Have you heard this story about twins being separated at school?

[Moomin]

link here

Would be really interested to hear what other people think...

[Moomin]

McEdam - the twins actually don't do anything apart at all - the mum is quite proud of this.

The newsprint is 2 months old but the TV link is 2 days old. She didn't get her own way so she has kept them at home, and for good measure invited a TV crew along. The TV interviewer speaks to the boys on their own (as in mother was not in shot at least) and they just sounded like little parrot versions of their mum "We always do everything together". She's on the waiting list for another school but even if she gets into that one (where apparently they have said the twins can stay together) she doesn't seem to realise that in Y7 form groups mostly stay toegther for lesson but at some stage (later in Y7 or in Y8) they will be put into sets, and then after Y9 they will be put into GCSE groups

... although of course they will be doing the same GCSEs I expect, regardless of the individual skills and talents of each twin ; and I also presume she will not allow splitting them up within the class, eg for speaking and listening group activities in English; or mixed pairs for Science practical work or PE.

and another for good luck

[magnolia74]

My twins have been seperated since reception which is the school's policy and I was happy with that. They are now in year 3 and still in seperate classes and when they go into high school they will be in the same house but seperate forms (at least thats what I will expect) But in secondary school most puplis are in classes based on their ability so if they are similar in their ability they will be together in some classes.

It doesn't say what THEY want though does it? Sounds very much like their mum is doing a bit too much thinking for them. Such a shame if they don't get the chance to figure out their own seperate identity

[Moomin]

Well tehy say they want to be together - because that's all they've ever known, so of course it would be daunting for them to be 'split'. But the 20mins tutor time would have been a good starting point, I would have thought, to ease them into the idea.

It all reminds me of the Cutting Edge programme a few months ago or more, about the Dutch women who were iden. twins and who had to eat the same things, at the same time, facing each other, so bad was their obsessive behaviour. I seem to remember that one of them at least was absolutely miserable but couldn't see a way to break out of the cycle and the relationship.

[AussieSim]

There is a woman here in Australia who is the CEO of one of our major banks who has triplets and has enrolled them in three separate schools. I think they are 9yo. I had never heard about anything like this before but when she spoke about it it seemed quite a well thought out idea.

[ladymuck]

One of the boys in ds1's school has a twin sister at a different school.

I don't have twins, but personally I wouldn't necessarily be keen to separate at the start of their school experience (which I guess for most children these days is pre-school). But frankly I would be very concerned if they weren't able to cope by the start of secondary school.

[Nightynight]

I think it should be a joint decision between the boys, the parents and the school. Not just something imposed from on high by the school.

[magnolia74]

I wouldn't go to the extreme of seperate schools unless of course it's boy/girl twins going to single sex schools.

Mine stayed together for Nursery which was great but It did them good to seperate. Dt1 relied heavily on dt2 but is now a very independent confident girl like her sister

[Moomin]

How can it be a joint decision when they are at complete loggerheads? It means someone has to back down but she won't and the school won't. She thinks she's doing what's best for her dss but I really don't think she's looking at the bigger picture, ie their lives in the future. She's probably best off finding another school - it's not been the best start to a relationship that will last for the next 5 years; she'll have no prespect for the Head or the school and it's broken the trust that should exist.

[Nightynight]

it could have been a joint decision if the school had told the parents what their policy was earlier, and discussed it.
The parents could have sent their children to another school.

[emj23]

How extremely silly. There were two sets of twins in my year in secondary school and they were seperated into different form groups without any fuss. It seems like a big fuss over nothing, as many others have pointed out, one twin could end up being interested in (for example) languages and the other in sciences so they'll be in different GCSE and A-level classes anyway, they might as well get used to it.

[suedonim]

It's a good thing the mother doesn't live in Nigeria, where they have a very different attitude to twins! Twins are regarded as a lucky omen but parents worry about them being treated as more special than other children. Thus, they will sleep in separate rooms and be in separate classes at school etc.

And when a woman has twins, advice is to have another baby asap, preferably within 12mths, to stop the twins 'getting above themselves'. My nephew, whose dw has just had twins, and also has a 2yo and 4yo, didn't think they'll be following that advice.

[lou33]

i hope they dont end up inseparable like this as adults

[montmerency]

We seperate twins at the school I work in - but only if it is requested by parents - otherwise we keep them together. The twins I have worked with have all been very different - some are identical in looks, personality, skills and interests others can be poles apart.

[ragdollyanna]

I always thought that it was normal practice to seperate twins. I know when I was at school (many moons ago) that we had 3 sets of twins in our year and they were split up amongst the 3 classes.

I could understand her worries if they were at infant school but they are 10 fgs. Surely it is important that children are given the opportunity to grow and become "their own person" - whether or not they are twins.

I also find it very odd that at age 10 they are dressed the same (I do hope that was for the cameras and not an every day occurence!)

[Bouncingturtle]

My brothers are twins and they were separated by mutual agreement between school and my parents in the infants - basically because they were copying each other's work, and also pretending to be the other twin!
It never did them any harm and help them grow to become two individuals. It's not as thought they never saw each other - after all the school has break times where they can meet up if they want!

[LazyLinePainterJane]

So she thinks it's better for them not to go to school rather than be separated?

All twins I have ever known have been separated at school.

[Pixiefish]

Pathetic silly woman.

[LouiseB3]

I have identical twin boys, they are only 3 though. I think it seems strange/silly to make a big fuss and take the boys out of school just for the sake of 20 minutes a day. However, If they ( the boys, not the mum) feel really upset about it, the school should not force them to seperate, they should treat all children as individual, that includes other set of twins. So just because they separate other sets of twins, doesn't mean they HAVE to seperate these ones if they are going to be distressed by it.
If it were mine I would probably want them seperate for some time, but everyone is different.

[SofiaAmes]

A study came out just recently suggesting that it's actually better to NOT separate twins at school. I think this is more about giving a parent the choice to make decisions about their child. Surely the mother knows better what suits her kids than a school that has not even had them as pupils for one day. Presumably if there were issues with having them together, the primary school would have separated them. There is nothing in the article that indicates that the mother has made previous bad choices for her twins or that they have had problems at school. Why on earth isn't she given the initial presumption of intelligence. Especially since current research views question whether separating twins is the right thing. I find distasteful the arrogance of the system that tries to tell us "dumb" parents what's best for our children. Of all the things wrong with kids and schools today, why is a school wasting time and resources fighting a mother who wants her two (happy thriving) kids in the same class?

[LittleBella]

Spot on SA

Will now read the thread

[Blandmum]

SA, but this is in secondary school and the mother will not be able to insist that they are together in all forms, unless they are at the save level of attainment in all their subjects. I've taught quite a few identical twins, and they do vary in ability.

What about the parent who feels that their child, who has not done well in the tests, must be in the top sets?

[ursaferrugineusa]

I don't think the school is actually using any resources to fight the mum - she is just keeping them off school. And it was the primary school's recommendation that they would benefit from separation - if they weren't separated at primary it may well have been because thare was only one class per year?
As for schools telling 'dumb parents' what's best for their child - you really can't expect a school to accept that every mum can say which class their child goes in.

[LittleBella]

I've never understood why schools are so obsessive about separating twins tbh, most of them voluntarily separate round about their teens anyway. I can understand the anxiety about ensuring they develop separate identities but I also think there's a bit of a denial about the very special link between twins - almost as if people are uncomfortable about it.

We had twins one of whom was in my form and one in another, and as they were both at the same ability level and everything was streamed, they were always in the same classes anyway. It didn't do them any harm, they went to different universities, married different men etc.! Yes they did have the same circle of friends, but they each had closer friends within the group. Each of them has their own families...

I'd be interested to see any links to any news reports re twins research, SA.

[LittleBella]

Having said that, this particular woman does come across as a bit er... un-open to suggestion...

[Judy1234]

When ours started school I asked them if they wanted to be split - they did and I asked the school what they did - they split them. I was the only person marginally concerned and yet it's been fine. They are very close and share some friends and always have had adjoining classrooms. I think it's right to split them. There is another twin in their class (it's a boys only school) and his twin a girl is in a different girls' school and that's worked fine too.