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Original poster

Social worker visit for letting child walk to school

170 replies

Kathyate6mincepies · 09/12/2007 10:39

Anyone else read this?

Interested to know what people think. I think this shows that the principle of social workers investigating 'all' reports is flawed - it leaves it far too open to malicious reports or differences of opinion in parenting styles.

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 00:52

like i said i'm just saying what has happened for the 19 years i've lived here. i did it when i was 3, and many children on my road have done it since. no one's ever got abducted. it isn't a road that would be used by anyone other than people who live here, the postman, the occasional jehovas witness, the paper boy and a few people who deliver leaflets for the local indian and pizza place.

you make it sound like people get abducted all the time. it is actually very rare. it would be like saying i'm not ever going in a car incase i have a crash.

each to their own i say. i fully believe in giving children independance.

ShinyHappyStarOfBethlehem · 10/12/2007 00:54

I fully believe in giving children independence.. but at 3, that means wiping their own bottoms.

Maybe I am odd. It's quite possible in fact.

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 00:54

that's the other thing i don't get. people who won't leave their baby in the garden alone. if there is no way they can leave the garden because of a fence/gate i can't see what the issue is. no one can get in no one can get out. i've always left ds alone in the garden. when he was born i left him on a rug in the garden, when he could sit up i left him sitting in a paddling pool with balls in it, now he just crawls around or goes in his car.

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 00:55

there are other mners who have done this too. cod and franny being 2 that i can name off the top of my head but i'm sure there are more.

ShinyHappyStarOfBethlehem · 10/12/2007 00:57

I would say the same to cod and franny.

The garden is one thing.. the pavement is another, that's what I was trying to say.

themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 10/12/2007 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 01:06

wasn't suggesting you'd say different to them, was just meaning that other people must think it is ok aswell and that is up to each person to do what they feel comfortable in doing.

ShinyHappyStarOfBethlehem · 10/12/2007 01:19

Ok. Wasn't aiming offend NA. Just that 3 is hardly more than a baby to me.

gingerninger · 10/12/2007 01:25

When I was a child aged 5 I walked to school each day on my own, the 15 min journey crossing 3 busy roads each day. I was unsupervised and independent. I was also vulnerable and put into a vulnerable situation by my parents apathetic parenting skills.
Since the 60's when I grew up society has changed dramatically, yes we played out all day, came home for food learned by our mistakes which we were free to take, but since then both society and child-hood has changed significantly.
I let my youngest dd play out on the street she is 6 and she has played out since being 3, but I sit on the bench outside our house and watch her!
I would not under any circumstances allow her to walk to or home from school alone she is too vulnerable imo (just the right size for an adult to physically pick up) I wouldn't leave her at home alone either.
She is the child I am the parent!! It's my responsibility that she is safe, not matter how much coaching before hand you cannot plan for every accident and as we know in home is where most accidents happen.
I believe this investigation is justified, and would do likewise if this occurred 'in my back yard'

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 01:30

don't worry. no offence taken. i understand that the way i parent may appear slap dash to some but i feel that i would be comfortable in doing this cos that's what i did. BTW i was born in the late 80s not the 60s and 70s when i think it was more common.

Boredveryverybored · 10/12/2007 05:25

This is worrying I think. I've left dd alone in the house, she's almost 7 and I've left her for 10 mins. I am also letting her walk to school on her own when she reaches yr3 in september. Our school is practically next door though with no roads to cross. I can see absolutely nothing untoward in these decisions. Some children will be capable of this at this age, some will be at an older age and possibly some will at a younger age, isn't it up to us to know our child well enough to make these decisions?
I have recently had dealings with ss, (have a thread somewhere if you search) and coming from that I can say I have no faith in ss at all, and quite honestly think them both incapable and exremely dangerous.

cazboldy · 10/12/2007 05:44

She was out of order imo for letting him walk alone, leaving him and letting the little one go outside alone.
Sounds like a lazy person who can't be bothered!

seeker · 10/12/2007 05:47

I think the walking to school is fine - mine would at 7/8ish if we didn't live 5 miles away!

I have more of a problem with the leaving him at home alone. She says for 25 minutes while taking a sibling to a swimming lesson - that's a pretty short swimming lesson! I suspect it's like asking people how much they smoke - you always have to multiply it by 2 to get to an accurate figure! I just don't think that's OK for anyone under about 10 - and for some children net even then.

I have left my dd(11) for an hour or so, but only when our nice neighbours are in. No way would I leave ds - nearly 7, and more to the point, he wouldn't want me to.

AMerryScot · 10/12/2007 06:33

Depending on the circumstances (area, distance, traffic etc), walking to school without mum is fine at age 7. However, I would not think it appropriate for a child to walk alone to school - most kids walk with their friends, surely?

I would not leave a 7 year old at home alone for more than 5 minutes. There are just too many things they can do that, although they say they won't, soon forget when they are alone. It's a naive parent who thinks otherwise.

If a child is too sick to go to school, then I would use the car that day for the other kids.

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 08:39

my cousin has one to one swimming lessons that are 20 minutes long.

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 08:44

sorry have just been informed they are actually 15 minutes.

Eliza2 · 10/12/2007 08:45

Blanket statements about what's acceptable don't work.

It depends on the location, the maturity of the individual child (I bet my nine-year old daughter is more sensible than some 11-year old boys), and the neighbours (whether or not it's the kind of area where people keep an eye out for one another's children).

theUrbanDryAdventCalendar · 10/12/2007 09:22

i think Kevlarhead's post further down said it all, really. great post.

SS really are damned if they do, damned if they don't. all too often they're in an impossible position. if they follow up this call to give guidance is this writer going to claim that SS are harassing her by getting back in touch? i'm very about this article, especially in light of the FL case, Janipher Maseko, and the case i highlighted a few weeks ago where Essex SS removed a baby on very flimsy evidence.

seeker · 10/12/2007 11:26

So swimming lesson 15 minutes, getting undressed and dressed again another 15 minutes, I presume 5 or 10 minutes travelling each way.....still more than 25 minutes.......

Original poster
Kathyate6mincepies · 10/12/2007 12:22

I assumed she was taking the child to the lesson and leaving him/her there, to be brought back by someone else or go and pick him up later.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kathyate6mincepies · 10/12/2007 12:36

Boredveryverybored - I have just read your thread in absolute horror.

Even if we take the view that, as many people have said on here, they simply have to investigate every report because of the dangers of missing something, there is still a serious problem about how they talk to people and the kind of advice they are giving out.

When you think how careful the police have to be about not going beyond their remit, or how much respect teachers are expected to show children these days (with old-style classroom humiliation being quite rightly frowned upon), the idea that social workers can go into someone's house and say 'I'll be back tomorrow to make sure you've tidied up!' is unbelievable.

OP posts:
TheIceQueen · 10/12/2007 12:38

OK - you can all come and shoot me now

I've left DS1 (7) at home on several occasions to pop to the shop down the road, or across to church to get bits and pieces.

I've also left DS2 at home playing on the PS2 while I pop next door to collect DS1 from school.

I've popped out to get DS1 from school leaving both DS2 and DS3 asleep

When DS1 was about 4 - he was playing out the front with the other children.

Next year (when DS1 moves up to Junior School) I shall walk him up there for the first 1/2 term or so - and then he'll walk himself up - and back.

Thankfully I've never had a child that's tried to run onto the road - DS1 was always excellent about roads (and still is) and DS2 has just copied his sense.

However I know plenty of parents in RL who have 3yr olds that have made a dash for the road on more than one occasion - and they are by no stretch of the imagination "bad" parents...

GeekgirlRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 10/12/2007 12:56

icequeen, you and me against the wall!

dd1 (8) has been playing at the nearby playground on her own since she was 7.5 (as do lots and lots of other children in this village), she regularly walks to friends' houses or to her piano lessons by herself, I'd let her walk to school by herself if there was any point.
And I have left her home alone plenty of times, she's sensible, why should I drag her out in the car for 15 minutes to buy milk or whatever, if she's happily sitting on the sofa reading a book?
I have also left her for up to 45 minutes when poorly (obv.not when very ill/being sick, but just under the weather and a bit fluey). She doesn't want to be dragged out on the school/nursery run when she's snuggled up in pjs under a duvet, reading or playing on the NDS, and quite frankly I can't see the point of taking her along.
I'm sure it's a cultural difference - I am German and it it considered completely normal in Germany for children of 6+ to walk to school by themselves or for school-aged children to be at home alone for short periods of time. Nobody would even think of considering a problem.

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 14:04

getting undressed and dressed again only takes a few minutes each so say 5 mins altogether and they might live only minutes away. so that makes 25 minutes.

nappyaddict · 10/12/2007 14:09

totaly agree geekgirl - when i was 7 i was allowed to walk up to the park and stay there for hours! its about a ten/fifteen minute walk away. i was also allowed to walk into the local village and buy things my mum needed. that's also a ten minute walk away. i had to cross one main road (not an a road though), one small road and then another main road at a pedestrian crossing.