Rachida Dati and her ill daughter

[Pennies]

I can't find a link anywhere but they're discussing it on the radio at the moment.

Rachida Dati - female French foreign minister who came under a lot of fire for going back to work 5 days after having a C-section to her first and only daughter and who continues to keep schtum about who the dad is, so effectively she is a single mum.

Well, her daughter is now 4 months old and was taken ill at the weekend and rushed to hospital whilst her in the care of Rachida's sister whilst RD was at a wedding. The baby remains in hospital and RD has gone on a trip to the Middle East (work related, not a holiday).

What do we all think of this?

Dati is still in the government but will be leaving next month to take up a position in the Euro administration

I think she is nuts, tbh

nuts = bonkers

Sorry, haven't read all the posts but the father is Jose Aznar, former priministro of Spain.,

Aznar was certainly rumoured to be the father, but he vigorously denied it.

a married Jose Aznar?

don't the french have far more hospital beds & admit people earlier, keep them for longer etc?

so being in hospital isn't the same 'about to die' kind of issue that it is in the uk. so the baby could be ill, but not as horrifically ill as a UK baby would have to be before being kept in.

also, she went to the wedding THEN the kid got ill, if the op is correct. so, she went to a wedding , the baby was ill & taken to hosp. then a few days later she goes on a much planned & politically important foreign trip.

personally, it would not be a life i would choose to live, but i don't think i'd judge her too harshly for that.

I'm on the fence on this one - seems like she has an alternative/extended family type co-parenting arrangement. so unless her baby was very ill then hey, not my way of doing things but none of my business.

Before she knew she was going to end up pregnant she was very indiscrete, she showed texts from Aznar to all and sundry and they did have a fling at about the right time. There's no evidence that she even slept with either of the other two guys in the picture!! Some Arab guy and Francois Sarkozy!!! As if!! definitely don't think she'd have got the sack if it were Francois.

If it weren't Aznar, he'd be rushing to take a dna test to prove he's not, but he's said nothing. He has 'officially' denied paternity. HIs wife knows though, you can tell by the look on her face when they denied it!!!

Thank you ProfiteroleThief and yes it was hard work. But I am/was not at anywhere near the same sort of level in my career as RD so while I could be there at my DS's side, I can see that might not be possible for other women.

What I should probably also say is that the moment my DS was released from hospital, my mum came to stay and I went back to working 15 hour days for the next two weeks.

I'm not the world's worst mother, neither am I the best. But I know my DS feels very loved. I suppose my point is that I think we are at rather a crossroads with regards to career equality and child rearing. Castigating a woman for being a bad parent because she went on a business trip while her baby was in hospital without knowing what the trip was/whether the baby was seriously ill/any of the context at all is rather sad I think. It's just another SAHM/WOHM debate as far as I can see.

If we truly believe women should be able to work and earn the same as men, then we need to accept that some of us are going to be in the sort of jobs where you can't down tools at the drop of a hat. Or else we are always going to be stuck in menial jobs because we're not terribly reliable.

Sorry, that turned into a bit of an essay. Oh and apart from that first para, was not directed at you personally profiterole!

ps I am crap at waterskiing luckily

hey - she's algerian - her sister is probably the baby's second mother. We are not talking about a UK nuclear family here.

Agree, spicemonster. You put it very well.

Spice, Im a single mother and although I'm not working NOW when I was working they used to say "if we can do without you at christmas we can do without you". There was no excuse for not being there. That was the culture, which I know a lot of my friends who worked for charities or civil service found absolutely draconian and beyond belief.

Thanks blueshoes. Yes, MsMargot, I too have friends who work in other sectors (which apart from a handful of friends I've made through work, is most of them) and they are gobsmacked at the hours I'm expected to put in at my job.

I have now changed firms and have moved to a much lower pressure role with bugger all prospect of promotion but there are still times when I barely see my DS during the week.

It's a very hard thing - I've worked really hard to achieve what I have in my career and I don't know how to do anything else. I either go for a very low/poorly skilled job and give up my flat so that I can have a bit more time with my DS or I carry on as I am. Security for both our futures or more time together. Very tough decision.

Sorry, this thread isn't about me but it is an interesting issue. I was at a work dinner last night, talking to colleagues about the fact that there are such a dearth of women at the top of our profession. But to get to the top, you have to work hideous hours. And those hours usually come when you're in your 30s. The guy I was talking to (who is quite senior) said that he and all his peers have SAH wives. So if you're a single mother, it ain't going to happen basically!

I also worked for a long time in a profession with hideous hours. There are no female partners in the company in which I worked, despite the graduate recruitment being almost 50% female. None of my former female colleagues either work in that company or its competitors today - basically all women were pushed out of the profession by the constraints of working such long hours and the incompatibility of those hours with any kind of personal life.

I have just moved to a company where most of the senior staff are women and have childrne [smug emoticon]

They still work long hours though not quite as ridiculous as some of the make dominated industries I've worked in.

I don't know if the French Minister has maternal feelings towards her child, if she has bonded with her or if she is just trying to maintain the appearance that she can still do a high power job whilst having a small dependent baby because she has the right support network. My only advice to her is to remember that the thing that childen want most of all is to know that they are wanted and that their parents have time for them. Everything else is just fluff.

In my opinion, if you choose to be a single parent and have chosen to exclude the other parent from the child's life, then you should be prepared to make sacrifices for that child and should care less what other may think about your commitment to your career.

I chose to have my children and in doing so, I chose to downgrade my career and I am glad that I did, especially as my organisation is now making people redundant. Companies don't give too hoots about the sacrifices you make with your family in order to meet a deadline that is important to them. When they are ready to toss you to one side they will and all you will remember is the time that you wasted on them at the expense of being with your family.

Ask the numerous men and women who have worked all hours for their companies only to be told "sorry, you are now surplus to requirements".

I use to work all hours and when I look back now, it is just a load of bull. Over 80% of the things that were supposedly urgent could have been delayed until the next day. It was all about feeding the ego of some self-important, narcisstic ogre who was only interested in impressing his/her managers and trampled over his/her minions to do so.

The trip was a very short one and the baby is better.

She has been busy dealing with striking prison wardens for the last couple of days.

kew You mentioned trouble at your company last year. Are you now safely in a new job?

yes thanks- can you beleive I was headhunted (first time ever) and left two weeks before the oldcompany was sold - even managed to squeeze a bonusout of them for work I did after leaving.

Big relief though.

Kew, glad it has all worked out so well for you. Really happy to hear that. Headhunted + bonus, fab!!

I'd say she's either a really selfish cold woman who really doesn't care for her daughter, or she has very severe PND and hasn't properly bonded with her baby. I really hope it's the latter for the poor child's sake.