41 and about to start either IUI or IVF

[Darkchoc]

Hi everyone

I am really new on here and have joined for support and honest answers if possible as I cannot find answers myself. I have one beautiful son, conceived quickly. He is now 3. However I am now single and going down the donor insemination route via a clinic in the north. I am healthy as far as I know and all fertility tests have come back great.

My question is this, am I wasting my time even thinking about trying to conceive via IUI or IVF at my age, 42, in summer? Are my chances really low at 13.9% as stated by the HFEA website or does it depend upon each individual woman and how healthy she is?

I am in a tizz as this is already an emotional rollercoaster and I don't want to waste upwards of thousands of pounds if my chances are just rubbish...I want to be as realistic as possible so advice from others would be appreciated.

Anyone my age ever succeeded?

Thanks x

I'm 41 and in the third week of ivf. my treatment will be the long protocol which will take around 8 weeks in total. im being positive that this will be successful but if it isnt then i would want to carry on with the next treatment asap. i also have a friend who was 43 when she had IUI and fell pregnant on her first attempt.

I hadn't heard of that website. It says I only had a 23.4% chance of having my DD when I had ICSI (I knew she was a miracle). Interestingly it gives me a 34% probability of a live birth baby no. 2 if we did ICSI again, presumably because I'vw had a successful icsi baby. Makes me wonder if we should rethink our decision not to do it again.

Battery Hen, I suppose you have been through IVF? You didn't find it tiring? Or a bit un-natural? You basically put your body through early menopause, then massively stimulate your reproductive system. If you want to go ahead and do that to your body non-stop, then fine. Personally I took advice from respected clinicians, and listened to my own body, and rested between cycles.

I'm pleased it worked for you 4030, we all need to find our own paths and it sounds like you found yours.

My point is that there is no evidence that it is necessary, or indeed that outcomes are better for couples who wait between cycles compared to those who don't.

I know this is an emotive subject, but it is not reasonable to take your personal experience/preference and extrapolate from that that all women ought to do exactly what you chose to do.

Many women are really up against it time-wise, others feel the psychological need to have a 'plan b' in the form of another cycle lined up immediately afterwards.

In answer to your questions, no, I didn't find it tiring, nor 'un-natural', nor did I go into early menopause (Short protocol). I do understand that you did, and you have my sympathy, but you can't project your own subjective experience onto the whole population of women undergoing ivf.

Again a massive thanks for the replies. It is really helpful to follow a discussion around age and IVF and also gaining an insight into personal experience. Yesterday, I awaited a call back from my clinic, promised last Friday, and it never arrived. Once again, I am chasing calls, that do not arrive. Like many, all I want to do now is to get started before another cycle is missed...it's not like age is on my side.

I think the time has come to switch clinics. I saw a reference above to the Lister Clinic and have heard good things about about it. Any suggestions on that would be appreciated! One thing, however, that I would lose by leaving my current clinic is EEVA as the Lister does not offer it. Would this be a deal breaker to you ladies? It would also mean a huge travel, but that may be worth it.

Can't help, sorry, as I'm a lot further north than you. Also, I think you'll find that others' views are affected by their outcome which might be down to luck rather than the clinic. Put it this way, I'm more inclined to recommend mine now than I was after my second miscarriage...

I definitely think it's sensible to work with a clinic you're happy and comfortable with, so if that's not the one you've been seeing so far you may want to look at others.

Don't underestimate the number of visits involved and the travel (or staying nearby) that will be required if you choose a clinic further from your home, though - my cycle (now officially failed, BTW) involved, I think, scan visits on the Friday, Friday, Monday and Wednesday; staying in a hotel on the Thursday night to be able to get to the clinic on time for egg retrieval; egg retrieval on the Friday, and then embryo transfer on the Monday (but it could have been the Sunday or Wednesday, and it wasn't until the morning of transfer that I knew it would be that day). It also wasn't until the Wednesday scan that they definitively decided my egg retrieval would be on the Friday, so arranging someone to come and take me home afterwards (from a city not where I live) on that day was a fairly significant hassle. Dates are very changeable depending on how you're responding to treatment and how many embryos/what quality of embryos you end up with; and there are points in the process where you may need to go to your clinic at very short notice.

I definitely think it's worth going with the best clinic you can - it would be silly not to, given the financial and emotional investment - but do factor in the practical requirements (and financial cost) of lots of travel. I found the treatment fine, but the travel really wiped me out, to be honest! It's obviously totally possible - and plenty of people go abroad for treatment, so it's really all about weighing up what works for you.

Definitely agree that you need to think carefully about practicalities (esp travel). My clinic was 20 mins from home and 10 mins from work (and on the route I use between the two). No idea how I'd have done it all and been able to keep it to myself (as I wanted) if the distance had been greater (particularly when I stupidly ran out of drugs (twice)).
Good luck with whatever you choose.

I used the Lister, and would def recommend them (am currently pg after first cycle)

I also live outside of London and had all my scans and bloods done locally with the results faxed to the Lister same day. The consultants at the Lister managed my day to day treatment during stims and I had daily contact with the Nurses there.

I only actually attended the Lister in person 3 times - once for my initial consultation, then again for Egg collection and Embryo transfer.

It was quite a challenge to find a local hospital who were able to get my bloods back before 4pm on the day, as this is the Lister's requirement, but it can be done and saved me so much hassle and stress.

They don't offer EEVA, and only you can determine whether this will be a deal breaker for you. Do you know what your AMH is? If it is super-high and you are likely to produce loads of eggs/embryos, then it would be more of an issue than if you had a lower one and would therefore be more likely to have only one or two embryos to choose from anyway.

I think the points about travel are so valid. It's brought home to me the extent of travel involved. I am at the beginning of my journey so its a steep learning curve (learning all the time) and travel is clearly not something to be under-estimated. I have now ruled out the Lister on those grounds.

Thanks for the answer about EEVA too btw.

I spoke with my consultant yesterday, such a relief that he contacted me. He answered my questions and said my chances of success are close to 20% on the basis of my test result. Does that tally with the experiences of others at the age of 41 (fast approaching 42)?

I'm 41 and single.. I had IUI through a sperm donor last Friday and fingers crossed i'm pregnant. I had a miscarriage with my ex last year and decided as my clock is ticking and sadly no partner, I decided to go it alone.. My body is already changing and some of the symptoms I didn't get last year, so fingers crossed!! Good luck

First of all, I had forgotten all about this thread I created, so thanks Bex for bringing it back up as it helps to see and read the experiences of women over 40 going through IVF/IUI. Fingers crossed too Bex for success with the IUI, not sure if it was a medicated cycle?

Just wondering how everyone is getting on who posted on this thread?

Ha, ha!...I look back to my original post and read that all my fertility tests came back great. I later discovered they were not (yawn)...the original clinic I used misled me over my AMH, which I only subsequently discovered through my new clinic some weeks later. Anyhow, I've just gone through and failed my 2nd round of IVF with donor sperm. Producing top quality embryos (not many though) but they just aren't implanting. Awaiting follow-up consultation now to see how to move forward.

Hi Darkchoc. Hope you get some answers. Don't give up. Mine kept implanting then being lost early. Never found out why.

Anyway, mine is due 4 August so I'm 35 weeks and not loving the heat!

This is such an interesting thread... i hope contributions continue, although I really did not appreciate how much age can be a factor.... I am taking the ostrich aporoach.... I am going to also start praying to a higher power as at 41 with pcos I am not so certain of my chances...
I just started my second cycle of natural iui with donor sperm this morning.
Bonne chance to us all!

Hi darkchoc. Sorry to hear that your 2nd ivf failed.

Are you able to get some checks on your immune system? That seemed to be the source of my problems (good embryos that wouldn't implant). I went on an immunosuppressive regime (aspirin/prednisolone/clexane) and it made all the difference for me.

Sorry to hear about your last cycle darkchoc

I had a look at that IVFpredict.com and TBH I found the predictor on the Lister site gave a more accurate picture for my personal circumstances

The IVFPredict gave me a much better chance than I likely have, as it went off my actual age (33) rather than my apparent ovarian age (practically pre menopausal due to premature ovarian ageing)

The Lister calculator let me enter my FSH and AMH, and so calculated my chances through a more realistic lens, given my severely diminished reserves. Although hopefully at 33 I have age on my side as far as quality is concerned (and Dr keeps saying quality is what matters, and DH reiterates the mantra that 'it only takes one') - but sadly IVF is a numbers game, and with DOR, I'm likely to be a poor responder, and fewer eggs means I'm really gonna have to hope that whatever eggs we can get are of decent quality...

BTW I found this site really useful for explaining stuff - I'm preparing for my first IVF cycle

www.advancedfertility.com/age.htm
www.advancedfertility.com/ivf-age.htm
www.advancedfertility.com/age-eggs-chromosomes.htm
www.advancedfertility.com/eggspregnancyrates.htm

(It's both depressing for me as it reminds me how crappy my reserves are with my shocking FSH and AMH levels, but was v helpful and a bit reassuring insofar as it does help a bit on understanding the relationship between quality and quantity)

This is specifically about IVF over 40 - obv the stats are US rather than the UK, but just another data point that may or may not be interesting / useful

www.advancedfertility.com/fertility-after-age-40-ivf.htm

xx

Sorry forgot the page I found most useful to understanding the whole egg quantity / quality issue:

www.advancedfertility.com/eggquantityquality.htm

In my case, I may have a reasonable proportion of green dots to red dots, but the number of dots to choose from is much much less, so fewer green AND red dots are likely to be retrieved (if any!)

I'm just about to embark on my journey using fertility support. Also have an almost 5yr old, conceived naturally. Would love to hear how those on this thread got on.

Hi
This may be a long shot as I can see this post was from 2015. I am in a similar situation. 41 contemplating IUI. I was wondering if you were successful. X