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Original poster

Should the boy be put into care cos of childhood obesity.....

123 replies

crispyduck · 25/02/2007 19:55

Watching the news tonight, a young boy has been threatened to be taken into care by SS, do you think SS have the right to put a child into care because of obesity....

OP posts:
bigbird2003 · 27/02/2007 10:54

Whilst I agree that this family need intervention, I do wonder about underlying conditions that boy may have

He is 5'1 at 8 years old. That is very very tall. His sister was a normal size. It wouldn't suprise me if he had an overgrowth syndrome of some kind or an hormonal imbalance. I was pleased to hear that he will be investigated by a paediatrician. If an underlying condition is found, It will help with working out how to help this lad get in control of his weight

The mother clearly needs some help in her parenting skills and her depression but I don't think the answer is removing the boy. Foster carers have to provide treats and allow the child to have access to 'normal' life and that includes rubbish foods

I hope they all get the help they need

speedymama · 27/02/2007 12:19

I get the impression that the family are desperately hoping for some medical diagnosis which would, in their mind, excuse their negligent behaviour. The fact is that most overweight people are overweight because they consume more calories than they eat. Those who are overweight because of medical problems like Prader Willis Syndrome or underactive thyroid account for less than 0.01 of cases.

The mother needs to be educated about nutrition because as well as being obese, her DS is malnourished. IMO, the mother has no excuse for her negligent parenting. When I was pregnant, I was given free leaflets on diet and exercise, the parenting handbook I was given contain copious info about nutrition, the health clinics are teeming with free information, there are a plethora of cookery books at the library, magazines like Woman, Best,etc always have sections on diet & cooking, there are TV programmes on cooking....

We are deluged with information about healthy eating and unless you have your head in the sand, you must have some idea that eating too much junk and doing no exercise like walking will lead to you putting on weight.

SS must intervene to give this boy a chance of leading a healthy life.

Piffle · 27/02/2007 12:21

my ds is 13 5ft 4 and size 8 shoe and he is on the 91st centile
At 8 yrs old that is very tall.

SecondhandRose · 27/02/2007 13:20

Is there another thread on this somewhere? Surprised the programme last night didn't stir up more emotion.

Today the family is being assessed to see what can be done but also Connor is being to see he doesn't have problem with his hormones.

I think he certainly shouldn't be separated from his Mum but that the whole family needs help. Mum looks like she needs some help herself. He has also apparently not been attending school and Mum hasn't been making sure he has been going, all very sad.

peegeeweegee · 27/02/2007 13:48

The following statement by the mother sums it all up:

"How can he be abused - we all love him. If I did not love him I would not be falling over myself to make him food all the time."

She is completely misguided.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/02/2007 13:56

This is not the first time such a case has appeared in the newspapers and it won't be the last.

The root causes of his obesity and the family's role in causing this situation to arise needs to be carefully examined.

I still remember reading about a woman (a nurse by profession) who almost killed her now two adult boys with food when they were younger. Thesw teo boys eventually slimmed down to healthy weights. She honestly could not see that she was slowly killing them with kindness when they were younger. She had issues of her own re food carried over from her own childhood and associated "food" with "love".

I think a similar kind of thing - food equals love and issues relating to that - is happening here.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/02/2007 13:57

How can he be abused - we all love him. If I did not love him I would not be falling over myself to make him food all the time."

As I have already commented for some women food and giving same equals love.

JanH · 27/02/2007 13:59

Did you see this quote from the childhood obesity expert in Newcastle?

4½ stone, at 5' tall? Surely that would be practically anorexic! According to the BBC BMI chart, a healthy weight for that height is 7½-9 stone (of course that would be for an adult, not a child, but still).

(He is 5' tall, is he? I didn't see him on the news so only have that newspaper report to go on)

titchy · 27/02/2007 14:24

JanH - a child's of 8's BMI shoudl be much lower than that of an adult as they haven't put on the body muscle/fat of an adult body. An eight years old's BMI should be between 13.5 and 18.5, so actually around 5.5 stone would be the right weight for this child.

donnie · 27/02/2007 14:30

there was a very revealing contrast between what the mother said and what the older sister said. While the mum was basically in denial and clearly has problems herself with facing reality , the sister basically said he has been fed crap all his life, has been allowed to eat crap all his life and is currently into curries!! I couldn't help wishing his sister could be the one in charge instead of the mother as she seemed far more switched on.

I cannot see that taking this boy into care is a solution but neither is leaving things the way they are. I must admit to being astounded when the mother kept saying ' nobody ever told me there was a problem' - wtf?

Piffle · 27/02/2007 14:35

think you can exclude prader willi syndrome too esp given his height...
We love curries too but tend to stick to buying one 1-2 x a month, but if he is buying takeaway or ready meal curries, someone is paying for them and they are responsible.
Why are so many parents unable to say no to their kids, is it just for a peaceful life?

Blandmum · 27/02/2007 14:37

and you can also excluse it given that he was asked if he was hungry all the time and said 'No I eat when I'm bored' People with PWS are hungry all the time.

speedymama · 27/02/2007 14:48

Parents who can't say no to their children are probably afraid that their DC will think they don't love them.

Blandmum · 27/02/2007 14:51

It is what happens when people try to be their children friend more than their parent.

My kids will have loads of friends, but only one mother. My role with them is quite different.

It is all part and parcel of the same basic fear that stops parents diciplining their kids in a positive way. They are too frightened that the kids will stop liking them.

JanH · 27/02/2007 14:56

Thanks, titchy, I didn't know that (obviously!) If there are hormonal issues would that make any difference?

Blandmum · 27/02/2007 14:59

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speedymama · 27/02/2007 15:07

Absolutely MB.

The other myth that people use to excuse being overweight is that they have a slow metabolism. Heavier people have faster metabolisms because when the body is at complete rest larger people need more energy to pump the blood around the body and to keep moving. Just as a big car uses more fuel so a bigger person uses more energy.

JanH · 27/02/2007 15:16

Instead of taking him away, why not send in Gillian McKeith?

Blandmum · 27/02/2007 15:28

....because she thinks that chorophyll can help oxygenate your blood, so appears to know as little basic biology as the mother in this case ?

The boy needs to be seen by a paediatric dietician. And the mother needs to see a psychiatrist. And when better could probably be helped by going on a parenting course, and possibly getting some family/play therapy.

JanH · 27/02/2007 15:33

Oh god no, it's just that in the only prog of hers I've ever seen she was sorting out a large obese bloke who lived on vast amounts of crap and looked dreadful, and she got him eating salady stuff instead and he lost stones and looked like a new bloke by the end of it.

Mind you in his case it was his wife who'd called her in, the mother here isn't going to help out, is she?

Piffle · 27/02/2007 15:36

I think with kids you need proper dietetic advice - fairly obviously the mother needs to be taught what to buy, what to throw out and never stock and how to say No
then she needs to learn to prepare good food for her kids and herself.

lulumama · 27/02/2007 15:38

agree with MB re the mother

she is obviously depressed and if it was not for the grandmother, the boy would be unlikely to get dressed or get to school at all

so it needs to be a 2 pronged approach...sorting out the mother and her issues, and teaching her about nutrition and a balanced diet

and breaking this young boy;s obsession with food

the sister seemed to have more insight into his mindset, didn't she?

mind you, the mother is in denial , as the alternative is for her to admit to herself she has been responsible for feeding her son into obesity...

corkgirl · 27/02/2007 15:47

and as for him being fat because he likes curries - my indian friends are more healthy and trim than the rest of my european mates! overeating is overeating.
and did you see granning washing his 'bits' for him! and he sleeps with his mum at eleven! very very strange

3andnomore · 27/02/2007 15:52

Xeinia...my first thought was...has he Prader-Willy-syndrome...but I suppose that would have been found out by now...apparnetly he had lots of test because of it!
Alhtough, after watching it, I still felt that he might fit into that catergory for some reason...hm...

3andnomore · 27/02/2007 15:54

corkgirl, but they won't be eating the kind of "take away-style" Indian food, but the healthy food they normally eat. I also hvae an Indian friend and all her family is very healthy and slim , but the food certainly is compeltely different to the food one would find in a restaurant....tRestaurant food is to cater for the British palate.

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