Incentives for SAHMs - anyone read Fiona Phillips today?

[bohemianbint]

Link here

I think if you can get past the slightly guilt-inducing title, what she is basically saying is quite interesting. It's the first thing I've read in a while that doesn't write SAHMs off as useless bovine idiots.

Obviously don't want to start the old fight of working vs sahm, but what do we think about some kind of incentive for mums to stay at home?

FWIW I have recently become a SAHM by accident after stupid sexist boss forced me out of my job - I am taking him to a tribunal. I am looking for work but am pregnant so not sure how that'll go down with potential employers! I'd like to work PT ideally but I feel really under pressure from everyone around me to get a job and stop being a "boring" SAHM.

In some respects 'doing all at once' is better for both employer and employee. Of course it depends upon the business but in my case the school were quite happy as they kept the same temp teacher for the 2yrs and it gave good continuity to school life.

anna, it no doubt takes a long time to change mindset. But not so long ago, a SAHD would have raised eyebrows. Nowadays it is still rare but not unusual. I count know of quite a few female colleagues whose husbands stay at home or who have much less highflying careers than their wives.

It is good to offer SAHD long term job-guaranteed paternity leave. So that he also has the option of returning to work should he decide to.

It won't happen overnight but offering the same parental package to men will chip away at the edifice. My dh is much more involved at home than his father, and who knows, my ds might be even more involved!

Starlight - do not resign! All you are doing is what you are legally entitled to do - nothing more. This is the way the system works. You would be mad to resign!!

Ah right. Didn't read the last bit of your post well enough.

The mindset I want to change is the one that says a woman's mind is resting/goes to mush while she is on maternity leave. So untrue.

I'd like to think that too, blueshoes.
35yrs ago my FIL never once changed a nappy nor was he present at the births of his children and nobody batted an eyelid. Both commonplace and indeed encouraged these days.

She wants to resign. Just after her ML. I still got my full pay entitlement for resigning for maternity reasons BTW.

Starlight - you can't. Both you and your employer are "victims of the system". Fortunately for you (a quirk of history, IMO), you are going to do quite well out of the system.

Women need to learn not to beat themselves up when luck is on their side. Just grab it

Actually Anna, my Dh would love the right to paternity leave. He is already taking advantage of the right for parents to request flexible working and has done leave to care for dependants. He is also doing briliiantly in his career, but our children are his priority and he realises we are both their parents. Also, I am Scandinavian and most Scandinavians I know are very happy to take paternity leave and I cannot see how they can use it to study as their wives are then back at work. What do they do with the children?

My comment to starlight's situation is that people come and go all the time. I sometimes spend thousands on recruiting people only for them to leave 6 months later. Its dog eat dog, but some reason what mothers do is always what people notice the most. Weather they need to colect a sick child from school or don't return after mat leave...its the mothers who are crippling uk businesses. Utter crap of course!

But I was a teacher, so my full entitlement was pretty low...

Starlight - the problem is that the business has to pay you plus another person to cover your job. Recruitment is not cheap and nor is training a new person into a position. Anna is right though and I would do the same as you in the same position.

Yes! Blimey, wasn't suggesting you forego the money .

It's not particularly fair, particularly on the small business, but that's nothing to do with the mother, who should take advantage of all the benefits available to her, too right.

But it's not the same as people just moving on, because of the ongoing nature of it.

However, I do agree with Anna that the mindset I would very much like to get rid of is the one that assumes that if you are a SAHM you are suddenly an unskilled moron contributing nothing. It hampers women returning to work, and it's just bloody rude to women who choose not to.

TM, I'm a teacher too and I went back 2days before school broke up for the summer having had 2yrs off. That was good for me as I then got paid f/t over the hols but obviously could still be at home with DCs.

School were fine with it too as they could finish the temp teachers contract at the exact time they had to start paying me again.

As was mine. Lots of women in teaching...

SueBaroo - indeed .

FWIW, my partner tells me that his opinion of maternity leave has changed since living with me. In the light of his experience with me, he now thinks it should be banned entirely - since women have far too much time to think, plot, plan and hone their analysis and negotiation skills when they stay at home, and this is unfair on men.

Get the women back to the workplace and set their minds on boring, repetitive tasks - that's the way to keep women down

I also started p/t in the sept so the 6wks f/t pay was really lovely.

Staying at home didnt turn my brain to mush but I think pregnancy did to a certain extent; not all of which I have recovered from.

Oh, I know you can extend things alot using holidays. But, like StarlightMcKenzie, I wasn't going back. I was moving to the other end of the country for a start...

Yes. After them being so good and me doing 6mths p/t I then gave notice and we moved up the country to Cheshire.

No choice as DH's job pays the mortgage but I did feel like I'd worked the system then up and left. (Although I didn't know about the move when I did it.)