Have you heard this story about twins being separated at school?

[Moomin]

link here

Would be really interested to hear what other people think...

[Peachy]

expected this to be our school, as there is an ongoing dispute about them splitting up a set of twins. mum says she wants them together- school says they cant, yet I know the precedent is to keep them together (there ar twins in ds2's class). TBH I think school is being delieratelya wkward, because if ts true as they say that they dont play together anyhow, then it would be easy to place them in ddifferent groups 9they group from reception anyhow).

[wheresthehamster]

I agree with her about the bike thing - it seems a bit ridiculous not to have let them put their bikes in the bike shed. I thought it was going to say that they weren't allowed to come to school on their tandem. Although actually changing schools over it is a bit over the top.

The objection to the 20 minute separation though is completely crazy.

[cornsilk]

They are 10! I expected them to be 4 year olds when I clicked on the link. She needs to get a life of her own.

[TigerFeet]

Bloody hell, kicking off over 20 mins apart???

What if one of them needs a shit, does the other one wait in the bog with him?

I wonder what the boys really think about it??? It's not entirely beyond the realms of possibility that they are playing along with their mother because it gets them off school [I probably would have done that at 10 )

[quint]

I think the mother shoudl get a grip. I know they want to be together, but what happens when they go out into the big wide world and get a job - I doubt that they would be working for the same company.

They are two individuals who happened to be conceived at the same time, they are not one person

[sandyballs]

She sounds nuts. It's worrying to see them dressed identically at that age.

My twin girls are in separate classes.
It is the school's policy unless parents object. I thought 4 was a bit young and would have liked them to be together for a year or so but then it would be hard to decide who should leave their familiar class/friends and start again in another class, so best so split at the beginning.
I'm glad we did because one has turned out much more academic than the other and it would have been hard for the struggling twin to see her sister effortlessly getting high grades.

[katz]

i think someone said it early on this thread, i'm not convinced this is about the twins being seperated but more about changing the school, The mum found a reason to change their primary school and is now looking for one to change the secondary school too.

[LilRedWG]

My sisters are twins and went to different secondary schools after being together all through primary - it did them the world of good.

[Tortington]

it is different for twins - its not like picking a friend.

I think if the woman was upset at her twins being seperated into different form classes - i may understand. but i think 20mins is ecsessive to be kicking off.


I think if you have twins and they are together all the time for 5 year s and then suddenly they arn't - it could be quite traumatic - depending on the child - my point being in scenario one above - it would be more understandable - but this woman just seems to need a life.

[mummydoit]

I can't see what the problem is. Other kids don't get to choose who they want to be in class with. My best friends at secondary school were in different classes and we just met up at break and lunch. Why should it be any different for twins?

[speedymama]

My DTS are 3.5yo and attend nursery 3/4 days a week. The nursery have already spoken to me about splitting them up because DT1 tends to sit back and allow DT2 to take the lead. I personally want them to stay together at this age because I know that separating them will traumatise them both because they don't have the comprehension to understand why it is happening. However, I have no problems with them doing separate activities in the same class and this is what we have agreed.

When they start secondary school however, I would want them to be separate in terms of the friends they have, their personal interests (unless of course they have both have a genuine interest in the same thing) etc.

I think this mother is a bit anal tbh. They are going to be separated for a total of 20 minutes - not 20 hours.

So when one wants to go the toilet, does the other go with him too in order to ensure they are not separated?

[goingfor3]

I think twins should be together in primary school if they want to be but by secondary school all children start to learn responsbility. It's really worrying that they or their mother seems to think they can't spend 20 minutes aprt from each other five times a week, they need to be seperated more than most!

[SofiaAmes]

Here's a link to a us site all about twins. It has lots of info about twins at school and separating or not etc.

[Nightynight]

oxocube - that is exactly what the teachers in bavaria say.
"we all agree, so we must be right"= we always back each other up (no matter how wrong my colleague may be).
"The Ed Psych says so, therefore it must be true"= our official school ed psych always backs us up too.

rusty - I know how to use a'p'o's't'r'o'p'h'e's perfectly well. I just dont because they are a waste of space. (Even in your example, "parents' " could mean all parents or the 2 parents of a particular family)
I dont see why either option would have been difficult in this case. Why does the school believe so strongly that twins should be separated that they are prepared to antagonise the family over it?

[kindersurprise]

I am so surprised that anyone would think it was ok to give twins one birthday card or present.

I teach 4 children in a family, twins and 2 girls, born 2 years apart but on the same day (how about that for a coincidence!) I always send seperate cards, it wouldn't even occur to me to send one card for 2 children. That is just being mean.

[minorityrules]

My best friend is an identical twin, these are some the things he dislikes...
when younger they were dressed the same
getting one birthday present to share
getting one birthday card
being called the 'the twins'
not taking the time to work out who was who (difficult with people you don't see very often, but aunts, uncles and friends of family)

They were separated at primary school and both of them are very glad this happened. One of them is a typical boys boy, the other is much more sensitive, two very very different people and always have been

I think this woman are treating her sons like freaks and I doubt they will thank her for it

When it gets to secondary school, parents have very little say in day to day things like what class, what set etc

These boys need to find their own identities and separating them in school is a good start

[LadyVictoriaOfCake]

bike story

[sweetkitty]

I know someone who has twin DDs age 3 and another DD 20 months, she dresses all 3 identically and has asked they all go to nursery in the same class as she doesn't want them to be alone. Don't know what she's going to do when the DTs go to school and the other one has to wait a year. I have DDs the same ages (not twins) and DD2 isn't at the same developmental level as DD1 so shouldn't be in the same nursery class.

[kindersurprise]

I find it cute when 3 year old twins are dressed alike, but there were twin OAPs in the town where I used to live, they came into our shop regularly. They still dressed identically, spooky really.

If I had twins, then I would like my children to develop their own personalities, have their own friends (if they wanted to obviously) and not always get lumped together as "the twins".

[GodzillasBingoWings]

Lol...dressing twins alike????? Nearly every set i see in my town are dressed alike - well into their lives!

[kindersurprise]

I think that she is being ridiculous. Just read that they changed primary schools because they weren't allowed to ride their bikes to school.

It is unreasonable and selfish to inflict so much change to her childrens' lives because she does not agree with the school's policy. A change of school is a big thing for a child.

As to seperating them for 20 mins, FGS they are 10 years old! I find it rather creepy tbh, the way she dresses them the same at that age. . My DS is 3 and wouldn't wear the spotty shorts they were wearing (he is already a rather discerning dresser )

[MadamePlatypus]

I think the issue of whether twins in general should be in the same form at school pales into insignificance compared to the issue of how any child would cope with a mother who has so little faith in their ability to manage on their own. I am sure that many parents of twins discuss this issue - how many of them discuss it so publicly?

[GodzillasBumcheek]

Can i just add...the reason i insist on my twin daughters functioning as individual people, separately, is not only because (although identical) they are of different abilities, but also...what would happen if one of them died? Would the other one simply give up because their twin had gone? Certainly not my dtds but with this woman's sons...who knows? And you can't say it would never happen, because it can and it does, unfortunately.

[Moomin]

oh, I didn't know that. What was all that about?