mum at 66?

[ilovesprouts]

sorry if this has been done allready .. mum at 66 after ivf what do you think ..

men can naturally procreate at age 66. Women can't. Whether it's a sensible idea for a man to father children at that age is another matter.

whether its sensible or not, its not our right to ban it.

The gender thing is a bit of a red herring. I have never heard of a 66 year old man deciding to become a single parent. Male fetility does decline with age.

I am not sure about banning OAPs from becoming parents, but what this woman and her medical team have done is extremely selfish and morally wrong. I wish there was less publicity about it, that will only encourage more

In effect it is banned in this country. This lady had to go abroad for her IVF!

I think that she is misguided for several reasons, not only her age. She said that she was well off and wanted a baby to inherit her money. This implies that she doesn't have much in the way of family; not having an extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins (obviously no grandparents!) will be another loss for the child.

My mum was perfectly fit and healthy at 66 but when she was 74 she developed dementia. this is hard enough to deal with in your 40s, but for a small child with (possibly) no other family it would be awful.

I wish her luck but I think she has made an awful decision to have this baby.

She is an exceptionally selfish woman.

This debate about "should not" be allowed and talk of grandparents looking after the grandchildren.

Fair enough. Yes, some grandparents make a fine job of being childminders or guardians of their grandchildren.

What this woman is choosing to do is go through a pregnancy at her age and with all those risks to her and the baby and for what? To prove a point? For money - has she not heard of the children's charities desperately in need of help?

My dad died recently, he was 50 when I was born and my mum was 40 so I know something of having older parents but this is ridiculous. While everyone goes on about the rights of the mother - what about the rights of the child? It is not an accessory.

Oh and in regards to dementia. My aunt is 61 and has Alzheimer's, my dad had dementia towards the end. It doesn't respect age or relationships, it just wipes them out.

This woman is just yet another example of selfishness - the "I want and therefore I'll have" society.

Unless you know what arrangements this woman has made or that she is definitely going to suffer from ill-health or die in the not too distant future then how can she be judged as irresponsible and not caring for the child?

If this woman had a family history of dementia, early death etc maybe she wouldn't have made the decision to have a baby at this age.

There is a reason that god only gave women the chance to have babies to a certain age. this is unnatural and is no way the same argument as to why younger women should not have IVF they are not doing anything against nature. If this lady so wanted a baby before she had 30 years to do it. I am afraid I suspect she suddenly realised that her carear women status would not keep her company in old age!!!!!

"There is a reason that god only gave women the chance to have babies to a certain age."

And that is...?

stitch - I'm not quite sure of your line of argument here.

Nobody is proposing that men of 66 are banned from fathering children. They are (mostly) naturally able to procreate at this age. Most wouldn't want to, and probably wouldn't think it is a great idea, but that;s a separate issue.

The issue here is that the mother is not naturally falling pregnant. She has artificially been made pregnant at an age way beyond normal childbearing years.

katedan, the religious argument always falls flat to my mind. if God didnt intend for humanity to be able to do something artificially, he wouldnt have made it possible to do so. ie, if he didnt want clongin to happen, then he woulnd have made cloning possible. again, if he didnt want women to have children beyond a certain age, then he wouldhnt have made it possible for them to, with a little help.

violethill, just because she is older, you want her not to have fertility treatment. my entire point is that you cant say that. you, or society doesnt have the right to ban people from having the treatment just because they are a certain age. woulld you ban a homosexual couple from procreating with a little help from ivf? of course not. so why with age? its the same argument.

But clearly society can say that stitch, because there are sound reasons why giving birth at 66 may not be good for the child (or indeed the mother). The woman was not able to have IVF in this country, precisely because the medical profession do work within certain parameters.

Is every woman who has fertility treatment screened for their suitability to have a child? Should/are people who have lifestyle or family history that puts them at risk of dying young be excluded from having treatment?

just because something is possible doesn't mean it should be done.

I speak as the daughter of parents who were considered extremely old when I was growing up in the 1970's - my mum was 32 and my dad nearly 50 when I was born. Both my parents died comparatively young, so I had lost them both by the age of 25. I found coping with their deaths - I am an only chid and have no other close family - incredibly difficult. From what I have read, this lady has no close family, no partner...where is the support network for her and her child? Even if she lives to 80, her child will only be in his/her mid-teens by then.

I think that her actions are selfish. Being able to pay for something shouldn't mean you can make it happen - hence the controls on fertility treatment in this country.

My MIL is now at the age which this woman will be when her child is in her early teens. We have just put her in a nursing home.

Mentally, she is as well as can be expected of an 82 year-old- she does not suffer from dementia or Alzheimer's or anything like that. But that is still a long, long way off being as mentally resilient as a 50-yo.

You couldn't, for instance, have a shouting match with her- she is just too frail. SO what will this 14yo do- forego the teenage stage because her Mum is too old?

MIL is beginning to find it much much harder to make decisions- her mind is simply less elastic. She has got to the stage of life where she needs to lean on other people. Us. Which is fine, because dh is a grown man. But what about a 14yo who needs somebody else to be in command.

Most healthy 82yos I know are beginning to get physically timid- again not ideal when you are bringing up teenagers.

I am sure she will make arrangements for if she dies. But what if she doesn't die, but carries on living with her child. IME most frazzled grandmothers looking after grandchildren are actually in their 70s rather than their 80s, that makes a huge difference.