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Original poster

Another social services story

67 replies

dilemma456 · 31/05/2009 11:11

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OP posts:
johnhemming · 31/05/2009 14:27

She doesn't have a significant learning disability.

Another case where the official solicitor was appointed was one where the mother who does not speak english failed an IQ test she was given via an interpreter.

johnhemming · 31/05/2009 14:28

Incidentally on this case most of the legal work is being done by the mother, her brother and myself.

Quattrocento · 31/05/2009 14:39

Edam I can assure you that this problem is NOT confined to Notts. Really. It's inbuilt into the system. People with low IQs face a continual battle in these situations.

sarah293 · 31/05/2009 14:47

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KingCanuteIAm · 31/05/2009 14:50

At the risk of sounding cynical, do you really think SS are going to get an over-haul (that will make any difference) even if she does win? It seems as if the previous "over-hauls" have been little more than a public display to get us off their back

LeninGrad · 31/05/2009 14:55

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FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 14:56

FFS when are some social services going to start living in the real world?

My mother should have had me taken off her from the bloody start but oh no, she was given chance after chance and that has fucked me up far more than had i been adopted or placed in a long term foster home.

social workers should have to justify their decisions much more and they need someone who has been through the system to advise them. They make decisions then fuck of home and I bet the vast majority of them never give it another thought.

dittany · 31/05/2009 14:58

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KingCanuteIAm · 31/05/2009 15:04

Lenin It seems initially because she was only spending 2hrs a day with the baby when she was in special care after she was born.

sarah293 · 31/05/2009 15:05

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pavlovthecat · 31/05/2009 15:09

She was probably traumatised herself by the birth, by having a poorly boy. I can't imagine how dreadful and disempowering it is to have a baby who you cannot help get better. Sometimes withdrawal is a coping mechanism in case baby does not survive. Not sure how that evidences not being clever enough to parent.

KingCanuteIAm · 31/05/2009 15:11

I am sure there was more to it than that but the idea that 2hrs a day is not enough is odd. For a start I had no idea there was a minimum requirement to "prove" yourself to the staff and secondly, is 2hrs a day too little? I admit that a lot of mums would want to be there 24/7 if they could but we are not all the same. I would be concerned if she "popped in when she was passing" or stayed for 10 minutes then was gone again but 2hrs is a fair chunk of the day isn't it?

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 15:12

I agree pavlov. No one told me my son was going to be fine until the 3rd day when the midwife asked me what was wrong. I told her I was worried about him and she said Oh he is fine. I then bonded totally with him but still feel sad for those first couple of days.

pavlovthecat · 31/05/2009 15:13

2 hours watching your sick child helplessly is a long time imo. Different people react to pressure differently. Not wrong, just different.

But like you said, must be more to it than that. Surely you would not have your child taken away from you and adopted because you only spent 2 hours with them in hospital ?

KingCanuteIAm · 31/05/2009 15:19

I agree. I have not been in that situation but situations that are out of my control make me very panicky, I can't sit still, being quiet makes it worse and being like that for too long makes me have difficulty breathing. (I assume this would be called a panic attack?)

Although I have not been there I can feel the panic in me at the thought of having to sit by a sick babies bed, not being able to hold, touch or help. I am as certain as I can be that I could not sit there hour on hour, day after day. No matter how much I wanted to IYSWIM. None of that would mean that I didn't care or wasn't capable though

StewieGriffinsMom · 31/05/2009 20:04

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FairLadyRantALot · 31/05/2009 20:12

surely if she was learning disabled or whatever,she just would need to get adequat support to help her not have her child taken away....that is scary...

sarah293 · 31/05/2009 20:15

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Kutner · 31/05/2009 20:20

I really don't see why the two hour visits were a 'trigger' for involvement?

DD was born in the QMC in 2006 and spent some time in NICU. From what I saw whilst there short visits to some of the babies was normal.

KingCanuteIAm · 31/05/2009 21:33

I was under the impression that short visits were fairly normal too, taking apart Holby City type influences, the whole situation must be huge for a person to cope with - especially if they are on their own dealing with it

edam · 31/05/2009 21:52

John Hemming, thank heavens you are helping 'Rachel'. I do hope somehow the legal process makes sure the adoption doesn't happen while the mother is still fighting her case - although having followed similar cases, I'm not confident about that.

One of my friends is a neonatal nurse. I have the impression from chatting to her about her job that short visits are not unusual. Very stressful environment for parents, who can feel like there is nothing for them to do, the nurses are in charge and meeting all the baby's needs.

Sadly, she often has to look after babies who are perfectly healthy but SS are involved - presumably with reason, I don't know and neither does she. Just has to look after the babies while SS go through whatever procedures they are going through.

nappyaddict · 31/05/2009 23:21

I'm confused. What has not being white got to do with it?

KingCanuteIAm · 31/05/2009 23:23

Non-whites tend to get the harsher end of the stick. Sad but, frequently, true.

johnhemming · 01/06/2009 21:26

There has been quite a bit of extra publicity today.

SomeGuy · 01/06/2009 21:30

So for what reason has she been deemed to be incapable?