I'm with you in so many ways and can't imagine how this will be dealt with in a sensitive way.
BUT
... this week I met a single mum of 4 children, another one on the way, who told me she gets £44K a year in benefits. All the children have the same father, who doesn't live with her or pay child support.
I know another single parent with 6 children who receives more than 44K in benefits.
In both cases ALL the children were conceived, born and raised without the mothers ever having worked.
Both families have at least one child with sn who they are really struggling with, but have gone on to conceive two or more children after their older child has received a diagnosis.
I know that the benefits cap will cause these families loads and loads of problems, and I feel very sorry for them. But they've ended up in this situation because the benefit system has made it not only financially viable but advisable to continue to grow their families in order to secure a regular high income to the household. I understand these families won't be affected by the limit on tax credits to two children, but I'd hope that limiting tax credits to two kids, and the benefits cap will make some women stop and think about casually having really big families when they don't have the social, emotional or financial resources to care for them properly.
It's not even about the money for me. Really big single parent families are few and far between. But the children who live in the two families I've mentioned are so massively disadvantaged by their mothers' life choices.
Would add, I'm a life long labour voter, I believe in welfare. However, we've created a system - labour government too - of low wages, high childcare costs, insecure employment and expensive housing. Working class women who are poorly educated are at the bottom of the pile when it comes to income and access to secure housing. If you are a working class woman and you leave school with a handful of poor GCSE's, the most reliable way to secure a home and a decent income is to have as many children as possible without the involvement of a man.
Personally I'd rather we provide working class women with an alternative life path by focusing on improving their access to further and higher education, increasing the supply of affordable housing, and supporting industry to provide more living wage, secure jobs, but in the absence of these things (and the Cons aren't interested in the carrot approach - just the stick) then something has to be done to stop 'have loads of children and live on tax credits' being a career choice for some girls.