joining tharmed forces..can't believe how harsh some views are when families say how anxious they are

[zippitippitoes]

..just listening on the radio to family of armed services personnel serving in eg Iraq and people saying well hard luck they knew what it was like when they mariied a soldier, let their son join up etc and it's not as bad as the ww1 and ww2.

I was shocked at how low the pay is for an ordinary soldier and still feel for the youngsters thrown into it at 18

I can't believe that people have this serves them right for being mugs and joining up attitude

J&RM you shoulda seen the dive I had in Marchwood OMG this was in 2002 BTW a single glazed 3 bed maisonette It was a frikkin discrace!!!

Spot on megandsoph - families are NOT the army's strong point.

I was seriously ill for 3 weeks last year while pregnant, had an 8 month old at home and couldnt do anything... DH had to go to the doctors and ask to be signed off so he could care for me and Jess.... the unit were of the "she will have to cope" mentality.

DH was in Iraq when my mum died. He had been flown out when Jess was 1 week old, my mum died when she was 2 weeks old. Although they got him home as soon as they could, and were really good, it didnt stop his boss phoning him the day before the funeral telling him he had to be back in work the morning after the funeral. We were 200 miles away from camp so had to leave the night of the funeral to make sure he was back at work. It was a disgrace. We made the trip back, for him to be signed off for 2 weeks compassionate and then made the 200 mile trip back to my dads again to give him the support he so badly needed.

I grew up as an "RAF brat" so completely know what you're saying zippi.

My father stayed in the RAF after his 2 years of National Service as he got married at 19 and had a child straightaway.

He was originally going to follow his father into farming.

He was really lucky as there were no wars during the whole of his service (came out at 50+), but he was in some sticky situations when dropping food supplies in Afghanistan or being "accompanied" by Middle East fighter jets when in their air space etc.

My father believed that the existence of the Armed Services acted as a deterrent to wars, think he's been proved wrong now.

Having once lived in one of the most deprived schemes in Edinburgh, I can see very well why someone would join up.

Choices?

LOL! A lot of people there barely stood a chance to make it to adulthood in one piece, much less a life full of nice 'choices' to make.

JARM thats awful, I hate hearing things like that, just one officers stupidity can cause so much distress. I think you will be alot happier when you leave! good one you.

J&RM I know sweetheart they can be complete twats...

I was suffering Extreme PMT (ended up in hazlar a couple of times) when Iraq kicked off in 03 with a toddler and a 3 mth old baby with litrally no one for support. He wasn't allowed any compasionate and had to go. I ended up moving up to scunthorpe to be near my folks which inturn caused Me and H to become extremely distant the marriage broke down and now we are divorced.

hahaha PMT?? PND sorry

awwww hun - they are shite. what more can i say? I could rant for england, scotland, wales and ireland about the army but it wont change anything.

tossers the lot of the them!

My dad joined the army aged 17 to get out of Liverpool and try and make a life for himself. He had left school at 15 and joined so he could learn a trade (motor mechanic). We lived in some shitholes - I remember one house where my bedroom was horribly damp and another where there were always rats running down the end of the garden. He was in the army for 23 years and had progressed to the top of the Non-commissioned ranks before he left so the houses did get better as I got older.

He was frequently away on tour in NI but luckily as a mechanic he was rarely on the front line. It didn't stop us missing him and worrying for him though. My mum was left by herself with three young children which I realise now must have been incredibly hard. She was very active in the wives' social circle though and this kept her sane.

He was discharged in 1989 and struggled to cope with civvy street. He couldn't get a job, he ended up working in various temporary positions just to get money in. He died in 1992 a broken man.

I was really hoping that the way forces personnel and their families were treated had improved. Sounds like it hasn't at all.

JARM I feel for you. I wish your family all the best in your new life and I hope you can settle quickly.

Sorry to hijack the thread with my story but this has touched a nerve.

khakiqueen, whereabouts in scotland are you? We have had the Prime Contract doing the repairs for over a year now and i can honestly say i haven't had a problem, the work is easy to report and the jobs are done within the timescale.
Am i the only RAF wife on here then?. The RAF guys are a bit annoyed as none of them will qualify for this tax cut thing, as RAF tours are 4 months old. its a bit unfair that they face exactly the same dangers as the Army and Navy, yet don't get any benefit from it

Is the 6 month relief or bonus or what ever the y are calling this compensatory payment rather cynical then, two 3 month tours don't count either presumably..if any of my children wanted to join up I would do everything to dissuade them

saltire I hadn't realised that, what a crock of shit

I am at 2 div patch craigiehall, trying to get someone to do anything is quite vexing! I should really just get off my lardy ass and go and see someone about it instead of whinging!

It hadnt clicked that RAF wouldnt get it, thats pretty poor - there is enough discord between the services without that. The only silver lining for army is that maybe they will shortne the tours to save money - firends in 2LI are out in Iraq and doing 8 months, really feel for those wives.

J&RM So with you on that hun am looking forward for you, to be away from it all, bless you.

Have brought it on myslf again though I'm having a baby with an ex army Boyfriend (back together now) . He recently left colly, to that new BKS in Ipswich. He is supposed to be off back to Colchester sometime in the future and there has been talks of myself and the DC moving down there but from the sounds of it I may be better staying put in sunny Blackpool LOL

STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!!

Colchester is a dive, I hate it. My family is in Ipswich and we will be moving there when the discharge finally goes through.

I really do despise the Army for what they have put us through, but on the other hand I am grateful they managed to supply housing when we couldnt have afforded it either.

Not long - i keep thinking that by Christmas he will be out and we will be so much happier!

YEY!! seriously hun have you got your boxes ready for marchout?? if not I think maybe you should, it may help it come faster IYSWIM

Just wait to the day you hand in that key at your DHE office whoo hoooooooo

not long flower!!

jarm that's terrible. roll on discharge date.

we're currently looking at a new boiler being fitted - althou appreantly 70% of our houses here are sub standard - we have the really old water/heater emersion tank thingys. one of the windows has broken down (gotta ring MHS about that) and basically teh heating naff, there's a shed load of moss on the roof, which comes down in the rain to the drain and clogs them up. but when u ring up - it's not MHS's job it's so and so's so u ring them and it's not their job - the whole new system is crap - althou our new welfare team here are excellent, they come to all our coffee mornings and listen to our moans take piccys and get things sorted so can't somplain ther- althou my mate has scaffolding around her house, a 2 year old little girl and damn with part of the roof ruiened so damp's coming in - then there's the carpet on the stairs all hanging about- it's terrible.

money wise - i'm glad we've been given an extra £96 p/w for when they're abroad, but the wages in general are laughable, considering the job they do as well.

still I married DH knowing who/waht he is, I support him all the way - for the most part I love being a forces wife, but sometimes there's just no let up - for example in his old unit it was an ex every few weeks or a few days here there and everywhere - tbh from jan this year to the end of march i'd spent one w/e with him (aoart from his 2 weeks paternity leave) and after a while that really gets u down. I think if there was more manning accross the board then it might well help to ease the stress already on the boys - I feel sorry for the other corps - he's signalls so thankfully he's been away once and that's all, but the lads whom he took over from in iraq went back there to relive his lot 6 months later - the poor families.

When we left our old unit there was 3 deaths wihtin 2 months I think it was. absoilutly terrible - really knocked DH as he knew one of them. worst part is knwoing that some of my mate's hubby's are out there and it could be them in trouble.

when Joey's oldre I don't want him to be in the forces, or for my daughters to married a service man - it's not an easy life to lead, you don't really accept it, nor do I think u enjoy the time apart you just learn to deal with things best you can. hardest part i'm findin at the mintue is being both mum/dad to joey so i'm always the bad cop, DH comes home and wants to play and is good cop. it's not nice, there's resentment as I feel DH should keep to his routein i've set etc and DH feels he's back and is the man so he should be boss- in reality the poor boy gets confused and I think hold on why are u doing that u don't know iycwim.

sal - really they don't get the break - that's absolutly disgusting, it should be across the board not one for us and one for u - then lkittle joe bloggs has double cos he's this that or the other, have the welfare teams and that taken up the issue?

(Martin bishops' a RAF wife)

Well they have just pissed me off even more... DH was at work at 8am this morning.

He has just been told (well 4.30pm) he isnt coming home tonight until after the function that is on - no-one had told him before hand that he would be working it, and we dont know when he will be home. To top it all off, the boss reckons his "job" tonight will be standing at the end of the servery to make sure everything goes ok..... big problem, he is on crutches and not allowed to stand for more than 15 mins at a time!

Its a joke - he phones me at 4.35pm - 10 mins before i usually go to pick him up to tell me to get the girls and my tea on because he wont be home. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

erm has anyone seen
this

apparently it's quite serious, it would never work in this country..would it?

IMO this anti-armed forces stance misses the point. Many soldiers, due to their career choice are now having to take part in conflicts that many people disagree with. It does not follow, though, that we do not need an army at all. I consider myself to be a pacifict and believe in the importance of dialogue, diplomacy and international law. I would have to be extremely naive, however, to think that we live in a world where all governments and peoples share my views and to believe that we will never ever again be in physical danger from aggression. I believe that the people who sign up to defend our democracy, our civil liberties and (EVEN DARE I SAY) the unpopular policies of our governments should not be condemned, but rather admired. I have compassion and sympathy for relatives of those who join our armed forces and do not believe that this poses a challenge to my stance about current conflicts. Please, criticise government foreign policy(!!) but recognise that choosing to join the army does not necessarily make a person a "mug".

Hooleymama....must say I giggled at the Flat Daddy thing....I don't think it's somehting we will start in this house, lol!
Well, my dh is in the Army, and has been a long time, his 22 years are up in a few years, but he might be extending for a few years, and I am happy with that...saying that, he now works together with the TA, as a regular seargant, so, hours are better all in all, but of course a lot of weekends alone, lol...but yeah it is what he is signed up for, he will soon go to Afghanistan, and yes I shall worry about it, and probably won't be watching any news, etc...as that is for me the easiest way to cope....I just have to trust that he knows what he is doing and that that will be in his advantage, iykwim!
We have known for 12 years and are 11 years married....!
I do get annoyed at the Anti Army/Servicemen hoohaa.....at the end of the day, yes, they knew what they have signed up for, and when you marry them you know what you let yourself into, but that doesn't make the job any easier at time or less dangerousor makes it any easier when you are seperated for a long time....!
I think it's really naive of people when they think we don't need an Army...of course, in an ideal world we wouldn't need it, but we don't live in that world!

I am with you on not watching the news! Its never accurate anyway, all this business about Sir Rich Dannart has blown out of proportion - even the girl who did the actual interview agreed. Mine will be away in Afghan from April and apart form worrying about DD forgetting about him I shoo just try and live my life. Cant decide whether its better just to have the weekly calls from him and email or just calls. What does every one else about communication?

Dh is in the RAF. I can't complain when he is in a hazerdous place but I can't stop worrying!

He gets comparitivly well paid , when the comparison is made with a Private in the army (who's pay is a disgrace BTW). However dh could walk out tomorrow and into a job with the airlines where he would work less and get paid twice what he is now.

I do get sick at the poor conditions they have though.

During the time he spent flying over Afghanistan, their beds were so awful he had to go to the local dump to finf some boards to shore up his bed 9they were in a tent for 6 weeks at a time). The aircraft he flys costs £100 million, but his government didn't think he deserved a decent bed.