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Original poster

Do you give your children alcohol?

134 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 27/04/2007 10:41

here

I have given my ds watered down wine, very small amount. I have also let him sip champagne from my glass and aware his dad has let him have a sip of beer. Does anyone else do this? I know I probably risk being shot down n flames but I dont think it is particualary harmful to let him have a sip on special occasions. We drink very little here and I wouldnt let him have alcopops/spirits etc. When we on holiday in France they gave him watered down wine the the restuarant. I understand the article is probably aimed at parents to give their kids full strength drinks and alcopops but wondered if anyone else has allowed their dc to have a little bit of wine?

OP posts:
SmileysPeoples · 27/04/2007 12:11

We're talking about extremes here though are we?

Most of us don't drink to excess, most of us don't not drink at all.

Most of our kids will fall into that camp.

most of our kids will get totally smashed as teenagers and then settle down into adult social drinking.

I don't think problems with drinking come from either parents who never let their children taste alcohol or parents who drink occasionbally and let thekids have a sip.

The extremes of hard drinking parents or familes where alcohol is seen as evil never to be touched are not what anyone is adovcating.

we're piddling about in the middle arguing about nothing imo.

Oh and I talk to my children and let them sip wine. Not mutually exclusive

MadeForIt · 27/04/2007 12:15

its not about keeping alcohol a secret from your children, its about explaining that it's not for them yet. They are children, they depend on you to guide them until they can decide for themselves. I wish my parents hadn't given me alchohol when iwas younger. I didn't need it and it certainly gave me a taste for it too early.

I would say that in african carribean culture children are generally bought up without alchohol in their lives and this shows. It wasn't until I met my bestfriend (from jamaican parents) when I was 19 that I realised that drinking wasn't actually that cool.

bananabump · 27/04/2007 12:15

I don't think my parents have minded me having a bit of wine or whatever, but I just wasn't that interested in it. Smelt people's glasses a few times but they smelt sour or bitter compared to juice and pop!

I started drinking at about 18 properly, though I'd had some cider etc at people's houses at about 15. I drank more in my eary twenties when I went to uni, to be honest. I now barely drink.

I suppose I'd be the same in that if they wanted to try a sip of wine and they were over 5 I'd let them, but it wouldn't be a regular occurrence. They need to see that normal drinking is in moderation and you don't need to drink the whole bottle to feel good.

I would never get pissed in front of my child, that's for sure! (My Dad was drunk on the phone the other day and got talking about childbirth. He actually said the word va-g-ina. I'm now officially scarred for life)

Enid · 27/04/2007 12:17

fio you are right

gemma you are wrong

WideWebWitch · 27/04/2007 12:19

In answer to the OP no of course I bloody well don't! Why would I?

(haven't read thread, are people saying it's ok?)

Porcupine · 27/04/2007 12:20

tbey are being all " ocntinental"

but choosily so
no hard core duthc porn

WideWebWitch · 27/04/2007 12:21

continental schmoninental

MrsSpoon · 27/04/2007 12:22

Lock me up, my almost 5 year old at half in inch of champagne (in a narrow flute so probably no more than a mouthful) while on holiday. We were having a party, cocktail sausages and crisps too.

jampot · 27/04/2007 12:22

dd is 14 and she has the occasional drink at celebration time or is allowed 1 drink if she goes to a party but only if the parents are in attenance (she wouldbt be going if they werent). Rightly or wrongly I trust her to keep to her limit and she knows her boundaries.

Ds is 10.5 and he has had the occasional sip of his dad's beer (roughly 2-3 times a year) but is still young enough to not enjoy the taste.

I have brought my children up so far to not worry about fitting in with what everyone else is doing and its ok to not be a sheep - so far i think its worked quite well but please refer me back to this when I post that my kids are whinos

Blu · 27/04/2007 12:24

SA is 5 and has not had alcohol. No big deal about it, it isn't offered, we don't go 'oooh, special Mummy and Daddy drink, not for Youooooooo'. He's 5, why would I do anything to encourage him to taste it, make a thing of having a little bit to 'celebrate'.

When he is older these things will gradually creep in, and when he is in early teens I will have no objection to a small amount of low-alcohol drink with family meals. We don't do big reeling-about-heavy-drinking socialising in front of him - that isn't a feature of family gatherings (not sying it doesn't happen out with friends...).

jampot · 27/04/2007 12:24

FWIW my parents didnt drink but my sisters do - I tend not to drink as a rule usually because im the driver and wouldnt mix the two. I dont drink in the house like many of my friends do.

southeastastra · 27/04/2007 12:27

i've never given my ds(13) alcohol and he's never really been interested. my ds(5) does wonder what wine tastes like though .

tbh i won't give them any at home at all if i can help it. i believe that i have a gene that doesn't get on with alcohol and think it can be passed on so wouldn't risk it.

really i think we should raise the limit to 21 nationally. we have such a problem in the uk. something needs to be done.

MaloryTowers · 27/04/2007 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsSpoon · 27/04/2007 12:33

For the record my DS2 wasn't "encouraged" to try it but asked to try, was quite happy with is small sip (probably didn't even like it) and certainly would not be offered it. TBH I think I have a fairly healthy view of alcohol and it was never a forbidden fruit when I was growing up.

essbeebonkers · 27/04/2007 12:34

Message withdrawn

mrcandmre · 27/04/2007 12:43

Why don't the government just take our kids away and bring them up as pure virgins to everything.
They're trying too hard to make something happen that simply will not.

Is there still a law in restaurants/pubs that 14yr olds+ can drink alcohol with meals?

Anyway, I was bought up being able to have wine with meals(only a glass) Up until I was about 16 when I could drink quite freely. I never took it to extremes.
That said though, I did have a few mental years as an older teenager...drinking and going out (and being sick lol)
I am now a responsible parent, didn't do me any harm. I think it's all life experience.
And I really do think stopping kids drinking at home, will push it into "taboo" territory and make some(not all kids) keep it a secret if they do.

OrmIrian · 27/04/2007 12:45

No. I don't. I think they have all signed the pledge because they hate even the smell of it. When they were smaller they were fascinated with those little bottles of lager but never liked it.

Visited friends with a 13 and a 15yr old lad. The eldest is obesessed with alcohol - his parents will let him have a bottle of Becks (or the equivalent) and I think he seemed much too keen on it - the alcohol itself rather than the face it was 'cool' or that he was keeping up with his mates IFSWIM. But they say they'd rather he drank it at home with them, than out with his mates in the park . Not sure that either is OK really. I found it a bit disturbing really...

OrmIrian · 27/04/2007 12:46

Sorry fact not face...

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 27/04/2007 13:25

woah this thread has taken off. Only buggered off to do some housework.

As I was typing it I did have an inkling that I might get a response likening drinking to smoking etc (neva thought porn would come into it). fwiw ds's father smokes. Ds hates the smell of fags and is very anti-smoking. If we go out for a meal and have to walk through smoking area ds always comments. So no I cannot see him going can i have a drag please.

Ds(7) doesnt always have wine but I am happy for him to have a little if he asks (if it is a meal/special occassion) He has it watered down and rarely has more than a sip.. except when in france when he managed a sherry glass full of watered wine.

Apparantly the goverment arent in support with this it is alcohol concern who have put this foward. I do agree that this is probably aimed at parents who disregard common sence and give there kids cans of beer etc. Does anyone remember on wife- swap when the kids were swigging alcopops?

I do find it quite funny that some people sensationalise allowing a child some watered down wine at christmas (which they dont usually drink anyway) and likening it to hardcore porn and fags.. surprised class A drugs havent been mentioned.

Also ds only usually drinks water, milk, tea (waits for gasps of disgust) and watered down wine. He doesnt drink fizzy drinks - so hopefully alcopops will neva be an issue - or squash drinks like fruitshoots ....

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 27/04/2007 13:29

www - rather than such an agressive response.. perhaps reading the thread first would help

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 27/04/2007 13:31

I dont think gemmie was saying that children from hard drinking families. She was saying i think that from families who are relaxed.. not a big issue either way.. not totally anti and not obsessed either

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 27/04/2007 13:32

I don't give it to them.. they help themselves to the boat-shaped bar in the corner.. they are part of the fmaily after all!

Original poster
MamaMaiasaura · 27/04/2007 13:33

And having worked with drugs and alchohol addictions the people i have dealt with mainly havecome from extremely dysfunctional families with alcholism/dependency issues and criminal backgrounds. Generally not coming across people who have a well balanced family life.

OP posts:
katzg · 27/04/2007 13:36

dd1 has had watered down wine with meals

but dd2 will not be having alcohol, this is for medical reasons.

i was brought up with havig a small glass of wine with my sunday lunch and now don't drink all that often (don't listen to anything Hulababy's husband might say about me!) i don't see anythig wrong in bringing children up with a healthy respect for alcohol. having taken the dds to both france and italy all small children there are given watered down wine with their meals

zephyrcat · 27/04/2007 13:38

I have onlyu skimmed this thread but was quite surprised to see that people can assume that it is only troubled/alcoholic families affected by this.

My Sister is 16 and her and probably 95% of her friends have been drinking for the last, maybe, 2 years.

My Mum has never given her drink except for family occassions etc like we all had. They live in a very well off area with kids who do well at school and have parents in very good jobs. It came to light that some of these parents were buying their children bottles of cider, vodka, wine and the like to take out to the park with them on a Friday/Saturday night. You wold think they'd know better.