Social services failings

[mamaxbear]

The recent stories that have come out about Sara Sharif and Isabella Wheildon have really made me feel sick to my stomach. Innocent little girls being murdered by their parents and family, what is going on? I understand the huge pressures children’s services are under, but when will there be a change? I’ve had social workers involved throughout my whole childhood, my mum used to verbally and physically assault me and my siblings. We witnessed DV almost every weekend, she drank with her partners and it would just be carnage. When social workers came to assess, they saw that our home was tidy and we had food in the cupboards and off they went. It breaks my heart to think what these little girls and probably thousands of other children have been through or are currently going through. I have a 3 year old daughter myself. My heart hurts for these children.

I see in my records (I have these after doing a SAR), that a CP plan was threatened but never followed up. I feel this should have at least been put in place. I was wandering the streets with my brother knocking on doors looking for somewhere to sleep - this was never followed up from the records I see. This was back in the 90s so I don’t know if things were different then. My career has taken me more into the education direction, it’s not something that I’ve not thought about, but my interest is helping young people in education. Particularly those that struggle with SEMH, school avoidance etc.

I see this from both sides. Yes the parents are to blame because they are the ones doing awful things to their children, however, there will be people that do a manner of things that are awful until mankind no longer exists. There are evil people on the world and that will never change. That is why we require the emergency services and social care whether that’s for children or adults. I also understand that social care is overstretched, however, in the case of Sara, the school reported concerns, social worker decided no further action. There didn’t even seem to be a basic assessment. This doesn’t surprise me. When I left my children’s father and I had to get the police involved due to dv the police made a safeguarding high risk referral to social services. The most contact I had with them was a phone call. A social worker called me and asked me a few basic questions. Do the children have any contact with their father? I said no. What steps are you taking to make sure you and the children are safe. I said I was in the process of obtaining court orders and he would be getting a restraining order through his conviction. She said ok bye. That was it. As we all know a lot of women go back to their abusers and they only had my word that I didn’t. I never heard anything from them again after that

I'm sorry this happened to you, truly. But of course things are different now.

@mamaxbear - I'm sorry that you had such a poor experience as a child. In any job there are people who good at the role and those who aren't. Possibly more importantly some systems are also more effective at some times than others, depending on the pressures, effectiveness of the leadership etc, it should never just be dependent on the effectiveness of your social worker. You ask if things have changed since the 90s and I would say they have quite radically changed. I qualified in 2014 and I would say things have massively shifted in the decade I've been practicing. In my role I see practice across the system and would be the first to say it isn't perfect, there remains so much to develop but I also see incredible life changing social work happening daily too.

Social worker here and have a few general points.

1. We don't have much power at all, a parent can refuse me access to speak their child, they can refuse access to allow me to speak their GP who may well have vital information. I can't look at a child's body to see if there is any injuries.
2. When you first go to meet a family we don't know if they are the next abused child or not. People often say that we waste time on the wrong families well guess what we don't know which families are or aren't abusing their children until we investigate so yes we will deal with low level a lot because we don't have a crystal ball unfortunately.
3. Many a times extended family turn the other way and don't step in to protect the children within the family. This happens so much but will place blame on social workers if something happens.
4. Majority of the times parents deny they are doing anything wrong and guess without enough evidence we can't do anything at all.
5. Schools miss vitals signs all the time and when we become involved with a family and ring them for a check they will say 'oh we have a list of worrys' ok school so why not let us know beforehand.

I know several cases of children court ordered to have regular contact with abusive fathers. In most of those cases the mother was very open about abuse and was terrified of potential consequences on the children, but the father managed to charm SWs and courts who then dismissed the mother’s accounts and assumed she was attempting to poison the relationship between father and child(ren). There’s a real pattern to this.
Luckily none I know have resulted in the death of a child, but as long as those involve cherry pick what they believe and are open to a charm offensive they are letting children down.

@Fluffyunicorn1 This is a good example here and I will explain. Do you know how many domestic abuse referrals we get in on a daily basis, it's the majority of our work. Ultimately it's up to you to protect your child and leave your partner. The social worker spoke to you and deemed you protective as you were seeking legal advice which is a positive step. This is low level.Did you want heavy social work involvement from day one. If we did become heavy involved then this is an example of where you would say we are abusing our power. If you want the case to stay open for support you could have asked for that but I imagine you were happy with the close weren't you.

If a second referral came in and you were back together then it would be a concern and we would step in because your not prioritising your child's safety.

@Fluffyunicorn1 - this will have been screened by what we call the MASH, who will over a week have possibly a 100 contacts similar to yours if not more every week, if each were opened to a full assessment to a social worker then the system would be completely overwhelmed. The social worker will have screened this with you to consider the safety measures for the children (which you shared), they will have looked at the history they hold (was there any evidence that you have previously been in domestically abusive relationships, have you previously said you were leaving this relationship and returned etc), they would also ask the other multi agency colleagues in the MASH to complete checks, so we should get information from school (how the children are doing, an opportunity for school to share anything that worries them), health (school nursing/HV), police (do they hold any other information that is of concern), women's aid and probation may also be asked for information. The social worker will then consider all that information and make a balanced decision. If you had returned to that relationship and there was a further concern raised then you may well have had a different response.

I think that the ratio of social workers to shite parents is not in the social workers favour. It's very hard to police what goes on in peoples homes.

Unfortunately people are getting worse. Society has lost its morals and standards and people are becoming lazier and more selfish.

Yet we're constantly told of MN that we shouldn't 'judge' people. Sorry but if I see some lazy fecker of a mother going to Tesco in her pyjamas with a fag hanging out her mouth, then I'm judging. In fact I'd be tempted to send a social worker to her house to check that her children are being properly cared for.

If we want better public services then we need more people to do the job. Huge caseloads mean that many families don't get seen for weeks or just get a quick phone call. But no one wants to actually pay for more social workers, or more public sector workers generally. There a few many really good social workers, but they are all overwhelmed with the numbers they have to deal with. And, sadly, when things go wrong they are vilified.

This isn’t the case in my situation though. I am lucky that I am a strong character anyway and hold no prisoners so the first sign I recognised I kicked him out. The actual abuse started 2 years later when I met someone else and he had found out. Over the course of that 2 years he had no contact with the kids nor did he try to so we just carried on with life. When I met somebody and he found that out he went into an absolute meltdown. Harassment, threats to kill, turning up at my house, stalking me etc. I originally thought he would just get bored but he didn’t so I reported it. I made a statement with the police, told them why we had split etc and they said that because we were previously in a relationship it would be dealt with by the dv team. They advised me to speak to a solicitor which I did the same day. The next morning the social worker called me. She had no time to find anything out all she had was a police report. Plus it was the 6 week holidays so she couldn’t have spoken to school either. She didn’t ask me when the relationship ended or anything I could have been lying through my teeth. Yes I was glad that they didn’t want to do a full assessment at the time because I had had enough stress with everything going on but looking back I think they should have done. She didn’t know anything apart from what the police had wrote in a report and she was on the phone to me for less than 5 minutes. How can you assess whether a situation needs an assessment or not based on basic information and a very short phone call?

She was under a care plan and nothing was done when she was removed from school she died later that year

They closed a case after six days and one phone call after the school reported concern

He had already abused another child and had been accused of domestic violence

They decided that because mum and dad were making cross complaints of abuse that they would reccomend custody be given to dad someone with a history of violence and abuse not 50/50 with mum just given to dad and the judge agreed

There are many examples coming out of the woodwork of social workers in that area targeting families who have done nothing wrong in that same time period (babies rolling off sofas etc) they were not watching her they should have been and the child paid the price for it

What about a "lazy fecker of a father"? Do you judge them too?

Unfortunately people are getting worse. Society has lost its morals and standards and people are becoming lazier and more selfish.

I don't agree. Society used to be much more accepting of child abuse than it is today. When I started at school in the 70s the head teacher would hit kids with a stick under the euphemism of "corporal punishment". It was not noteworthy if a child came to school with bruises caused by their parents.

What's changed is that back then that kind of thing was considered normal and so wouldn't make it into the news. We hear about it now because society has increased its morals and standards and we no longer regard it as acceptable.

This - and child protection services tend to have more newly qualified staff members because often with some experience they move to other jobs with less pressure (from what I see). Healthcare is often the same - retention is a massive issue because of burn out, low pay, significant responsibility and a workload that doesn’t allow for people to perform at their best or even at a safe level. And then they can gather lots of evidence and judges often feel it’s still in child’s best interest to remain with parents - I’ve never seen a judge held accountable in same way as front line services though.

Foster carer here and I can confirm the lack of foster carers first hand. We have been doing it 20 yrs now and are the only ones left from our era and we are not seeing young people coming through to swell the ranks either. Also most are middle aged or above and many are coming up to retirement age which will make it much worse.
A consequence of this is private providers setting up children homes and charging astronomical amounts ( 6000 a week on average in some areas ) . So they are making huge profits whilst the local authorities are bring bankrupted as a result.
Another big issue though is the way foster carers are often treated and the increasing paperwork and endless training and assessments that are required along with the restrictions it places on the whole family if you do foster.
We actually specialise in children with severe and complex medical issues and disabilities , so the hardest to.place children but we have had to.battle the system.time and time again to get access to respite and equipment and services our children need and indeed are entitled to. It is draining and depressing and adds to.the reluctance of other people to become carers.

And finally we have had some excellent SW but we have also.had some shockers . We have seen breaches and failings that would appall.you.but we also see the stress and pressure SW are under and the toll it takes . We have had up to 6 changes in SW in a 12 month period and the turnover is shocking as people give up and quit. I don't blame them at all and the whole system needs to be overhauled from top to bottom because if I am honest the only shock.i get when I read of these horrific deaths is the fact that it doesn't happen more often.

I think the huge problem here is, unless the child is small (preferably a baby) there is a very little chance it will get adopted if its taken away from its parents. And the alternative - growing up in care homes and ever changing foster care placements - is sometimes just as awful as growing up with crap parents (and I'm not talking about extreme cases here, very often no one can tell for sure if parents will kill a child). Care leavers are very likely to have a bad outcome, a lot ends up on the streets, involved in drugs etc. For these kids, its grim either way so very often a decision is made to leave them with their parents and hope for the best.

What happened to Sara would not have happened if the family had a support worker visiting them regularly, observing the situation and talking to children/ getting to know the family better. Maybe her father would have been afraid to lay his fucking hands on her knowing he would get scrutinised - or maybe Sara would have been taken into care before too late, in this case anything would have been better than living in that house (((

The system needs to be more hands on and more involved, not just punishment but support and supervision - which means more hours spent on each child, more workers, personalised approach - and this costs money. But unless the government coughs up, it will never happen.

She hit the nail on the head. Would love to see how people answer this.

It's a shit show and i'm surprised a lot more children aren't dying with the way things currently are.

"What's the point in having them?"

Do you have a brain?

you said you were prioritising your children’s needs and safeguarding them by going nC with the father…..so they would have have closed the case….your children were safe…at that time there was no role for them....victims can request early help support ( not SWs) if more support required…..SWs can’t stop women returning to abusive relationships …..but if a child is safe at that particular moment then 🤷‍♀️…. Parents also have to take responsibility …..support can be gained not only from early help, but also DV charities

More children aren’t dying because many SWs are putting in 80 hours a week just to keep their head above water when it comes to their caseload….and let’s not forget all the hours they spend hanging around family courts waiting to give evidence or request removals or care orders …..I think most people don’t have a clue about the role of a SW

trouble is people are good at covering up. there are kids who live in squalor but often kids who are badly treated are in neat tidy homes.
a lot of the time its learned behaviour the broken home parents come from broken homes originally.
I understand that SS cannot force themselves into a home but if they had concerns would they be able to be accompanied by Police to force entry? the difficulty is knowing what exactly is going on behind closed doors.

@Kitkat1523 that's my point! CSC is running on goodwill alone at this point. How we don't have more deaths is beyond me.

I'd say more deaths might spring the government into action. It wouldn't. I'm sure there would be a public enquiry blaming SW's.

Look at maternity services, been failing for 15 years. How many more reports identifying failings do we need before something changes?

Absolutely this !Social Workers do not have a crystal ball and they only get a snap shot of a childs life because of their limited resources !
They have zero powers to remove a child without going to court. A judge is ultimately responsible
People would be shocked at the revolting living conditions that some children live in but it is not a reason to remove the child from their family.
The cleanest homes are also not necessarily the safest of homes either.

Or maybe during a visit Sara would have been wearing a full headscarf and dress and not disclose any abuse due to fear. Just because someone visits doesn't mean the abuse will stop unfortunately it's just more hidden