Obama wins: How do you explain this day to your children?

[morningpaper]

How are you explaining the news to your children?

Do you mention race and if so, how?

I've just found out my seven year old son has no idea what a black person is! They've done Black History month but he was clearly clueless - bless him. He just doesn't SEE colour at all. He has black friends, Chinese friends, mixed race friends, Asian friends and if I asked him to describe them he'd say, 'the one with the red t-shirt' or 'the one with long hair'. I think there is a risk if you bang on about race and disadvantage with really young children, you risk creating the image of black people as eternal victims.

DD is too young to appreciate but I look forward to discussing the significance of today with nieces and nephews.
How exciting that in future generations the President's skin colour will not even merit a mention.

Doodle2u - My DD is 1 of 3 non-white children in her school - for her the whole issue is very real and scary - she was bullied for over 2 yrs and being black/mixed race was a 'weapon' the child bullying used

Both our junior and infant schools did work around Black History Month, in which Obama was mentioned alongside black political figures, writers, actors, musicians, sports stars etc. so DD (10) and DS (6) were very clued up on it. DS said 'Yay, the one that looks like Lewis Hamilton won!'

I agree that there's no point forcing issues on kids but it's never too early to answer questions about race, politics, religion etc. in as frank a manner as possible - and I think it's great that most kids have lots of questions to ask.

What an exciting day!

DD is 2 so there have been very few explanations.

I said to her over breakfast "this is a monumental occasion". As if she would understand what monumental even means! I just felt like something had to be said I suppose. It also helps me fix it in my mind, so I can tell her when she's older where she was and what she was doing when she found out.

OK, I need to think about this a bit more in light of what you've taught me but as a quick reply:-

We want the same end result but we are approaching it, with our children, in different ways.

I want my kids to feel utter outrage, burning outrage with fire in their bellies, when they come across any kid of prejustice, which they will. I want them to feel the injustice and be totally intolerant of intolerance!

To achieve it, I want them to not see colour first. I want them to feel the impact and to deal with it. I don't want them to think "There's an instance of prejustice. Happens all over the country & has done for centuaries. Must try & do summat about it".
I want them in there, tackling it head-on!

That's the thing isn't it Puzzle. I want DS growing up not seeing colour as an issue at all. I therefore understand why people might not want this election to be judged on colour but it IS significant and it marks a moment in history.

Mabanana, see Mrs Matties post. The election of Barack O is a really positive thing because she can now show her son a positive image of a powerful Black male. Same for me.

My Dss are mixed race. DS1 (7) does sees colour but not as a negative. His dad is peach, I am brown, he is light brown etc. He does not feel a victim because he knows who he is. Just becasue race is mentioned, it does not have to be in a negative context.

I agree with FJ.

My eldest is 3.5 but surrounded by children of all races at nursery and our adult friends are pretty multicultural. It would be nice not to ever have to explain it ( esp as some of our mixed race friends have a complex heritage which just shouldn't need explaining) but I will try to teach her about racism when it comes up.

MP, my ds actually explained it to me, as I was sound asleep and he had got up early!

Dd is 7 and is to some extent aware of the significance of this election, especially as they have just done Black History month.

Ds is only 4 but when I took him to school this morning the teacher had the news on the white board so they will no doubt have a little talk about it.

I don't know.
My dd is three and has no perception of race. We are white as are most people in our village. She has a black friend at nursery and I am worried it might be risky to even implant the idea of difference at this point.
To use an analogy, if you were to say to a child of that age that some silly people thought there were monsters under the bed but there weren't really, you would still have implanted the idea of the monsters under the bed. What if it primes the child to then look for difference?

Kerrymum- yes it helps to be ecstatic when you support what he says too.

I explained him being a man of colour and why it was important in America.

In Britain it was lovely to not make a big deal about Lewis Hamilton being the first black formula one driver.

Different countries, different explanations needed.

What really struck me was Dimbleby asking race related questions and the American journalists stumbling with answers and they kept saying that race had not been in an issue in the election. It had, obviously, but they are too embarassed to draw attention to it and is also why Europe is further ahead with racial equality (generalising here)

What happened with Hurricane Katrina must never happen again and the only way to stop it is to raise the profile of people of colour.

So happy Obama won

much like morningpaper - i explained a bit to ds (6) on the way to school, about how some very silly and unkind people think that skin colour matters and how the fact that the most powerful man in the world has dark skin is a hugely important thing. i also explained a bit about how america is the most powerful country in the world and so who the president is has a massive impact on the rest of the world, even though we don't get to vote for him.

he said 'does that mean the president is the prime minister's boss then?' - out of the mouths of babes

is anyone else really emotional this morning? it feels like the last 8 years have been a bad dream we're just waking up from...

Kathy you are right.

We would never point out other differences between children to our preschoolers - except maybe gender - and it is horrifying what they make of that difference.

My son is totally, instinctively, against any form of prejudice or discrimination. He would be appalled to think of anyone assuming anyone was lesser because of their sex or colour or anything else. I don't want to burden him yet with the horrors of the past. I told him it was wonderful news because the other man was a bad man who wanted to start lots of wars, and was friend with people who liked to hurt and bully other people. Which actually, I think is far more important.
As an adult, I am hugely moved by what this means for black people, especially in America with its appalling history of slavery and oppression.

Kerrymum - I disagree. I am not naive. I do understand his politics. I agree that the whole bureaucracy thing is an issue whoever is in charge etc. and I am not expecting thw world to suddenyl become rosy. I'm waaay to old and cyncial for that.

However, I am delighted and relieved Barack won because of his politics.

I cried because he is black.

That is not naivety.

Kerry, I can't believe you don't see the significance of what's happened.

Do you know any black people?

(not that anyone has to be black to realise this of course)

unbelievably emotional and tearful here hellsbells.

kerry didn't vote and doesn't care.

i'm really sorry for you! if you can't feel hope and a glimmer of light today then when can you?

Kerrymum, I understand your cynicism about what's really going to change in the US, but I'd rather pass on a bit of optimism to my kids; a feeling that it IS possible for voters to make a difference. Plenty of time for them to grow their own cynicism. Why, I remember that day in May 1997 when I practically skipped to work, so full of hope and joy. And look what happened!

Obama's victory won't change the US overnight, but it's a big step in the right direction, if he has the sincerity and strength to follow through.

has he really won? How bloody wonderful. He has a terrible job ahead of him though and i hope he gets the right people around him to sort it out. Can't believe the world is finally rid of George W. Thank God.