Baby Charlotte, hope this isn't entirely true

[fartmeistergeneral]

Read in the ST just now that baby Charlotte (who's parents fought for 2 years to have a 'dnr' order lifted) is now 3, which is amazing, however, her parents have split and apparently neither can look after her on their own so she's in hospital and they are looking for a foster family for her.

How awfully awfully sad...

I have this sneaking suspicion DH would keep me going to the bitter end though!

I think Grumpyghoul's anecdote about a friend having to decide between one premature baby's life or three ambulances that could potentially save 100s is important.

The NHS does not have endless resources and really horrible decisions have to be made as to how these can be allocated. If it was my baby's life I might campaign the way the Wyatts did; but I have told my DH that if I am ever in a situation where doctors do not think I will ever be able to recover or enjoy any quality of life he should sign a DNR.

He said he wanted the same because of the pressure his existance would place on his family. But I am not sure that my choice could be so rational should it ever come to pass!

I don't think it is possible to 'think through' a situation like this. Who knows how anybody would react if this happened to them, and this could happen to anybody - regardless of how 'well' they were equipped to cope with it.

Also, regardless of the stress of what the situation has done to this couple since the birth of Charlotte, I can't imagine really going through a thought process that weighed my relationship with my partner with how I wanted doctors to care for my sick child.

Totally agree with MadamePlatypus. I really think this is the kind of situation in which you can never really know how you will react unless it happened to you. It is just too big.

I also agree - it's way too big to try to get your head around in advance. My cousin's wife died earlier this year of multiple sclerosis and had been completely paralysed in a hospice, unable to move or communicate for two years previously. It was still a dreadful wrench for him losing her and initially he refused a DNR and said he wanted her to be resuscitated. It's hard to make a decision like that about someone you love. Rational doesn't come into it, you don't think about the intrusive procedures, just about the life of one that you love.