Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Single parenet benefits proposed to end when youngest child is 11 rahter than 16

725 replies

uwila · 30/01/2007 09:56

Oh this will be popular round here.

here

OP posts:
Caligula · 30/01/2007 14:10

I just heard on the radio that Sweden spends more than 4 times on childcare than we do and Denmark subsidises childcare up to 90%.

Hence the availability of really good quality, affordable childcare. Childcare workers are paid well. There are no major "quality" issues about this in these countries. (Although I'm sure you'll get the odd bad egg that slips through, it's not a constant problem like over here.)

Soapbox · 30/01/2007 14:12

Yes totally agree- scrap working tax credits and plough the cash into direct subsidies for properly run, properly staffed nurseries.

preggerspoppet · 30/01/2007 14:21

We have squillions of money in this country, so much of it is wasted.

I'm in favour of all that expat and soapbox (amongst others) have said,

But as supreme ruler...

I would also give a choice to the lower earners; financial incentive to sah or to spend on childcare.

(talking pre-school kids here)

For some who get, say £400 per month for childcare, this could potentially mean they could sah on one income. HOORAY -lucky kids! lucky families.

I would HAPPILY give up more tax to support lone parents to stay at home to care for their young-uns.

Then when they are school-aged, the sahp can then go back to work under soapbox's terms.

simple.

pirategirl · 30/01/2007 14:27

hi,
people who are not single mums, lone parents, widowed, or left holding the bay, have no idea what it is like to be the 'only' provider.

I get £110 a week to live off. My rent and council tax is paid for.

This means i get about £180 a week in real money.

My rent is low, as I waited five yrs for a housing trust property.

I was once 'on' the property ladder, and my husband and i were both working. We got 'off' the property ladder, faced illness and hard times and now I am alone as he buggered off.

I have no other adult in the house to be there when i am ill, take little one to school. My ex hasnt given me any support financially or otherwise.

He lives with someone who has kids and as far as the CSA are concerned, her children get first dibs on his wages ( if he ever got a job).
If and when the CSA get any money out of him for 'OUR' child, it will be deducted from my money anyway. So lone parents basically get no help. A man can go walkies and not 'actually' contribute' to the child.

Anyone want to be in this mess be my bloody guest. Along with the everyday emotions of being left, and let down, and a little child who has now got issues cos they r so let down.
it's ok tho, mummy is here to make it all better.

(grin)

I would need to earn an awful lot more than I 'get' to make working viable, yes I know there is help towards childcare costs, but it stiil rakes a huge chunk out of your pay.

eleusis · 30/01/2007 14:32

I think we should round up all the slacker non paying fathers and choose jobs for them, then give all of their pay to the people who are looking after their children.

Like pirategirl'sx-h can scrub the sewers for 10 hours a day. He can have Sat and Sun off. But he won't smell very nice when he gets home.

Jimjams2 · 30/01/2007 14:34

Doesn't Sweden provide 2 years maternity leave on full pay or something as well?

3 children- = 3 lots of illnesses, can be a problem.

Severely autistic child = no after school care available at all, no holiday care/clubs/playschemes available at all and they've just shut the local overnight respite centre, so no overnight respite and up from between 1 and 3am (for the rest of the night) since before christmas.

Carer's allowance is £46 a week- I'll bet they'll make parents of disabled children exempt- otherwise they miight have to start providing some services. They would cost a lot more the £46 a week per child.

pirategirl · 30/01/2007 14:35

And another thing,

If my husband was still here, I would be able to work, to do my bit. I would work to top up our income, or match it if I could. Then I would be contirbuting towards people in 'my' situation, as it is now.

I dont ask for much, y'know, just a roof over my head. I dont go out, I am a decent person, give what I can, to charity, I give what I can to those around me.

Life is ever changing, and i could be in your shoes one day, and you in mine.

take care.

preggerspoppet · 30/01/2007 14:38

It would be pretty crappy for pirate and her kids to have to work outside of school hours and your dc to miss out on you after school too. If you are expected to work after they are 11 then we need some big changes in working conditions for lone parents.

how can anyone disagree with that?
How will being a latch-key kid ever benefit a child or ensure they end up working as adults?

twelveyeargap · 30/01/2007 14:38

Sweden have until recently,had a rapidly falling population, so needed to encourage people to have children. Likewise Germany, afaik.

PersonalClown · 30/01/2007 14:42

I'm with Jimjams.
Ever tried getting after school care for an autistic child? The words blood and stone spring to mind.

Original poster
uwila · 30/01/2007 14:45

I think Britain is also going to have a rapidly falling population if they don't adress thecost of having children (and that includes housing and childcare).

OP posts:
isolde76 · 30/01/2007 14:49

I took the morally difficult decision to go onto IS recently because I am a lone parent, no family here, no support from ex and have a SN child. I was in absolute bits trying to cope with my job, childcare etc, and there was no way I could advance because I had to work part time - hence being stuck getting a measly income from the work I did. Not only that, but the amount of appointments and care that my son needed/needs compounded the whole issue.

But, I decided that since I am not working I would study, because I want to hopefully gain the qualifications I need to actually get a job that pays money. Saying that though, I have no idea how I will cope with working with a SN child in regards to holidays and no support from ANYONE. That comment on 'co-ordinating childcare' earlier did make me laugh. If only it were that simple. Having been on both sides of the fence, there is no comparison when it comes to the amount of money in the kitty. I am barely surviving right now, and the optimist in me is enjoying this new sense of frugality, but it also means that the kids have to miss out on things other two parent families take for granted. And I get nearly the same now as I did when I was working part time, only now I can concentrate on my son who has asperger's plus work on my own credentials.

No-one chooses to be a single parent, I sure as hell didn't. I don't want sympathy, I just want to be able to look after my children in the best way possible, and taking me away from my DS by saying I HAVE to work would be the worst possible thing for his wellbeing seeing as the onus is on me for all his needs. I don't want to have to think about when he is 11, but it is only 5 years away, and that scares me frankly.

isolde76 · 30/01/2007 14:52

Oops, did I say 5 years? obviously my mind is tricking me as it is actually 4 - see, told you it scares me...

FatFikAndFugly · 30/01/2007 14:55

actaully sorry but I did chose to be a single parent. so some people do chose to be a single parent.

isolde76 · 30/01/2007 14:59

Most people don't choose to be single parents, unless you have the wherewithall to support yourself and the child that you have. I think you would find that most women who choose to have a child without the input of a father have set themselves up in a certain standard of living.

FatFikAndFugly · 30/01/2007 15:01

No I think there are a fair amount of people liek myself who chose to be single parents rather tahn their children growing up in an unhealthy atmosphere. I also choose to work fulltime but yes it's at the same company I worked at before I had my (unplanned) dd. Although I've worked harder than I did before since I had her, my career has gone from ctrength to strength and I am entitled to literally no Tax credits from the government.

isolde76 · 30/01/2007 15:07

I don't know your circumstances, but if you mean an unhealthy atmosphere being the relationship between yourself and your ex, then absolutely, I agree with you, as I am not with my ex for the same reason. but I am not referring to that, rather, people choosing to get pregnant by themselves.

FatFikAndFugly · 30/01/2007 15:08

A single parent is a single parent regardless though, is it not?

wheelsonthebus · 30/01/2007 15:13

i don't understand this. Hutton says he does not want lone parents moving "seamlessly" on to incapacity benefit once their child benefits stop.

how can lone parents suddenly claim incapacity benefit anyway???

isolde76 · 30/01/2007 15:37

I think you are missing what I was getting at. Single parents on the whole are trapped in a situation that normally wouldn't be of the vast majority's choosing. But by penalising lone parents by forcing them to go out to work when it would would be of detriment to themselves and the family unit, is just making a difficult situation worse.

Tortington · 30/01/2007 15:38

how can lone parents suddenly claim incapacity benefit anyway???

isolde76 · 30/01/2007 15:38

Yeah, I don't get that bit either. Utter rubbish. Are you entitled to it after a certain number of years on IS? Bizarre.

Tortington · 30/01/2007 15:38

how can lone parents suddenly claim incapacity benefit anyway???

i want to know this too

Caligula · 30/01/2007 15:42

Isn't incapacity benefit for disabled people? [puzzled]

I have no idea what he means by this.

FatFikAndFugly · 30/01/2007 15:47

It's wrong to assume that a working mother is detrimental to a family unit. and yes I am trying to stop myself posting.

Unless of course we are coming back to old chestnut of WOHM = bad mother?

must. not. post.