Boys in nursery schools should not be discouraged from playing with toy guns and other weapons, the government says.

[Iota]

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7163741.stm

now there's a turn-up for the books

hatrick

I am not trying to belittle your dd's experience, but maybe it was the unfamiliarity of the guns that upset her.

For example, my ds1 used to be scared of dogs until his best friend got one.

And I have seen several children be terrified of my cat when he walked into the room - my kids have grown up with him and know he's harmless

I think boys get such a bad press. Running round saving the world and killing bad guys is what they do. They are kids. Let them.

mind you I remeber a "Lord of the flies" type incident in the ball pit at the local soft play. My friend's son was pelted with balls by a number of other boys and was curled up in a ball terrifed by the attack. He was about 7 at the time.

one of the more sensible pronouncements from the government recently.......

fairtrymum can I ask what you mean when you say:
"I think we all can see the difference between a boy who likes to dress up as a pirate and has a pistol and one who is dressed up in army-gear complete with mini machine-gun and bedroom full of tanks:

What difference is this exactly? I ask because my ds2 falls into the latter camp - toy tanks in his room, likes wearing camoflage clothing (and has some ex-army gear) and although no mini machine gun, certainly has toy guns in his room.

He has other interests in his life but I am just interested in what you are saying. Please can you expand?

hatrick, I think it is quite sensible for you to want to avoid toy gun games around your dd. And I think the other father should be sensitive to this. She obviously isn't into those types of games - every child has their own likes and dislikes and it must have been very un-fun to be ganged up on like that.

My ds2 hates roller coasters and I would be cross if he was with friends and their parents who belittled his fear and tried to force him to go on one.

I'd forgotten about this thread - very interesting.

My ds is nearly 4 and I have to say I've learnt a lot about male behaviour/development since he was born, and especially since he started nursery.

I was about to start a mini rant actually but will leave it for now!

Have just caught up with this . Hatrick for your little girl and the dad's response- yes my kids have armed soliders and pirate swords but no way would I excuse this sort of bullying behaviour. The toys would have been confiscated and children reprimanded. However I think children can behave like this without the props, just as they can play war games without the guns .

I think the gun issue is a bit of a side-alley in this whole topic, tbh. The far more relevant question is why we try to squash the male need for copious exercise and exploratory risk.

Because it's not about whether or not a school allows plastic guns and swords - it's about incessantly telling boys to "sit down, be quiet" and basically be more like the girls.

thinking on it though, there can be long term consequences

My brother was very into guns and all that stuff growing up. I mean he was the kid with the camoflague decorated room and a subscription to Jane's defence. Think a mini version of the neurotic father-next-door in American Beauty.

Anyway, he ended up a hardcore Tory . So don't be thinking gun play is harmless, it isn't. And he STILL has a camoflague duvet (and lives in the same room, ie at home with my parents).

Anyway, he ended up a hardcore Tory . So don't be thinking gun play is harmless, it isn't.

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pmsl

Conversely, I had a friend who played with guns as a child who grew up to be a hardcore socialist, Che Guevara t-shirts and everything.

Thinking of the state of the bedrooms of various children and teenagers I know(including my two), it's a wonder they turn into any sort of functioning adult

Agree btw that toy guns are side issue when talking about generally encouraging boys' energetic role play at nursery and beyond.

This isn't new ,I remember there being some research when DS was a baby/toddler (he is 12 now) about boys should be allowed to make guns out of lego at nursery etc as it made them less agressive and badly behaved. It gave many boys a way of releasing agressive behaviour.

lol, dp played with guns and is a hardcore socialist. And pretty much a pacifist really, aside from supporting people's right to self defence (including on a national scale. Cue "The Internationale").

What IS confusing me though is-how are 4 year olds getting the idea in their head to play with guns? Families where guns are used aside-they are a minority. My kids have never seen guns on tv or anything.

I do accept that they may be hopelessly sheltered, and will thusly turn into tories with camoflague duvets living in our spare room, BUT where are these ideas coming from?

There's a difference between making a 'gun' out of toast or lego, and having a proper toy gun. I had no problem with DS making weopons out of sticks etc - no point in trying to stop boys doing that - but I decided that he was not going to have any toy guns that, in his mind, were real guns.

So he had a massive orange water pistol, and a light sabre, but no black guns, and he accepted this. For us, this was the right decision.

I'm with stepford here, just as we play rough and tumble with our son we don't encourage violence, nor do we encourage playing games with a violent format i.e. buy him lots of toy guns.

I think someone said earlier about the difference between a child who plays pirates and makes a gun to a child who has a lot of their toys based on soldiers and guns etc.

I think it's sensible to assume that if those toys are part of a wide spectrum of choice they have then the focus on the shooting is not going to be there as much as if 90% of the childs toys were weapons.

charlieandlolasMummy, I think by four years old, many children are getting into the superhero/pirate phase - transformers, power rangers, pirates of the caribbean etc, so gun type weapons will figure amongst other things. Also when they start school they get exposed to more information about wars and battles, even if its just in history projects and remembrance sunday.

My ds2 first got interested in armies around the age of 4 or 5 years old. He is now 8 years old and the interest is still strong. I have taken the line that as long as he plays nicely I am ok about encouraging this interest as one amongst others. But also, now he is older, I want to give it some historical context so although I have bought him toy guns and taken him to war games exhibitions, I have also taken him to the imperial war museum to see the children's war exhibits and given him books to show him how war affected ordinary people (he's reading a book called 'digging for victory' at the moment - all about rationing etc).

I have also been steering him towards other interests as well - he likes swimming lessons and is learning the guitar and has done a little bit of drama. He's also now at an age where pokemon cards and computer games are taking hold. He has neglected his toy soldiers all over christmas, so perhaps we are now entering a new phase

My dh's mum helped them make weapons.
THey lived near a wood and she'd help them make bows and arrows and I know there were toy guns knocking about.
Two total pacifists btw and v left wing

I have been thinking a lot about the need for exercise and we do not get enough, as a family. So are off for a long run on the beach today and plans for more regular exercise too.

Trouble is ds is a bit of a homebody (well, is addicted to lego).