Mothering Madness

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Anyone seen the Times 2 this morning article about a woman who moved from France to Washington (USA) and was staggered by all the crazy cookie baking, school inspecting, extra curricular activities by the American mummies

It was very interesting

Actually I'd forgotten how much there was to do in organising a proper birthday party at home. Ds's last two have been at soft play at his insistence. I'm knackered now but at least have done tons of gardening and my baking. i'm a bit like lunavix though - people were shocked that there were home made buns at DS's first birthday party.

I do think there is pleasure in household management, I really do (at the risk of coming across as a loon..)
I think the whole convenience food/cutting corners/time saving lifestyle that is rammed down our throat leads to more dissatisfaction,especially for sahms. How could you ever feel good about feeding your kids microwaved crap or spraying some nasty air freshener about instead of having a good clean.

Yeah I must admit, like Delia says there is a beautiful pleasure in baking a cake. it makes the house smell yum and really only takes half an hour or so.

I like baking and cooking and knitting and sewing and all kinds of stuff like that and like to do it. Feel under no pressure to HAVE to do it tho. Have had loads of comments from people along the lines of 'wow home made cakes Arent you great Put the rest of us to shame etc etc.' and it makes me feel awkward and like Im showing off which Im NOT its just thatI like doing things like that. I do however leave alot of the housework to dp who likes doing it. Hes actually now got sucked into the baking thing and has made cheese scones and bread recently.

Maybe we should give ti all up and become 'Asda Mums in a Million' like in the advert

I recognised a lot of myself in the article, I sew, bake etc. I take home made cookies/cakes to dd drama club and if we visit friends i alays make something to take with me. Like moondog I like running my house and I like preparing a great meal that I know is healthy. I love cooking froim scratch, the thought of putting a pizza in the over or chips under the grill sounds deadly dull and soul destroying. My dp is always telling me to calm down when I am cooking last thing at night! Birthday partes are my forte!

I used to rush home from my sewing class to see desperate housewives! Dp calls my sewing box my BreeBox! But I am hapy and I feel fulfilled, I think domesticity is only a problem if you are pretending to be something you are not.

I also probably obsess over my daughter but I think this is because before I had dd I had a challenging fulfilling career and all this energy, drive and enthusiam has gone into dd ( although I do study and work p time)I see motherhood as my career ( that sounds quite cold but I think you know what I mean) so I strive to do the best job that I can. I have also had to fight tooth and nail to give my dd the settled home life that we have so I am making the most of it, amybe overcompensating for the dreadful life we had when she was tiny.

Well, I'm glad there are a few of us. Quite,Tarantula,I'm not trying to show off either. God,it's hardly rocket science to cook is it? Just requires a logical organised approach.
TSAP, what you say is interesting. I too had a wel paid career which I will go back to. I don't think what you say counts cold-on the contrary,it sounds strong and noble.

I hasten to add that like anyone,I can get fed up being at home. My worst bugbear is I suppose the mess and disorder that the children create. I hate chaos!!

can i use this thread to tell you all that in teh last week I have made a merry go round birthday cake and a mermaid birthday cake. My no baking for a year (dds' birthdays are a week apart)rule is now fully operational.

Well impressed! I'm crap at a plain round cake,let alone anything more ambitious!

mermaid cake was most amusing actually. Plain round cake covered in blue icing for the sea, big lump of chocolatey goo on top for a rock, a few chocolate shells and then - the best bit - the top half of a 1.99 fake barbie bought from the Londis (whose hair keeps falling off) (her legs fell off too, but seeing as mermaids don't have legs that worked to our advantage)and a fish's tail expertly crafted from fondnat icing by dh when he got home from the pub. I drew the line at his chocolate nipples and made a very tasteful pink icing shell to cover up her ample assets. Still not feeling that the evening's entertainment was over we had to find something to put it al in, failed and so wrapped big boobs mermaid up in cling film, which bordered on the downright wierd. good clean family fun all round

Love the idea of the bikini and crafty recycling of cheap-o doll!

The mermaid cake sounds great! I confess to quite a lot of housework, baking, sewing etc. Like moondog though, I'm sick of inviting people to dinner and never getting invited back - after 3 or 4 times I think perhaps I'm a mug! I love baking - great way to get rid of extra energy - and I hate all the additives in cakes and bread - especially 'flour improvers'.

Haven't read the article and have only skimmed the thread (so, should I bog off I wonder?!) but wow, hatsoff at mermaid cake, v impressive!

Simple cake tip for those with boys, and not enough time for anything too facncy when it comes to birthday cakes. Take/make one square/oblong sponge cake, cover in chocolate buttercream, rough up one side and scatter the occasional choc chip or whatever around as stones, make lines on the other side with a fork or icing comb, and add a small toy tractor. Hey presto - ploughed field cake!

moondog - I think you are my virtual twin!!

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Agree with Moondog. I love baking, sewing (especially stuff for the dressing up box), cooking from scratch, growing tomatoes and herbs, cleaning out the cutlery drawer, the fridge, cutting the boys hair, making jam... but I like to get on with it quietly in my own house. I also really hate the organised activities and playdates. When my sons friends come over, they may get home made cake and pizza for tea, but I also leave them to get on with playing in the sandpit/playroom.
Would never turn up to someone's house with home-made stuff. Just a bottle of wine!
Those American mums sound loopy. Would be my idea of hell.

Cupcakes..
Lunarsea,never mind the kids-my dh would love a ploughed field cake being an agricultural sort!

Pruni,no cakes aren't smug at all. However, my current conspiracy theory is that multinationals are steadily deskilling us (in that we are encouraged to buy, buy, buy)and succeeding in establishing the notion that home made things are...odd.

I mean, 'they' sell us milk for our babies,when we can provide it free,produce a disposable version of just about everything,discontinue things like carpet patterns after a season or two and so on, and so on.

How many of us could cope if left to our own devices?
Walking around town in this part of Turkey this afternoon,I was struck as always by the sheer ingenuity of people. There are cobblers and tailors on every corner,bread shops do a roaring trade yet are little more than a shack,few bags of flour and a wood oven,children are selling all sorts of wild herbs gathered on the hills and oil drums are recycled as plant holders.

I am not for a minute romanticising the poverty and misery of a large percentage of this mainly Kurdish city,but bloody hell,compared with some emasculated British bloke struggling to put up a shelf from Ikea or a woman ramming yet another packet of McCain oven chips joylessly into the microwave-!

When I was little I loved (actually still do) the Little House on the Prairie books. The bravery and creativity of those people was unbelievable. Imagine just setting off in a covered wagon like that. Wow!!

Maybe one day when we wake up and realise that we've forgotten how to wipe our opwn arses,we'll realise that it all went horribly wrong a long time ago.

I need to know that dh and I can do things ourselves for our children.

MD, Harvey Nicks sell an arse-wiper - it's great. Disposable, so you can use one each time, obv. Comes in a diamante-studded holder (not recommended for actual arse-wiping though, for reasons of diamante prickle).

hunker....

Note my crafty introduction of b/feeding!

There was a thread about blocked toilets a while back. General consensus of MN emplyed plumbers was that those arse wipe things are bad news for toilets-not biodegradable at all apparently....

my mum told me a story today about a small child at nursery who apparently came out of the loo with his trousers round his ankles and said "who's the chief arse-wiper round here?"

Hatsoff-!!!!!

Not sure whether this article is a true reflection of American 'Moms' anyway, when we lived there I was the only one to hold birthday parties at home with food that I had actually cooked - with homemade birthday cake too - I think it depends on where you live in the US - the Mums in this article probably have some sort of help in the home, or are full-time Mums.

The ones that I met in New York couldn't even be bothered to take their kids to the park (massive generalisation there!) as they were taken to most events by their childminder - Parties were planned by a party planner and the whole event would cost $$$$$$ for instance!

The Nannies Diaries, Amazon link:

www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/014100892X/ref=pd_sim_b_dp_1/202-6167215-9714226

Is a true reflection of the life of a New York child - the parents are barely involved in their childs life and have hired help to do virtually everything for them