To me it?s about perceived risk. I wouldn?t think about abduction if I were leaving a child, I would think about what if they woke up and discovered I wasn?t there, and got upset? And especially in a complex like a hotel, what if they then came looking for me, stepped out of the bedroom door and out into the public part of the hotel, they wouldn?t know where to find me, so might be wandering aimlessly around the hotel complex, and perhaps further afield, maybe mummy went to the beach or the shop, so maybe they would try and go to the beach or the shop to look for mummy, and once they stepped out into public they would be at risk of being hit by a car perhaps, or falling into a swimming pool. The risks are low, but probably higher than the risk of being abducted. Also I think it?s about a child?s sense of security. When I put my child to bed at night he knows that if he needs me he can come and find me. And if I?m going out he knows that mummy and daddy are going out and that Nanny will be coming to look after him. And although he very rarely wakes up in the night, what if the one time he woke up, there was no one there to comfort him, to get him a drink, would that then change his view of going to sleep knowing that his mummy and daddy were still there?
And agree with other poster who said that there are risks we don?t need to take which can be balanced against risks we do need to take. You can?t never cross a road, because you couldn?t live a normal life then. And equally for some there are perhaps additional risks that we need to take.
For me, the hardest thing I ever did was to let ds go in a public place, where I couldn?t see him, knowing that he could potentially run away from me and that I wouldn?t know where he?d gone. But it was something I had to do, because the only way he would ever earn my trust, was if I let him go. And before I had children I promised myself that my children would never have to compensate for the fact I have a disability, had I not been able to be sure I could do that, I wouldn?t have had children. And I am well aware that I am perhaps slightly more vulnerable in that a potential abductor might se me with my child and think that he could be a good target because I wouldn?t see them, but tbh you just can?t live your life in that kind of fear. My ds knows he?s not to go round the corner where he can?t see me, and he doesn?t. and although I can?t see him I have an excellent sense of perception, so I know where he is, what he?s doing, and how far away he is so I can call him to stop if I think he?s getting too far away.