Food intolerance of faddy eating? ...India Knight in the Sunday Times

[Upwind]

It winds me up more and more these days that having friends over for dinner involves getting the list of the things they can't or won't eat and then working out how to cater for them. Particularly, this is a problem with my DH's friends' WAGs who all have either a wheat, dairy or red meat "intolerance".

So I enjoyed India Knight's column today That?s no food allergy, just bad manners

On the other hand I don't mind at all catering for friends who seem to have a genuine problem or religious/moral stance - one of my best friends is a coeliac, one halal, another is a vegetarian for moral reasons.

I'm firmly of the opinion that most fussy eaters are made and not born. If my ds doesn't eat what's put in front of him at dinner then he knows he'll get nothing else except maybe a banana. Result? He eats pretty much everything. A good friend of mine however will make a perfectly lovely homecooked meal for her family and if her dd says she doesn't like it when they sit down to eat, my friend will get up from the table and make her an alternative. Result? Her only eats pasta.

I suspect I have a slight intolerance to wheat - not saying I'm coeliac or anything - as it gives me a swollen belly, painful cramps and aggravates my IBS. Looked into getting tested but it was too expensive! However I first started cutting it out in order to try and lose my fat arse, so if anyone asks, I'll say I'd rather not have bread thanks all the same, because it turns me into a bloater.

A lot of mothers of PFBs feel like that, Tamz. Then they have no. 2 who turns out to be a fussy eater and realise they were just lucky first time around.

When I was in my early twenties I had a bad bout of what I think may have been IBS, but was worried it was a return of chronic candidiasis (which I had had in my late teens and was quite seriously ill for nearly a year). As a manager in a big company, and as it was my first job after leaving uni, I went back on my exclusion diet just to be on the safe side. It's incredibly restrictive (no wheat, no dairy, no alcohol, no sugar ... you get the picture!) and I took a packup into work each day, but had to go away on a "bonding" weekend with work, and out for a meal with friends (had to be persuaded into that!!). I still remember now how mortified I was at having to be so "fussy" about what I ate and was really worried that people would think it was just an affectation. Particularly as one of the girls on the bonding weekend was a newly-diagnosed diabetic whose diet was far less restrictive than mine!! I just thanked my lucky stars that it wasn't a permanent situation and for the life of me cannot understand why anyone would choose to "invent" such food issues

PFB or not, I just don't believe kids will refuse food to the point of malnutrition or starvation, unless a) there are serious psychological issues involved, or b) something medical/undiagnosed. Anyway, it's a different topic. Have had this debate with a friend before and it got quite heated; I said that if ds refused his dinner he could jolly well go to bed without, and she said that was tantamount to child abuse.

Each to their own.

Well, I ahve a casein intolerance, not an allergy but it causes severe pain, diarrhoea, absences and otehr symptoms, 2 of my boys ahve inherited it and are prescribed / we re prescribed special milk as babies. One also ahs a gluten intolerance, not unknown in ASD kids apapenlty, which he is.

Actually although i do mention for the boys i dont for myself, jsut take apracetamol and sit in loo a lot (hate to amke a fuss)

so there may be something in her views

My poor BIL was misdiagnosed with IBS for years after tests for ulcerative colitis we re performed abdly, he is now 30 and after retests awaiting an ileostomy with high steroids in the meantime and a real risk his colon could burst!

tiggi- intolerant to gluetn can seriosuly exaccerbate asd symptoms in some kids, it VAn happen- gluten intolerance is a proven thing, although not of course anything like as seriousl as coeliacs

I totally agree that some people (and it sounds as if it's mostly women) may well make it up - but speaking from a very personal point of view, I can only say that India's helpful insight into the world of dietary delights has already meant 2 of my friends saying 'so you've made it all up then' - they are only half joking as they are not the ones who are awake half the night after a pizza. Bl..dy woman. P.S. Of course it's not in the same league as coeliac etc, and I dont' think anybody is trying to say that it is, BUT it's not something to be ignored or derided either.

Overall I agreed with this article.

But there are real reasons not to eat some food during pregnancy. I know someone who contracted toxiplasmosis (sp?) from eating undercooked meat during her seventh month with awful consequences. In France where pregnant women generally eat a lot of what is 'banned' here, the rate of toxiplasmosis is much greater than here. Folic acid is a good idea, we all know that. A reaction being rare is no comfort at all if it is you beating the odds.

That's an interesting point that there seem to be more women than men claiming intolerances.

But there does seem to be a growing trend of people being a little over picky about food generally. At a wedding reception yesterday, I gave my dd a little of everything from my plate that didn't have dairy in it or on it, while the couple next to me only fed their dd, who is 11 months older than mine, things they had brought with them.

I was at a National Trust place the other day and was sitting in the picnic area near a big group made up of two or three families. The children (girls, all in the 8 to 12 age range, from the look of them) were talking loudly about all the things they couldn't eat - the winner announced that she was allergic to fruit and had had a "massive reaction" to an apple and a nectarine. Is this even possible?

Peachy-As you probably know I have ASD kids myself, so am well aware of the link betwenn gluten and an exacerbation of symptoms in some. I was referring to the people who suddenly decide that they are intolerant to "wheat and dairy" for what appear to be dubious reasons, because it seems to be fashionable to do so at the moment.

I wonder is it that these women (ime it always is women) feel that it would be rude or embarassing to admit to being ultra fussy about the food they eat or on a bizarre diet. So they prefer to explain it in terms of food intolerances and there are plenty of people willing to encourage them to believe it and make money from dodgy tests etc.

Recently I was shocked when one of DH's closest friends took DH aside and asked if I was bulimic because I will "eat anything". DH had to spend ages trying to persuade him that he has lived with me for years and years and would know if that was the case. It made me wonder if the aforementioed WAGs think there is something wrong with me because I try all kinds of food and have no intolerances at all.

In truth the quickest way for me to get to work is by cycling four miles each way and that keeps my weight down to the extent that I don't have to worry about what I eat. And I do enjoy all kinds of food

Me too (the food, that is, not the cycling). But then, I associate food with fun: family meals, eating with friends, etc. Apparently I was really picky eater when I was small; Mum says that she got so fed up with me no eating anything, she stopped laying a place for me at the table. I'm told I soon wanted to join in with everyone else and eat whatever was on offer!

Roskva, I think this gets to me because I love sharing food with friends and family.

Did anyone read the end of the article:

"Honestly: no wonder every other person seems to have a bizarre, phobic, unnatural relationship with food. As I never tire of pointing out to pregnant friends who are longing for the odd glass of wine, our mothers? generation smoked and drank their way through pregnancy with no extra folic acid and no adverse effects whatsoever ? and ate peanuts, blue cheese and the rest."

So smoking and drinking in pregnancy has no adverse effects?? And folic acid has no benefits?? And there are not proven, albeit rare, adverse effects of eating blue cheese??. That's ignorant and irresponsible to say the least!

Tiggi- ops sorry, tbh I losetrack of who's who half the time so forgot you ahd asd kids too. CAn I blame preggy brain?

REALLY irresponsible imo for the article to say its OK to eat blue cheese etc- TBH I dont think a fglass of wine occasionally hurts, but whats the point in risking listeria etc? And foli acid- ! many, many years (15?) I went to a talk given by one of the research team who discovered the folic acid- spina bifida link. Blardy amazing stuff!

I agree that the odd glass of wine is fine, but surely saying that you can 'smoke and drink your way through pregnancy' with no adverse effects is ridiculous!

my mum smoked a packet a day when she was pregnant with me. I think that is why even a whiff of ciggie smoke makes me feel physically sick.

I am a fussy eater and was pandered to as a child. I am a vegetarian but my son isn't going to be one (unless he chooses to be) as I'm not going to cut out food before he even tries it. However, there is very little (other than meat and fish) that I wouldn't eat to be polite. Aubergine is the only one that comes to mind.

And some horrible cheeses

A couple of times I have eaten things without daring to ask what they were - I figured that ignorance was probably bliss

I do react to milk (it makes me ill), and I do avoid it.
When I was in my 20s, I had temporarily a lot of food allergies.
I heard a lot of pathetic comments, eg
"You are not ill, you are just imagining things"
"I dont believe in all this food allergy stuff"
"You need to see a psychologist"
This last comment was from a GP that I went to in desparation, to get him to refer me to an allergy specialist. The specialist refered me on to another one, and wrote back to the GP saying that in fact I was suffering from food allergies and a candida infection.

Unfortunately, I dont carry round a certificate with me, with my test results on it. If I did, then I suppose these people would add "of course, I can see you have real food allergies, so I didnt mean you"

India Knight has just fed these people and made life harder for a bunch of people who are ill. Well done her.

I'm a fussy eater.

And I am...allergic? Intolerant? Irritated? ..to various fruits - apples (though less so recently), plums, peaches, figs, and underripe tomatoes.

I used to be VERY fussy when I was a child and it wasn't because I'd been pandered to or because I was trying to draw attention to myself in any way - quite the reverse. My parents ate/eat everything there is, I had plenty of opportunity to try things, I don't recall a big deal being made over me eating/not eating things.

I just couldn't put some things in my mouth - more often than not it's texture-related (I can't bear mushrooms, for instance), but I also have a v highly-developed sense of smell (I can taste melon if somebody opposite me eats it, for instance), so some foods are too strong for me to consider putting anywhere near my mouth - stinky cheese, some fish, etc.

DS1 is v similar to me, despite me being ultra-laid back about food with him, he had ample opportunity to try all sorts of things from the moment he was weaned but he often wouldn't touch things that were "clammy" - like most fruit and raw veg. He's always been a v tidy eater and doesn't like getting his hands messy (same as me - no fingerpainting for me!), so I think it's a texture thing with him too. He won't eat anything in breadcrumbs, for instance.

DS2 on the other hand - weaned the same way, will eat pretty much anything in copious amounts and gets stuck in with both hands.

So for those of you who have one child who either eats everything or is fussy, a lot of it will be nature, I think.

And for those of you who take full credit for your child eating everything - you're deluded and unnecessarily smug and I wish you a fussy eater next time