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Original poster

Rosie Millard article on travelling with kids(STimes?)

48 replies

unicorn · 01/08/2004 21:58

Anyone read it?
Thought it was quite amusing and perceptive re British public.. just wondered why on earth she wanted to travel by train with 3 kids + Nanny + violin+ computer etcetectec...
If you are reading this Rosie- please enlighten me!

OP posts:

aloha · 05/08/2004 09:56

Whenever I go out with ds I never get anything like this. I'm starting to feel like a freak! Yesterday we went shopping, and the bin man repeatedly told me what a lovely boy I had, a passer by told me how beautifully he spoke, the lady in the cafe said he was gorgeous and bright, and two teenage girls went 'aah!' as we went past. Even when he yelled a bit in the cafe nobody batted an eyelid, and certainly didn't say anything - oh, and despite the fact that he was being a bit lively in a local shop (ahem) the shopkeeper asked him to come back one day because they were opening a new consignment of wooden cats. Obviously I think my son the the most beautiful child in the world, but he isn't always perfectly quiet or still or anything. I can't be alone in getting positive responses, not negative ones, can I? But as others have said, it doesn't make good copy.

3PRINCESSES · 05/08/2004 10:20

I kind of resent these media-chick women puportedly speaking out on behalf of the rest of us poor, opressed and voiceless mothers, and getting it absolutely wrong...

bundle · 05/08/2004 10:29

hmmmmm. classic rosie. marina is right about her gilding the lily. ffs, what about those of us who've struggled on the victoria line, 8 months pregnant with a toddler and no one stands up for you, let alone help you up the steps with a stroller. also on train journeys there is nowhere to even change a nappy, I've never seen a changing station in the loos. i travelled up north with dd1 but only when i just had her, wouldn't do it on my own with two of them. oh - but rosie wasn't on her own, was she....
i was even told by a london underground employee that the reason their staff don't help with eg prams is because they're not insured if they hurt themselves doing this.

aloha · 05/08/2004 10:32

I agree. The problem is far more likely IME to be the staff and the system than fellow passengers. I've had a bus driver go off because he couldn't be bothered to wait while I struggled down the street with a toddler and pushchair (as they never stop AT the bus stop - and yes, he did see me) and all the passengers rose up as one to demand the bus stopped for me, and helped me on. I HATE public transport because it's so difficult with young children and buggies, but not because people are nasty to my child.

bundle · 05/08/2004 10:34

aloha a friend of mine was at a bus stop with a toddler, the bus was full and she was asked to fold her buggy by the driver. as she started to do this he said "I haven't got time for you to do that.." and drove off....

jimmychoos · 05/08/2004 10:38

I travel on trains with my two a lot and can also say I have never had any bad responses. I've never experienced anything but kindness both from train staff and other passengers - everyone is always willing to help and I'll never forget the stewardess and passenger who went the length of a (very long) train for me to collect every piece of luggage I had - I had got onto the train in a packed carrage and had to walk all the way down it to get seats. When DS was a couple of months old I went from London to Reading on a very hot day. He screamed more or less the whole way back in a carriage full of commuting men in suits. As I got more and more embarrassed and panicky I was asked by at least three of them if I was ok - all told me not to worry about the noise as long as my son was Ok, one of them said 'I've been there too - terrible isn't it' So I think people do confound your expectations sometimes.

KeepingMum · 05/08/2004 10:42

I've always been amazed at how helpful other passengers are on public transport - sometimes too helpful (grabbing the front of the buggy and almost tipping dd out the back whilst I try and slow them down to wait for ds toddling up the stairs behind). Dh told me off for declining help as he said that it would put people off offering to help out again - so apologies if my declinations have caused other mums to be ignored (I always say no politely and thank you for offering anyway).

Clarinet60 · 17/08/2004 16:09

Hmm, I've been contemplating taking my two (5 & 2) on a train journey on my own, just to see if it's bearable. According to you lot, it's a breeze. I hope you're right - I'll be back with my cross face on if you were all fibbing.

Moomin · 17/08/2004 19:35

there was a reply to this article the following week by Emma Thompson (not the actress) who said basically that RM was being a trifle economical with the truth, but in a polite way!

frogs · 17/08/2004 20:36

Great, Droile -- but you didn't miss the bit about planning it like the D-day landings, did you?

ie. colouring books, pens, plasticine, books, story tapes etc, etc, plus lots of food that will take them a while to eat in manageable packages -- raisins, crisps, sandwiches, sweeties etc. etc.

Bribery and threats also work well for me

serenequeen · 17/08/2004 20:38

lol @ droile

roisin · 17/08/2004 21:09

Well, the boys and I are planning to spend a day (Thursday) on the trains ... just for fun! i.e. not actually travelling anywhere. Leave here at 9.20 am, 3 trains later have 50 minutes in Carlisle after lunch, and get back here at 5 pm

My boys think it's a great plan: Ideal day out when it's wet.

I'm not sure what I think yet - I'll let you know!

vict17 · 17/08/2004 21:14

Perhaps the computer she had with her was her laptop to write the article and she ignored the noise her kids were making to write the article on the train!!

vict17 · 17/08/2004 21:15

roisin - you are brave

MummyToSteven · 17/08/2004 21:15

roisin - sounds like my dh's idea of a day out - except maybe substitute 12 hours on the trains, with 50 mins for lunch

suedonim · 17/08/2004 22:25

I've done a fair bit of train travel in my time, inc trips from Thurso right down to Kent, and never had that sort of reaction. And RM didn't even take a dog with her, as I once did!! Can't remember why I took the dog - must have seemed like a good idea at the time!! Nothing untoward occurred, no one objected to the children and everyone adored our doggie, feeding her bits of sandwiches and biscuits. I can't bear people like RM who seek to make a song-and-dance out of everyday life.

Original poster

unicorn · 17/08/2004 22:41

I would be interested to hear from parents of special needs children - have you travelled long distance (or short) on public transport, and what experiences have you had?
Whilst I acknowledge RM's 'artistic' license, I still feel unless you have ever been in that predicament (whether it be public transport or public restaurant) you cannot appreciate her point.
And yes,how we would all love our kids either to be ignored,or swooned over, reality is, life isn't like that, and there ARE many people who don't like kids- and will let you know in no uncertain terms.

OP posts:

Original poster

unicorn · 18/08/2004 08:15

suedonim...love it ...
"noone OBJECTED to our children and everyone ADORED our doggie.."
says it all really! [GRIN]

OP posts:

tigermoth · 18/08/2004 08:15

It seemed to me that the other passengers were more cross with Rosie than with her children. Don't know, wasn't here, but how much was she really trying to entertain and control them over that long journey? And what was the nanny doing to help? no mention of her. Two adults three children is not such a bad ratio. At least one adult could have taken a child off for a walk along the train if they need separating and calming down.

I certainly agree the article was embroidered but still wonder if there was some truth in it. If I am not concentrating on my children and they are causing a public commotion, that's the time I'll get 'looks' and comments. If I appear to be trying my best to control my sons, even if I am failing, people are more likely to be sympathetic.

Moomin · 18/08/2004 08:47

i can't get the link to ET's article as it was last week's, but she was more or less saying the same as tigermoth: she felt that RM hadn't taken enough stuff to entertain the kids. The nanny wasn't mentioned so we can't be sure of her role, and she also said that to take one of the kids' violins just for a week away was practically anal! Basically accuses RM of being blissfully unaware of how loud / annoying / wild her kids were and to use a legless stag party as 'character witnesses' was a bit misguided!

SueW · 18/08/2004 09:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

Moomin · 18/08/2004 09:15

yes, good point suew. Maybe they women thought that RM was more or less condoning whatever the stag party were up to, as she and her kids were in the thick of it.
I think RM was acting like the stags in some way - like when you're very drunk you don't have the abaility to control your volume or recognise how noisy a group of you are: she was so wrapped up in what she was doing she couldn't see what all the fuss was about for the passengers further down the train, maybe?

acnebride · 18/08/2004 09:20

i think exactly the same suew

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