Parents should be forced to stay at home when their children are suspended from school

[Caligula]

Blair's latest big idea

He he he. This made me laugh.

When they say "parents", do they mean "mothers"?

Not read article. But just wondered...if a child is excluded from school (which actually I found didn't happen that much, as schools tend to keep them in school despite terrible behaviour, or use internal exclusion units firsst), what should happen to that child? Who should look after the child and ensure he/she is staying at home doing something beneficial and learning from their mistakes?

Surely you're not suggesting the parents do this, Hulababy?

btw finished old job yesterday, going to new school today.

really pleased especially as a girl pushed past me to get out of the room and then refused to stay behind. I told a member of SMT who said what do you expect me to do about it?

I said nothing as it just wasnt worth it seeing as my last day.

Good question Hula. And if it is the parent, then the government has got to stop telling parents that the only valid life choice they've got, is to work in the cash economy. They can't do that and take time out of the workplace every time their kids have a problem at school.

I would have thought that LEA's would have devised some kind of strategy now to have no such thing as exclusion from education - exclusion from school yes, but tbh for some kids, if hanging around a shopping arcade is the alternative, then excluding them isn't really a punishment. And if their parents are the stereotyped feckless idle poor, then what on earth is the benefit of making the kids stay in the house with them for 2 weeks (or however long the suspension is)? Surely they ought to have some kind of funded place where excluded kids can go and get well-funded and well-researched attention with their education and behavioural needs, until they are ready to be re-integrated into their ordinary classrooms. But that would cost money, of course, which would frighten the voters.

I don't know, zeb. It's a hard one. I think, in a way, I can't control my children's behaviour when I'm not there. I mean, obviously I've done my best to show them how to behave and teach them what's acceptable and will praise/express my horror at their doings as appropriate but that's as far as I can go.

I once taught a boy who was completely out of control yet his mother seemed to have no problem with him. Exasperated after the third call home that week she snapped well I will just have to sort it myself then.

So on Monday morning she came into school with him, she sat next to him at every lesson, during his break even continuing to chastise him through the toilet door. She stopped a week and was much firmer than we had ever been, by the end he was begging for mercy! He was a changed boy afterwards, not an angel but if he ever strayed too far we would only have to remind him of his mother's week in school and he would turn over a new leaf immediatley!

Of course one day that boy will have to go out into the real world and behave without his mother at his side but if we were able to get him to settle down in school and get a few qualification he stood more of a chance.

Lol twinset. Maybe that would be a better solution than exclusion? I suppose it depends on the parents having the control in the first place though.

I can see their point about what happens to children who are excluded if there is no one at home to supervise them. However, forcing parents to take leave in order to do this is just not workable. Also what happens to that family's right to confidentiality? Unless the parent lies to their employer about their need to take leave, the family's problems are going to be public knowledge.

What is probably needed, but would cost money, is an exclusion unit which caters for all excluded children in a given area, with specialist help for whatever their problems are. Haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if someone else has suggested this. It needs to be totally "uncool" but effective. I quite like the idea of having a parent sit in with a child for a week - probably the ultimate punishment for any child with street-cred! However, that takes us back to the question of leave from work.

TSAP - that's a very funny story. Perhaps it was the sheer embarassment of having his mum in school with him?

Blimey TSaP. I'm amazed that the school allowed that to happen. Isn't a bit odd that she had such control over him, but that the school couldn't establish the control? Because he obviously wasn't out of control at home, so what was it about school that made him so unmanageable? That's really strange - did he really just need his mother everywhere with him? How old was he?

That's really funny, Twinset. I like to think that I would try to do as that mother did. The one good parenting legacy my mother left me was to be (literally) on top of my kids if I didn't like their behavior. She moaned about people who just sit on their backsides and yell at the child, but don't get up to physically stop bad behavior, so child just carried on as normal...

Hercules - great news; feels good being out?! Hope so How is your new school - good vibes?

Caligula it has happened in two of the schools I have taught in, it has come both times fom the parent rather than being suggested or enforced by the school. Maybe it isn't that rare, but it seemed to work.

I think this boy was fourteen, the other one was a silmlar age. Lots of kids get into trouble at school because there are just too many of them playing up, both schools in question had a discipline problem. THe teacher just can't keep all of them in control, but the mother was just focussed on her son so could control him. Many boys just get into the wrong crowd and act up for their friends in a way they would never have done at home.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that most boys do have great respect for their mothers, I was always touched to see some of my most difficult students carrying bunches of flowers around town on mothers day. Many boys are horrified if you tell their mothers how they behave, particularly catholic boys from irish stock! I can remember one boy telling me that he wanted to give me a good seeing too at which point I marched him into my office phoned his mother in front of him and repeated word for word what he had said. he never said it again. Equally I have seen dreadfully behaved boys behave like angels if it means I will make a positive call home.

Hatstand I am sure embaressment was a factor, she seemed to dress more outrageous every day, bought baby photos in one morning and was forever petting him.

If my daughter was a nightmare in school I would go in, not to embaress her but so that I could know exactly what was going on and deal with it.

I was under the impression you were talking about a much younger child! OMG it must have been excrutiating for a 14 year old!

But also, don't teachers feel their authority is being undermined by a mother having to go in and exert control like that?

I think we were all relieved that something was happenig that might actually work to be honest.

And perhaps watching him sqirm after taking hell from him and watching him wreck the education of others was worth feeling a little undermined!

I can imagine, Twinset!

It is frustrating as a teacher to see so many parents abdicating responsibilty for their children and at least this mother was saying this is my son and I will do what it takes to sort the problem.

I think this is what Tony Blair is trying to do, maybe it is not well thought out but at least he is addressing the issue of kids who are expelled and then are left unsupervised and turn to crime, drugs or worse.

TSAP: love what mum did. it doesn't undermine the teachers imo. in fact, once kids know that the parents will not let them get away with bad behaviour at school, they will behave. It signals that the parent and school are singing from the same sheet.

in my school, we remind kids that if they cannot behave for us, we will have their parents come in and go to lessons with them. School legend has it that it has been done successfully though not since I joined. I am lucky that I teach in a school where parents are on the whole supportive.

the kids get the message real fast as they know parents will not be thrilled if they have to give up their daily routine to babysit their teenager.

ds1's manstream school were unable to control him and kept escalating incidents. They wouldn't let me in to have a look. So in the end I sent in a Behaviour Management Plan for them, told them to make sure that every member of staff dealing with him had read it, made sure it was pinned above his workstation and hey presto they began to manage him better.

T hank god I don't have to do that sort of crap anymore. His new school now manages him far better than I do and I frequently think "oooh I wish John (his teacher) was here" he'd sort him out.

I'm with Scummy- the mainstream kept not managing his behaviour-I wasn't there- they should have been dealing with it. I couldn't deal with it if I wasn't there. Luckily I had some spies who told me enough for me to realise how they were cocking up - and allowed me to write a behaviour management plan. I would have quite happpily shadowed him for a few sessions.

Funny how some schools are so open to such parental involvement, and some not.

But how could anyone do that if they were doing a full time job? You can only do that if you are either not working full time, or you have an extraordinarily understanding employer. And how many of those are there?

it'll never work! end of !