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Original poster

So Ms now means you used to be married....

68 replies

ruty · 04/07/2007 08:44

www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2114498,00.html

I have this problem at the moment, just applied for CRB check. My passport still has my maiden name [how's that for a sexist adjective] so I asked to be called Ms on the form. They've put me as Mrs [insert Maiden name] because I'm married. In the CRB's eyes, Ms means you used to be married and now are not.
Maybe people don't care about this anymore, but I feel pretty strongly that it should be a woman's right to have a title that has no bearing on her attachment to a man, just like Mr. anyone else care?

OP posts:
RosaLuxembourg · 04/07/2007 10:19

I had this problem with the CRB too - mine was held up for weeks because they were 'waiting to find out what my other name was'. When I informed them that I don't have another name as I have never used my husband's they told me that I must be divorced as that was the legal definition of Ms!!!
Where on earth did this notion arise from? We women invented Ms to give us a title that didn't declare our marital status to the world - now it is being hijacked to label divorcees! I think action is called for.

Original poster
ruty · 04/07/2007 10:19

oh help that's what i'm worried about RosaL. how did you solve it?

OP posts:
Hathor · 04/07/2007 10:20

And married men should definitely have to wear wedding rings. Just so we know.

Flumpybumpy · 04/07/2007 10:20

So what is man caled when he gets divorced, Mrx??

I hate being asked 'are you a Miss or Mrs?'. I am a Mrs but agree that a title that covers all (like Mr) would be much better.

Miss and Master until you are 18 then Mr and Ms from then regardless of marital status.

For the record I have just shouted round teh offce what does it mean when a woman is called Ms they all the blokes said 'lesbian!'

FB x

Hathor · 04/07/2007 10:20

Give us the contact and we will email the CRB.

MissTea4Me · 04/07/2007 10:21

OK, I've already killed another thread on this subject, let's see if I can make it 2 for 2! In my early 20s I went to Germany and visited a uni where I noticed that the profs addressed female students as Frau -- it seems Fraulein has fallen out of use there except for very little girls (any Germans on here feel free to correct me if I'm getting this totally wrong) On the strength of this I started styling myself Mrs Unmarriedname, which I still do now I'm married. If all men are Mr pretty much from birth, why can't all women be Mrs? If everyone adopted it regardless of marital status then it would no longer signify attachment to a man.

Hathor · 04/07/2007 10:22

Ha ha
Virgin/married/lesbian.
Men like to categorise women who don't want to shag them

RosaLuxembourg · 04/07/2007 10:22

I just spoke to the lady in the CRB office and she sorted it out for me. The thing is if it hasn't come back in a reasonable amount of time you have to phone up and find out what the problem is, otherwise they will just sit on it rather than getting back to you to let you know.

Hathor · 04/07/2007 10:22

Or Ms, which is what it was invented for Tea lady

Hathor · 04/07/2007 10:23

FGS is this why it takes so long to get CRB checked?

MissTea4Me · 04/07/2007 10:25

Oh, and just as an addendum, I'm fairly sure the 'legal definition' thing is pants; you can style yourself pretty much whatever you want; I never had any officialdom questioning my unmarried Mrsness.

MissTea4Me · 04/07/2007 10:30

But Hathor, why invent something new? In Germany they just ditched their version of Miss.

Original poster
ruty · 04/07/2007 10:31

i just rang the CRB and she said it was fine for me to call myself Ms. Let's see how long my application takes!

OP posts:
Hathor · 04/07/2007 10:36

Oh I see. Yes. But Ms is not really new any more is it. I thought it was widely used as a non-label - until I read this thread!

MerlinsBeard · 04/07/2007 10:39

i thought Miss was for unmarried, MRS for married and MS for not married (for whatever reason). MR is an abbrieviation of master so doesn't just mean mister.

am off to read the rest of the thread now....

MissTea4Me · 04/07/2007 10:44

Growing up in the U.S. (admittedly in a liberal east coast college town) I thought Ms was pretty standard too. Then I moved to the U.K.!

MissTea4Me · 04/07/2007 10:52

Mrs was the title for married and unmarried women unti the 17th century. Let's take it back!

SweetyDarling · 04/07/2007 10:53

I always thought it was a title used to avoid being labeled based on your marital status - or if you don't kow someone's marital status. That's how I use it.

edam · 04/07/2007 11:00

so the CRB is either insitutionally sexist or institutionally thick. Or both.

HollyGoHeavily · 04/07/2007 11:19

Ms means i could be married/unmarried/divorced/any combination of the above but it's none of your business. I always use it.

I think it is the perfect solution and see no reason why we should revert to all adult women being called 'Mrs' which just reinforces the notion that to be truly considered an adult you need to be married.

edam · 04/07/2007 11:45

Well, I've complained to the CRB using the complaints section of their website.

JoolsToo · 04/07/2007 11:47

I hate the term 'Ms'

hecciesmum · 04/07/2007 15:26

I much prefer the term "your ladyship" myself.....

Dior · 04/07/2007 15:27

Message withdrawn

Quattrocento · 04/07/2007 15:28

I care. But I know that it is slightly offbeat and quirky to care. I am a Ms and have been throughout.

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