Headmaster confiscates TV in children's bedroom

[speedymama]

This is really fascinating and illuminating, \link{http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/5047724.stm\here}.

I've always believed that many children with behavioural problems have parents who struggle with or who do not care about enforcing discipline. It amazes me that this guy has been into houses where parents feel that they have no control over their off-spring and he has turned things around by simply confiscating their electronic and electrical gadgets. I appreciate that it is not as simple as the story implies but surely the parents are the ones who buy their children these things and therefore they should have a say in how they are used. Or am I viewing this through rose tinted glasses?

Saw this reported yesterday. To me it sounds like a delegation of the parents' responsibilties rather like the bedtime issue. Smacks of good cop, bad cop and wonder if the parents actually learn to change their approach to help their children's behaviour longer term. These are primary school aged children after all. Also wonder how the children affected view the headmaster afterwards ?

I'm with you there. If the parents agree that the electronic stuff is adversely affecting their children, why on earth does it need the headteacher to come in and confiscate them? Why don't the parents do it themselves? Or is it just that they don't want to be seen as the "bad guy"?

My children do not have and will never have televisions or computers in their bedrooms and their time on the ones we do have is restricted.

That story really is more of an indictment of the parents' lack of control in their own homes than anything else.

I wish DS's head teacher would come round and wash DS's hair -it really undermines my self-esteem when he screams when I do it.....

I am glad these pupils are getting a chance, but agree with Freckle about the real issue here.

But the kids in his unit have already been excluded form mainstream primary, so if he is prepared to do what it takes, with or without the parents, then good for him!

If there was more parental control in the home, I believe that the number of children being excluded from school would plummet. I recognise that a tiny minority of children do have genuine medical reasons that would explain their anti-social behaviour but for the majority, it really is down to the parents not enforcing discipline in the home.

The last time I was at the hairdresser, their was a 4yo running riot and one of the hairdressers said to the other one that he had already been excluded from school. His mother, one of the part-time hairdressers, just let him run round causing havoc and it was left to one of the other hairdressers to chatise him. I felt sorry for him because with that kind of upbringing, the odds are already stacking up against him at age 4yo

I meant there was a 4yo

In the report I read, the Headmaster gets the parents' agreement before raiding! It then said that the parents learn to take control and be in charge of the family again, rather than the kids ruling the roost.

Agree it shouldn't be necessary, but if it works, why not?!!

If the government can take breastfeeding so seriously and promote the benefits thereof why do they stay silent on other aspects of parenting such as T.V.'s and electronic gadgets in kids bedrooms ? There has been research in this field and we could all benefit from parents not being afraid to be in control (i.e. be parents and not indulgent best mates)

I can't help thinking that suitable bedtimes and no distractions in the bedroom would possibly also make teachers' lives a bit easier, with kids who were able to concentrate as they were not over tired.

Over my dead body will ds have a TV or computer in his room. Music maybe, but nothing else.

Come on government officials lets have lots of overhyped scare stories about the detrimental effect of TV/Computers in kids bedrooms then we can stop feeling like victorian parents for our ideas of set bedtimes/no distractions etc.

I wonder how much of this is down to otherwise good parents not having confidence in raising their children these days?

I think that parents are sometimes fearful of enforcing disciplining in case they are viewed as too harsh plus these days, it seems that even a raised voice is enough to incur the wrath of social services with the offenders being accused of verbal, emotional and pyschological abuse. Perhaps I'm being flippant but I think you understand the point I'm trying to make. I would like to see parenting decriminalised (just because you raise your voice or occasionally smack does not make you a loathesome beast), parents empowered in their own homes and busy body dogooders who are responsible for paralysing active parenting to go the way of the dinosaurs.

agree with speedymama completely.

i think some parents are just fuckwits - and i have no sympathy or liberal guardianista argument either.

i had no brothers or sisters - my family life consisted of my mother and me.

so where i got my parenting values - fuc knows. i think it down right fucking lazyness and there is no bloody excuse for it

stick em infront of the tv becuase otherwise they might whinge

kids fucking well whinge - and fuck em - they cry too - oh no - a fucking revelation that you kow - jesus H christ.

some things are just sensible

i watch some parenting programmes in complete disbelief

i mean a telly in a 3 year olds room - or even a video player

they the parents are screaming and crying and shouting when the kid wont go to sleep

tell you what - i'll poke you with a fucking needle shall i - and see if you can go to sleep - its like giving kids a drink before bedtime and wonder why they get up for a wee....then won't go back to sleep

DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i mean its pretty basic stuff.

no i dont vote tory

Custardo - succint and to the point as usual

ROFLMAO Custardo

We should email that posting to Tanya Byron, Jo Frost and those weird hybrid creatures on Nanny 911

with the exception of recognised cases of ADHD and ASD (where the cause is something quite didfferent) I totaly agree with speedymama.

Parents don't have the confidence to dicipline their kids in an appropriate, loving and consistant wany.

If their behaviour makes you want to rea them the riot act, then farking well read it to them!

Some parents are so insecure in their child's love that they are too frightened to lay down the law in case the kid stops loving them. Which is utter bollocks. Kids are happiest when they have clear, predictable rules to follow, and to push against.

In the school where I work, we have now finaly stopped selling sweets and chocol;ates. And you should see the massive fucking bars of choloclate the parents have given their kids! And then they compain that the kids are too wired to work!

That happened on Jamie Olivers programme, School Dinners. Parents were passing MacDonalds through the railings to their kids. I'm not knocking McD by the way, just the fact it was the parents themselves who were undermining the healthier meals initiative

National uptake of school dinners is down by 12.5% since Jamie

Some kid's school lunches are great but some are total shit. I despare at some parents, I honestly do.

sorry kids' before the monitor slaps me

Totally agree with speedymama and Custardo.

When I was at primary school in the 60's the teachers, admittedly some of them were nuns, used to poke fun at the chocolate stuffing spoilt kids which made my life easier as my parents didn't have money to spare to choccies and sweets.

It stopped most kids wanting to bring in chocolate bars/sweets etc. although most ate them on the way home !

The school dinners were atrocious quality however, fat and gristle was classed as meat and mashed potatoes were made up from packet mix. I was always in trouble for hiding my "meat" under the mashed potato in a bid to get out of the dining room a.s.a.p. I was always really skinny until I went to secondary school and I put it down to the awful cooked dinners which my mum insisted were good for us (I think they were subsidised).

I'm hoping Jamie will get primary school hot lunches re-established (and of a reasonable quality) before ds starts school in 2007 and I will then turn into my mother by insisting that he has hot lunches at school.

Does anyone remember the newspaper article describing a situation where a mother at an organised session at a play area told her son off for throwing sand at other kids and made him leave the sand pit whilst she lectured him in front of the other kids and parents with liberal use of the words NO and DON'T DO THAT. One of the other mums then approached her and said something like "we don't really like to constrain the children with the use of the word NO, you might be interested in these parenting classes to help you with that"

I will continue to use NO, DON'T DO THAT and for really bad behaviour "HOW DARE YOU, STOP IT RIGHT NOW AND COME HERE".
No smacking required, a stern "I BEG YOUR PARDON" if ds says something naughty and he instantly knows he's overstepped the mark.

If fuckw4ts put T.V.'s in their 3 year old kids bedrooms then IMHO they need parenting classes.

I have had a parent excuse a child's dreadful behaviour in a lesson by saying, 'Well I didn't like X in school, I expect that he doesn't like it and is bored'

To which I said, 'Mr Y, I cannot expect your son to like all his lessons , but I can expect him to behave in them'

The father looked totaly dumbfounded. The thought that there are standards of behaviour that are expeceted of a child in school seemed to be a totaly new concept for this man.

If that's 12.5% less turkey twizzlers and chips being consumed then surely it's a good thing

I do apprecuiate however that you need a critical mass of daily diners to continue to make hot lunches viable in schools.

We subsidise enough perks for delinquent kids in this country why can't we subsidise good quality hot lunches to reduce poor diet related behaviour. If good quality hot school lunches were free what do we think the take up percentage would be ?

Also agree with custardo and speedymama.

How sad that parents don't feel brave enough to parent their own children and need someone alse to come and do it for them. It's not hard to realise that a TV in a 3 year old's room isn't going to help them sleep, so why do it? I suppose because it's easier to put them in front of a TV to keep them quiet than to actually putting some effort into raising them.

No it isn't. The turkey twizlers have gone, and following that less kids are eating the new, improved school meals. The parents send them into school , often with a lunch box full of processed crap, crisps and chocolate.

It is since the improvements that rates have fallen, as parents give in to their kids wanting to eat junk.

It begs the question, who is the parent?

I would not be happy for my boys to eat school meals as I knwo that they're shocking, but I then wouldn't send them with a box full of junk. Are these parents scared of their own children? It's not nice when we have to do things our children don't like, but I rationalise it if I know it's in their best interests.

TBH, the meals where I work are good, and always have been.....but we made the mistake of also doing crappy stuff which (what a surprise!) the kids will always take in preference.

We have now signed up to the healthy schools initiative and we follow the guidelines on fresh fruit and veg, number of fried food options per week etc.

The meals are good nutritionaly and good value for miney. And still the kids are sent in with crap in a box!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah MartianBishop I can hear comforting echoes of the wonderful "killer" turns of phrase used by the teachers who were good at keeping discipline so that those of us who wanted to get on with our classwork could do so relatively undisturbed.

Was only reading in the paper recently that some teachers in training have only a half day training in class discipline. Why did they ever give kids so many rights to express themselves at all times "plenty of time to express your individuality after the bell goes, now be quiet and get on with the work".

If a teacher can't keep a class disciplined surely they need a refresher course (or the school needs a new head for a bit of serious leadership and more teacher support)

I'm just so victorian parenty I scare myself these days.

We recently looked round a primary school where the headteacher proudly told us he inspects the contents of lunchboxes at lunchtimes and sends notes to parents who are sending their kids with inappropriate stuff !

In my primary school days kids were made fun of, by the lunchtime supervisors, for having too much chocolate etc in their lunchboxes but I suppose these days parents would sue them for "traumatising" and picking on their kids.