Control from beyond the grave - a sort of WWYD

[Homebird8]

This father has carefully tied his daughters' inheritance to their life choices.

Article here

My instincts are screaming at them to walk away. What if they happen to want to do the things he stipulated. Wouldn't they be likely to feel manipulated? Wouldn't that taint the choice?

Or would you follow the plan, get the cash, and live the life?

He sound creepy and controlling. Poor kids, poor wife. There's a world of difference between encouraging and coercing. And exercising control after death? Double creep points for that.
I'll be the was an utter nightmare when he was alive.

I do think there's merit in not giving kids money until they're older, and 35 is a good age I think. My siblings and I inherited money, and it was quite different for those of us who were older when it arrived (already in our 20s) than my younger siblings who knew throughout their teens that they'd just get it at 18. I honestly think I have a better work ethic as a result, as experienced time as an adult without a safety net.

On the one hand its very controlling.

On the other hand, I think not giving them it until they are 35 and ensuring their husbands sign some sort of prenup is quite sensible. As is ensuring they have a career of their own and don't just sit around waiting for their inheritance.

My main issue is that alot depends on the trustees.

I am glad the wife is fighting it and will watching interest to see how it pans out.

What strikes me about this is how he defines a "good" job. If the children are interested in the arts, want to be an actor say or a painter, there are many ways that people support this but often is bit very lucrative, but that isn't why they do it, they do it because they live it, sometimes it's stronger more of a drive. Presumably in that case they are excluded, in which case it's not about making sure they aren't idle rich but imposing his values on them . ditto to no children out of wedlock. I mean the result could be that they get of and then marry someone when they wouldn't have otherwise and it wasn't the best match. He's wanting shotgun weddings basically even when he isn't there.

Some of his stipulations sound OK - whatever age, get a pre nup. Others sound not OK at all and yes very controlling.

Terrible typos sorry!

Projecting slightly, I would hope that my children will know my basic values and choose to make their own decisions in that knowledge but not tied by it.

He doesn't ensure the things he dislikes won't happen though. He just looks like he can't quite get that his children are now adults and can make their own choices.

The only bit I'm quite happy about is the waiting until they're 35. That seems ok and not so manipulating. It gives them a chance at a secure future which most parents want for their children and is without constraint other than age.

Odd that he is divorcing yet is happy to pay for his daughters to care for his would-have-been ex-wife but has left her out of the will. With his other stipulations it is an odd mix of loving action and overbearing control.