Catholic school and non-denominational schools as well in short walking distance. Charedi/orthodox Jews def don't mix with gentiles, they keep to themselves, but regular more secular Jews mix with everyone.

SilverDoublet · 31/07/2025 22:27

Letstheriveranswer · 30/07/2025 19:50

I think you can safely assume that the majority of Jewish people in the western world are currently very afraid.

Jewish schools and institutions have needed security for many decades.

Every single day (literally every single day) we are seeing the most disgusting antisemitic abuse online and sometimes in person. Very often, people use the code word 'zionist' in that abuse because they think the REAL problem are the Jews who want to have their own safe country and be left alone to live their lives, same as any other people want.

Surveys show that half of Jewish people have considered leaving the UK due to antisemitism in the past couple of years. So if you do buy this house you may not have Jewish neighbours for more than 10 years or so.

People have a range of views on the details of the war in Gaza but my belief is that the majority of Jews recognise that if Israel did not retaliate at all, there may very soon have been no more Israel and that affects all of us. You will not find many people willing to enter into conversation about it because there is so much misinformation and lies being told and usually the seemingly innocent questions, once answered, uncover pretty antisemtic beliefs.

As for the 'staunchly Israeli couple'......Israel and the Jewish community is extremely close knit, and almost every single person in Israel knew someone murdered or taken hostage on October 7th. People are traumatised and locked into constant vigilince, checking the news constantly, talking about it, fear, anger, processing and reprocessing events. On top of that there is the war, the rise in antisemitism, the ever increasing climate of fear to also be processed. Maybe your friends could consider all of that and realise that their neighbours are likely struggling with PTSD?

Whether or not Jewish neighbours are friendly will depend a lot on a)whether they are ultra-orthodox..the more religiously observant that people are, the more likely they are to keep themselves to themselves. It's not personal.

b) whether they feel you are othering them, or c) asking them if they agree with what's happening in Israel (already quite a leading question in it's tone)

Also, Mumsnet is full of people asking faux innocent innocent questions about things related to Jews, and the war, and they probably ask knowing full well that within 10 posts it will descend into a snakepit of antisemitism. This happens every 3-4 days. Hence suspicion here about your initial post and follow up questions.

If you are looking for safety, an uncomplicated life and neighbours you have common ground with so your kids can play, you might be better off looking for another house. You have the choice to walk away from exposure to antisemitism.

Thanks for your detailed reply. Your 2nd last paragraph is really strange to me about the faux innocent questions. I had no idea people would do that. Mine was a genuine post. I didn't realise UK was so anti semitic. Thankfully we don't live there and I don't think where we are is anywhere near as bad as that but there is some pro-Palestinian sentiment being cultivated by social media.

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 31/07/2025 22:38

SilverDoublet · 31/07/2025 22:27

Thanks for your detailed reply. Your 2nd last paragraph is really strange to me about the faux innocent questions. I had no idea people would do that. Mine was a genuine post. I didn't realise UK was so anti semitic. Thankfully we don't live there and I don't think where we are is anywhere near as bad as that but there is some pro-Palestinian sentiment being cultivated by social media.

If you told us where you lived I’m guessing we could show you plenty of examples of antisemitism. The Uk is far from the worst, there are terrible things happening everywhere. Or just google it.

stomachamelon · 06/08/2025 23:34

Not a regular Mumsnet user then?

stomachamelon · 06/08/2025 23:37

Also I would just like to draw attention to the information that’s posted at the start of the Jewish Mumsnetters thread. Respectfully….

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread