Single parenet benefits proposed to end when youngest child is 11 rahter than 16

[uwila]

Oh this will be popular round here.

here

I repeat my point about psychology, status and agency Xenia

She didn't have her children at the time which of course is a difference but she certainly did cleaning.

I've had cleaning jobs in between other jobs, but I certainly didn't come and go as I pleased. I had to go when people wanted me. Sometimes I was self-employed, sometimes I worked for an agency, but I was always at somebody else's beck and call. I gave it up as a mugs game in the end because it didn't pay enough to live on, cost petrol or train fare to get there and if you worked long hours you spent the extra on convenience food because you're not at home to cook.

It's more flexible than some jobs. I accept once you've agreed to clean for Mrs Smith on a Monday at 10am then you need to stick to it or you'll lose her custom but at least you're your own boss which I think my sister liked at the time. Also in London it's probably slightly better paid and you can get jobs near other jobs so travel costs etc are easier. But I'm not suggesting single parents put cleaning as their life's aim. Aim as high as you can.

Xenia: it's nice that there were so many ethical and generous people willing to employ your sister at a rate that would enable her to pay her own tax and national insurance, rather than giving the cleaning work to someone whom they could get away with paying less to for cash in hand. Because, of course, you wouldn't be holding your sister up as a role model if she'd been doing cash-economy untaxed work in order to raise her benefits (you did say this was some years ago, before WTC, didn't you) to a level it's actually possible to live on.

I don't anyone in our family who has had to claim benefits when off work. She was connected to a cult at that time and they looked after you. In fact she's very compliant. One of the few people of her group working in the NHS at one point who did private work and actually declared the small income and paid tax on it and what happened - she got a tax investigation which was so scary. They pick on people at random and they found nothing wrong.

So far, I've been lucky enough not to have been on benefits, apart from the DLA I get for DS2, which helps me to work only part-time so that I can spend as many moments as possible with him. But I don't begrudge the benefits that other people need and I would far rather pay those that want to be at home after school for their 11-16 yr olds if that's what they've decided the child needs.

Not everyone can afford good after school care and at that age, it's tempting to think they'll be ok left with their peer group. I've just read an article that says we're spending far less time with our children than ever before and that in many cases, "peer group has taken over from parents in terms of influence from as young as age 7".

That scares me. I don't think people should be forced to leave work at 3:30 if they don't want to or can't afford to, but neither do I think they should be forced to stay till 5:30 and get home at 6-6:30 if they don't want to, for the sake of a few extra pence to the taxpayer.

I think we need to get with the programme for the first 18 years of our children's lives and stop hoping they'll bring themselves up. Children with only one parent at home surely need more input than ever, and surely the lone parent is run ragged doing all the home-chores and all the earning and all the mentoring? Surely they need help, not hindrance and insults from wider society?

And as for the garbage I've read about underclass and breeding and self-esteem on this thread - Christ on a bike just about covers it. I might be all right, Jack, but LOOK BEHIND YOU - SOMEBODY MIGHT HAVE FALLEN.

'I think we need to get with the programme for the first 18 years of our children's lives and stop hoping they'll bring themselves up. Children with only one parent at home surely need more input than ever, and surely the lone parent is run ragged doing all the home-chores and all the earning and all the mentoring? Surely they need help, not hindrance and insults from wider society?'

Spot on Droile.

I really can't believe that it is that hard to find work if you really wanted to. I mean I was perfectly able to find temporary, part time, flexible work at 16 when I hadn't even got GCSE results let alone anything else that was paying well & had no educational requirements more than being able to read or write.

Also I know plenty of people who really enjoy doing "low paid" perceived to be "crap" jobs.

blondilocks-it depends what part of the country you live in,doesnt it.i assume you've never lived in an area of high unemployment.

It's often the ones at home slumped in front opf teh TV shooting heroin who do the worst job bringing them up than the hardpressed two or one parent working families though, isn't it? Obviously not all benefit claimants who are parents are in that category but I don't think it's a work and not work issue and that if you don't work you bring up the children better.

My children have never found it hard to get jobs either but we live near London which may make a difference. It's why people move between countries even to have better opportunities and more work at better rates of pay.

Blondilocks: of course it's easy to find no-skills-needed work when you're 16 and don't have dependents. Part of the problem for parents trying to get - and keep jobs is that employers get fed up of parents having to take time off at short notice to deal with sick kids or school closures.

As to "low paid crap jobs" of course you can enjoy doing a no-status, no prospects job if your working environment is pleasant and you're treated civilly by your employers and colleagues, you have fulfilling interests outside the workplace - oh, and the low pay is enough actually to live on.

I have been reading this with interest and some of it makes my blood boil.

I am a single parent i have always worked to support my two children.
If i had my time again i would think twice about being a single parent.
I feel that had if i been around more for my dd she would not be having a baby at 14.
I also am trying to look after my terminally ill father.
I would also like a promotion but i cant move up because i cant work shifts.

I think sometimes you need to sit back and look at whats important and if some parents want to stay at home and bring up there children on benefits that is there choice. Most of them will have paid tax at some point in life.

I have a good job very rewarding working with sn but quite frankly the money is crap.

xenia-i think you'll find the majority of heroin addicts(that are that far down the addiction road they've taken to injecting)would be unlikely to still have their children with them.

i too found it very easy to find work when i lived just outside london.if there were no jobs in the immediate area you could get one a bit further out and just get the tube/bus etc.that isn't an option when you live miles from anywhere.

i had the same views as you on single parents claiming benefits,as my mum brought me and my sister up on her own and got no help apart from her widows pension.she worked her a**e off in school kitchens etc so we could have a decent life.

i didnt actually have the first clue what it would be like being a single parent living in a high unemployment area with no family nearby to help with childcare etc untill i found myself in that situation.

I had my daughter at 14, so yes I did have a dependent which is part of the reason I wanted to work part time in the first place. My mum didn't work since I started secondary school so I don't think that made a bit of difference to the underage pregnancy part - accidents happen whoever you and your parents are, whether you're rich or poor etc etc.

I know people who "permanently" temp if you like - not in the same place, but it is pretty flexible.

Divastropwhowantstodrop - is there a new law saying that we aren't allowed to move anywhere else?

It seems like there are so many defensive excuses and those who have actually chosen to do something about their situation are just put down about it!

Accidents do happen i agree. But i wasnt here to get my dd of to school and so she didnt go she got in with a bad lot went to a secure unit got into drugs sex alcohol and is having a baby whose father you wouldnt want involved with your family.

I dont believe any body is being put down and it is a personel choice.

My dd would love me to be at home with her she wants more of my time.

blobilocks-obviously you havent read the whole thread so im not going to bother replying cos i'll just be repeating myself.

that was meant to say blondilocks btw i am typing and eating at the same time

These are very complex issues. My ex husband and I always worked full time but none of our children ever missed school. But we were putting them on the school but at 7.45am before we went to work so I suppose they didn't really have an opportunity to escape. Also they didn't have boy friends until they went to university so they couldn't accidentally fall pregnant because they weren't having sex but again was it something we did that meant they didn't (they went to girls schools) or just chance - I am sure plenty of the girls in their class at school had sex including illegal underage sex.

You know, arsewarming as it is too read these accounts of how people's grandparents sold their own feet rather than claim benefits, how hard/easy it is to find adequately-paid work varies from decade to decade due to a number of factors, very few of which are to do with people being workshy or wicked. When there's high unemployment, people with dependents are going to be passed over for jobs because they're "unreliable", when there's a serious need for more bodies in the workforce, governments tend to find the funding to subsidise childcare. Etc.

Hmm I thought it was illegal to ask about children/marital status in interviews these days?

I have read the whole thread.

Don't worry divastropwantstodrop I can't type most of the time & that's when I'm not eating & I typed your name wrong initially without realising until now ... sorry

I'm job hunting just now, Blondi, and you'd be amazed the kinds of things employers ask/seek. All perfectly legal, too.

There are plenty of workrounds.

Really? All my agencies said that you didn't have to mention it. I guess though if they ask you other indirect questions like can you go to another country of a hat or do overtime etc then they find out that way.

country at the drop of a hat

oops