Late motherhood as ‘big a problem’ as teenage mums

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anyone see this article in the ST?

I actually felt quite offended for about 10 minutes

Hellywobs - at 35 your risk of having a child with down syndrome is not 1 in 50. Sorry just needed to let you know.

And down syndrome is not the end of the world as you know it nor is it a punishment. I can't say anymore to such an ignorant and stupid statement.

My AFP tests came back high risk for Down, but having worked with Children with the syndrome, and having seen my beautiful baby on the scan, there was no way I could have contemplated an abortion. Now 41 and sometimes I still wonder if we made the right decision to stop with 2. I had mine at 36 and 38 and wouldn't think twice about doing it all again. Only difference would be the tests. eidsvold your daughter sounds a delight and i wish I could let my ds's play with her - wrong continent. Oh and CONGRATULATIONS just had to shout that one. Wonderful wonderful news and I'm somewhat

Morning

We have had to leave 3 years between our children as we couldn't afford the cost of having two young children in childcare. The option of one of us giving up work was not possible at the time, again due to the cost of living in London and a mega mortgage. Many of my friends at work have also had to leave this 3 year gap - i.e. wait until one child is in pre-school before having another. In fact this is often a patern with working women (the 3 year gap).If the government would only subsidise childcare, e.g. like in Sweden, some like us people would be able to afford kids younger anyway. And have more - the government is always droning on about cost of the aging population, but people feel they can't afford to have more children anyway!

On the health issue, I just feel I've paid so much tax and NI over the years, I'm entitled to NHS treatment - we do pay for it after all don't we? Saying that, I started having children at 36, am now pregnant at 42 and have needed no extra health intervention with any of them so far.

I think we are all well aware of the risks of having children later in life, but we don't live in an ideal world and things (babies, good job opportunities, affordable housing ec) don't always magically come along when we want them to. We often have to wait for them.

Also, like to just add that my brother is Downs, my Mum had him when she was only 29 and he certainly wasn't a "punishment", he's an absolute treasure.

'Understanding risk' is something that a rational person does, and then they go ahead or not.
But now, it seems we are deemed not rational for making informed choices!

Anyway, I agree with Bibliophile (having done quite a bit of layperson research as a non-rational older mother) that possible fertility difficulties an an increased chance of Down's, there were no significant risks associatd with pg or birth.

DS does have a 'birth defect', but we have been told by consultants rom a diversity of relevant discipines that this was nothing to do with my age, but a random accident at conception. In fact, I suspect that it could well be caused by build-up of dioxins and some other common chemical pollutant (I forget the name) which are accumulative in the body and typically cause things like DS's leg.

'Don't drink drinks from plastic bottles, don't freeze drinks in plastic bottles' could help eliminate the man-made risks to pg and birth to people who are having children entirely within the natural span of childbearing!

Does anyone call people who drink from plastic bottles irrational?

sorry - 'that BEYOND possible fertility difficulties..'

Blu Hi

What was that about drinking from plastic bottles when PG? Do the plastic's chemicals seep into the drink? Like if you boil water in an aluminium saucepan, the water absorbs the aluminium?

Blu- those sorts of chemicals have been suggested to be implicated in autism as well (with other factors).

I'm not sure what to say about "unscathed" or a child with DS being a "punishment".

I had my severely disabled child at 28, my 2 NT children at 31 and 34. At DS1's school (SLD/PMLD) there are many young mothers. Many of the problems the children have stem from birth injuries, or conditions aquired after birth (from having meningitis for example). Probably the split is fairly equal between genetic, aquired and unknown.

is a learning disability really so bad?

not in our case - not in a lot of cases that I see every week.

Nor in my brother's - he's pretty independent, reads, writes and almost has a photographic memory. He can also do sign language and is a pretty good artist.

hellywobs, I was 24 when my dd with DS was born. Maybe not having any children is the safest way to avoid being 'punished'?

My MIL, my grandmother, my stepmothers mother all had children over 40. Its just it wasn't their first child. Before contraception was widely available women just had babies until they stopped.

Had our 4th baby 3 weeks before turning 40 - she wasn't planned and probably conceived after a couple of bottles of Rioja. Didn't have amnio as AFP results good (though heart scans followed as a baby born when I was a "perfect" age died of a congenital problem). Labour lasted about 20 mins - bit of gas and air, but mainly just danced around. Didn't take up NHS resources - just went home afterwards. I'm not an exception - most of my older mum friends seem to have a similar story. Hardly expensive to the NHS.

fatfox - as I understand it, it isn't just absorbing dioxins and the other things (pcbs? I forget what - some letters, anyway!) during pregnancy, it's during your whole life. They accumulate in your body. Freezing and microwaving 'unlock' the substances from the plastic, so freezing water in plastic bottles to drink cold as it thaws (I spent my 20s on greek beaches doing just that) increases the risk. Ditto microwaving in plastic. I don't think it is ALL types of plastics - but the softer ones.

I may be wrong but I think that the reason for a lower amount of certain fish is recommended for girls is because the heavy metals (mercury etc) they are polluted with also accumultaes in your body throughout your life.

It made sense to me that being an older mother meant that I had been accumulating these substances for longer, and therefore more susceptible.

But I still maintain that the problem to sort out is chemical contamination of our food and environment - not the age at which we choose to bear children during entirely natural child-bearing years. (I was lucky - but not that unusual judging by all my ante and post natal classes and groups)- and conceived instantly at 43)

Interesting, Blu. Has anyone noticed the mums own toddler meals that now come in plactic dishes? I don't like them for this very reason.

I had all four of mine between 22 and 28. (DH is 2 years older than me). The middle two have dyspraxia and the 3rd one has ADHD as well. I was 26 when I had him- the "perfect" age. Load of cobblers.

Blu

Thanks for that. I don't want to get all preachy, but it really shocks me the amount of children's drinks which have aspartame in. If pregnant women are advised not to use artificial sweetners, why is it OK to fill childrens drinks with them? Being an "older Mum", I'm old enough to remember all the tests they did on aspartame years ago, where it gave mice brain cancer .

cant believe that it is apparently acceptable to call teenage mothers feckless!

I think the medical report has a point though - women should be aware of the risks of post 35 pregnancy. Of course there will always be people who have babies post 35, that's just normal - but at least we should know the risks involved.

There is also a social cost to babies born late to career women. I know, because I am one. my mother was very unusual in her day.

I've been double lucky then, despite being high-risk first time (teenager) and high-risk second time (40) , I had no health or medical problems during pg's or births, and none in either child.

Both conceived naturally and normal deliveries.