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To just give up now?

36 replies

MegGriffin1 · 20/06/2016 22:10

Pcos. Clomid failed. Should I just do me and the world a favour and give up ?

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 20/06/2016 23:02

I just dont care. Everyone seems to hate their kids anyway
Really? Why did you start the thread if you're so certain? I don't mean that as a criticism-it sounds like a defence mechanism to me (having tried to convince myself of the same).


MegGriffin1 · 20/06/2016 23:04

Well most people spend their lives moaning about their kids. Id rather not be that dull accept it and move on

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 20/06/2016 23:08

Well most people spend their lives moaning about their kids.

I don't think that means they wished they hadn't had them. Confused

I'm really struggling to relate to what you're saying and I don't want an argument - for me it was heartbreaking to accept kids wouldn't happen. I'll wish you luck with whatever you decide to do and leave the thread.


Davegrohlstalkermum · 20/06/2016 23:08

If you feel you can move on then that's a really positive relief isn't it?


MegGriffin1 · 20/06/2016 23:09

Yes Dave its starting to feel that way

OP posts:

Davegrohlstalkermum · 20/06/2016 23:13

That's a good step. I'm very fortunate in that I never had to "accept" it because our fertility treatment worked, but that said, I had mad full on give-up-your-life treatment so I sort of fought very hard. If I could have stepped away happily then I would have, but it didn't feel like an option.

I wish you contentment and happiness. X


BipBippadotta · 21/06/2016 10:16

Just want to say, Meg, I've felt the way you seem to be feeling, and it's awful.

No treatment seems to work, it's easy for everyone else, you begin to wonder more and more whether this thing you're wrecking your life for really is all it's cracked up to be... you look at your own family of origin and your relationship and acknowledge the bits of it that are difficult, and think 'how is this going to be better with no sleep and less money and tantrums?' You look at your friends with kids and their lives inspire a mixture of envy and extreme boredom. And then at the same time you're left with a feeling of failure and alienation, and all the world constantly reminds you that you're missing out on the most precious experience there is, and the thing that makes you a woman.

Leaves you feeling quite flat - hard to think where the pleasure & joy in life has gone and whether it will ever come back. Or that's what it's been like for me, anyway.

I tried until I physically & emotionally couldn't do it anymore. I do feel better for having stopped. But it took a couple of false starts - stopping trying and then suddenly getting a resurgence of hope.

Let yourself feel despondent. I'd suggest trying to talk a bit to your partner about how you feel & see how he feels. It's a bizarrely hard thing to do but it made things so much better & clearer with my DH. Flowers and hang in there.


Vixxfacee · 23/06/2016 13:09

Hi Meg, sorry to hear the clomid didn't work. It does often help people ovulate but I think they told me chances of conceiving on it were pretty low odds. I also have pcos. I tried 3 months of clomid (different dosages) and it did absolutely nothing.
I had ivf afterwards and got pregnant.

I would say with infertility and pcos that clomid is just the start of the journey.


Lottapianos · 23/06/2016 13:15

OP, you sound utterly sick and tired of the whole damn thing and I don't blame you. You do get fed up of having your head full of the baby issue. We live in such a pro-natalist society and there are a lot of messages out there telling you that being a parent is the only real way to be a woman and a grown-up.

Well its not, and lots of us on here are proof of that. How would you feel about shelving the whole issue for a few months, and seeing how you feel then? Give yourself a chance to live without the baby issue hanging over you, and give yourself some times. On the other hand, if the thought of 'giving up' makes you feel relieved, then maybe that's the right choice for you. I know that feelings are complicated and you are probably feeling lots of different things right now, and that's perfectly normal.


MegGriffin1 · 23/06/2016 15:58

I kind of think the odd are crap so why put myself through this? Ive developed pcos due to long term pill use so that annoys me. The hospital lost my bloods so i have no idea where im up to aswell. Im due to double the dose next month so ill do that but i just think sod it if im honest

OP posts:

Northants1986 · 26/06/2016 22:34

My partner and I were aware we would have problem having a second baby after he received treatment for cancer. Nhs turned us down as we already have a child together. We can't afford the iui and all the tests that go with it, but we are so desperate for another child. Out first was born at the same time my partners cancer was diagnosed so trying to enjoy our new baby with all the stress of his treatments and illness was so stressful. Now he is cancer free and enjoying life again we really want to experience baby no2. My question is.. Has anyone tried at home insemination? My partner banked before his cancer treatment started and we are thinking about collecting strands and doing trying it at home ourselves. It's our only option at this point in time I just hope it works 😢

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